Amber felt her head suddenly start to spin. Things had started moving way too fast again. Shouldn’t she talk to Jim first? Before she did anything? Shouldn’t she tell him everything she’d just told Debbie? Didn’t he have a right to know?
‘Debbie, I… I’m not sure about…’
Debbie threw her a stern yet sympathetic expression. ‘So what are you going to do, Amber? Sit and stress about everything? Is that the best plan of action? Surely you need to know what you’re dealing with, chick. Then we can move forward.’
‘But what if…’ Amber swallowed hard, finally realising that she did have to face up to this, sooner or later. If having a baby was what she really wanted. And it was. It really was. ‘What if it’s bad news, Debbie? What if… if I can’t…’
‘Hey, now, come on.’ Debbie’s tone was sympathetically scolding as she took Amber’s hand again. ‘Let’s promise ourselves that we won’t think that way, okay? Let’s just wait and see what Dr. Lowry has to say.’
Amber swallowed again, suddenly feeling as though she’d been thrust into some kind of alien situation that just didn’t seem real. She couldn’t relax as she watched Debbie get up and walk over to a quieter corner of the bar to make the call; a million things had started running through her head and none of them made any sense. Sometimes she wished things could go back to the way they’d been a year ago, when her life had been uncomplicated, well ordered, and she’d been in complete control of everything. But a year ago Jim hadn’t been around. A year ago her life still hadn’t been complete, no matter how well organised and controlled it might have been. So, if having Jim meant that she had to live with this chaos and lack of control, then she’d take that. Every time.
She looked up as Debbie came back over, her heart beating ten to the dozen. ‘How soon before he can fit me in?’
‘How soon?’ Debbie asked, sliding her phone back into her handbag. ‘Grab your things, chick. We’re going over there right now.’
‘You’re a natural, do you know that?’ Ronnie said, leaning back against the edge of the desk. It was coming up to a quarter-past eleven in the evening and they’d just finished a six-hour stint in front of the cameras, scrutinising the twists and turns of the summer transfer market so far, and with just a couple of weeks until the window closed, it was shaping up to be an exciting time. There’d been some interesting moves happening, some surprise transfers, and some exciting rumours. It brought back so many memories for Amber as she remembered last August, when all the rumours flying around back then had concerned Ryan Fisher’s move from a top London club to Newcastle Red Star, a move that had signalled the start of a life-changing journey for both of them. A journey she’d never forget.
She’d co-hosted the live broadcast alongside Cloud Sports’ popular and extremely likeable football anchorman, Steve Summers, who’d gone out of his way since Amber had started working at the channel to make her feel one of the team. Ronnie had been there as part of a panel of pundits made up of ex-footballers and managers, past and present, there to assess every move that was being made as players changed hands – and clubs – for copious amounts of money. Speculation about how the coming season could now go had begun in earnest, and Amber loved being a part of it all. She’d forgotten how exciting it could be, being right there in the thick of things.
She loved her new job, even if did take her away from Jim, and her beloved North East England, for short periods of time. But to make sure that she still felt at home even when she wasn’t at home, she and Jim had bought a small but comfortable semi- detached house not far from the £200 million pound purpose-built Cloud Television studio complex that was Amber’s new workplace. If she had to be away from where she would always consider home to be, then she at least wanted a place to stay that was theirs. Somewhere that felt like home.
But what made up for the fact that she’d be spending long periods of time away from the North East was the excitement of live TV. It was something she loved, something that gave her such an adrenalin rush. She’d spent years working in regional television so she wasn’t exactly a novice in that department, but this was a whole different ball game, what she was doing now. But it was where she belonged, where she felt comfortable, and, of course, it meant she continued to be surrounded by people who felt as strongly about the beautiful game as she did.
It also meant she was being kept extremely busy, and, right now, she wanted to be busy. The past couple of days had allowed her mind to focus on other things, and that was exactly what she’d needed.
‘A natural, huh?’ Amber smiled, leaning back in her chair and stretching her legs out in front of her, pushing both hands through her long, dark red hair.
‘A natural.’ Ronnie grinned, folding his arms. ‘You were amazing. No way would anyone have thought that was your first time behind that desk. You handled this lot like a pro.’
Amber laughed as she mouthed ‘goodnight’ to one of Ronnie’s fellow pundits as he made his way out of the studio. ‘Yeah, well, keeping you lot in line is easy really. You just need to know what you’re doing.’ She threw Ronnie a wink before finally, and reluctantly, getting up out of her seat. She’d grown quite comfortable in that chair over the past few hours, and she couldn’t wait to sit in it again tomorrow when she was due to co-host the channel’s regular Saturday afternoon Soccer Special – the first of the new season – alongside Steve.
‘Have you ever thought about having kids, Amber? I reckon you’d make a great mum. If you can keep this rabble in line then babies’ll be a breeze!’
It was a comment that had come out of nowhere, but it was a throw-away comment none-the-less and Amber knew that, because Ronnie had no idea what was going on in her life right now. But it still hit her hard. It still touched a nerve.
‘Yeah,’ she sighed, looking around for her phone. She’d thrown it down on the desk during one of the ad breaks and now she couldn’t find it anywhere. ‘Maybe.’
Ronnie frowned, sensing her change of mood immediately. ‘Everything all right?’
She looked at him. ‘Hmm? Sorry? Did you say something?’
‘Is everything okay? Only, you’ve gone a bit quiet. Is it something I’ve said?’
He’d said that with his tongue firmly in his cheek, it was obvious, and Amber couldn’t help but smile. ‘Funnily enough, yes.’
Ronnie’s expression changed instantly. ‘Huh? What… what have I said?’
Amber suddenly wished she hadn’t said anything now. She’d just inadvertently opened up floodgates she’d intended to keep very firmly shut until she had some answers. Until she’d spoken to Jim.
‘Nothing,’ she mumbled, finally finding her phone underneath an old running order. ‘Forget it.’
‘Erm, no. Can’t do that, sorry. Come on, what’s up? What have I said?’
Amber checked her phone for messages and saw that she had one from Jim, telling her he was on his way to the studios to pick her up and take her home.
‘I shouldn’t really be telling anyone else this, Ronnie.’
‘Not even your best friend?’
She looked at him. He was concerned now, worried. She couldn’t exactly leave him hanging, could she? She knew what he was like. If she didn’t give him some kind of plausible explanation he’d only be ringing her at all hours of the night, just to make sure she was okay.
She sighed, probably a touch