Take Susan’s story: Susan thought she had great big wobbly bits that stuck out from the sides of her thighs like saddlebags. In fact, her thighs only measured 90cm/36in but, to her, they were very large. She wanted to lose weight, so she gave herself a talking to and told her friends – when they were out at the cinema having ice cream – that she would be starting her campaign in earnest the next day. She had bought the latest diet sensation – it came with a government health warning, but what the heck! Oh, and she was going to get up and run every morning, and again when she came home from work. Yet despite all this positive talk, Susan felt deep down that she would still have her saddlebags. What Susan thought, said and did were not all going in the same direction.
She said she was going to take action and she did do what she said she would, but since she believed that she would fail, and still have her saddlebags at the end of it, her thoughts were going in a different direction to her words and actions. After a time, this would inevitably sabotage her efforts.
When what you do, or what you say you will do, is based on negative thoughts about yourself – a limiting belief – this negativity can only grow. It’s like feeding a fire. When you want to light a fire you get your kindling, some dry newspaper, wood and some firelighters and as the fire starts to burn you apply a little more air to fuel it. The more air you provide at the base, the fiercer the fire grows. Your thoughts are the same – they fuel the fire of your actions. Therefore if your fundamental belief is that you are going to fail, then you are more likely to – and of course each time you do, it will only serve to fuel your negativity and make it stronger, which makes losing weight harder each time you try.
Think about where you were five years ago and imagine a straight line from there to here, the present moment. Now extend that line into the future – by continuing to do as you do now, you’ll be where in five years time? If that place isn’t where you want to be, you need to change direction by addressing your thinking, saying and doing right now.
ACTION POINT 1: ESTABLISH THE PAY-OFF
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Make a list of at least five ways you think you will benefit by dropping a size and being more physically active. Be specific about what the benefit will be to you and how it will personally affect you. For example, having more energy is a common benefit, but to empower this statement and make it personal to you, you may need to write something like, ‘When I drop a size, I will have the energy to enjoy more intimacy with my partner.’
THE LOGIC
Writing things down makes you embrace your thoughts and the visual images this creates can reinforce what you think. Personalizing your benefit also allows you to see how your actions will directly affect you. Keeping these benefits personal rather than general makes them more appropriate to you and hence they become more powerful motivators. So stop being general and be more specific!
ACTION POINT 2: LIST YOUR SUCCESSES
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Make a list of all the things you have previously thought you would like to do in your life and have since accomplished. This list can cover small things such as cooking your first three-course meal or changing your own flat tyre. As long as you saw it as a challenge and you succeeded, it counts.
THE LOGIC
The action of recalling events or situations in which you have overcome a challenge helps reassure you that you have the potential to translate your thinking and saying into a successful action.
ACTION POINT 3: FIND YOUR MANTRA
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
This is about making belief part of your thoughts. Think of five positive affirmations for yourself. You need to be able to really believe in them – and they must be positively stated. Here is one of my client’s mantras: ‘I am going to do this for me. Steve Redgrave is my age and if he, as a man of my age, can take responsibility for his health then I can take responsibility for mine.’
THE LOGIC
Mantras can provide the positive momentum to get you where you need to be. They help strengthen your self-belief and build a strong foundation for your actions.
ACTION POINT 4: COMMIT TO PAPER
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Write your mantras down and place them in your underwear drawer, in your office drawer, on the mirror that you look at first thing in the morning, on a scrap of paper in your purse – anywhere that will reinforce your thought line.
THE LOGIC
Reinforcement works, even at a subconscious level.
ACTION POINT 5: TRACE YOUR ACTIONS
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Draw a table with three columns. At the top of each column write what you have thought, said and did with regard to diet and weight loss in the past, then write down your intentions this time round (you may find it helpful to revise this once you’ve read section two). On page 44 is an example of thinking, saying and doing not going in the same direction, followed by an example of when they do go in the same direction.
| Think | Say | Do |
| It’s going to be so difficult to shift this post-baby weight | I’m going to do 100 sit-ups every morning and eat one meal a day | Attempt the sit-ups and calorie deprivation regime for 3 days and end up knackered with a cold |
| Think | Say | Do |
| I will shift this post-baby weight, slowly but surely | I’m going to walk for 15 minutes every day with the buggy, fit in toning exercises when baby Grace is asleep and make a job lot of healthy soups and stews that I can freeze | Buy a good home exercise video with short, effective routines. Find a support network, such as a text messaging service to your mobile phone, to stay on track. Begin walking and compromise on the healthy eating by making a batch of soup and buying some low-fat ready-meals |
THE LOGIC
Committing your thoughts, aims and actions to paper allows you to see whether they are all heading the right way. Your past experience may also offer some clues as to pitfalls to avoid. If your thoughts are undermining your aims and actions, go back to your mantras, ensure they are positively stated and that you are saying and seeing them every day.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Ensuring that what you think, say and do are all heading in the same direction means your mind and body are primed for positive action. Achieve this and you are ready for step four.