She showered and dressed comfortably in her favourite blue jeans, trainers and a baby-pink T-shirt. Sharon had been right about her weight: her once-tight jeans were just about staying up with the aid of a belt. She made a face at her reflection in the mirror. She looked ugly. She had black circles under her eyes, her lips were chapped and chewed and her hair was a disaster. First thing to do was to go down to her local hairdressers and pray they could squeeze her in.
‘Jaysus, Holly!’ her stylist, Leo, exclaimed. ‘Would ya look at the state of ya! People, make way! Make way! I have a woman here in a critical condition!’ He winked at her and proceeded to push people from his path. He pulled out the chair for her and pushed her into it.
‘Thanks, Leo. I feel really attractive now,’ Holly muttered, trying to hide her beetroot-coloured face.
‘Well, don’t, ’cos you’re in bits. Sandra, mix me up the usual, Colin get the foil, Tania get me my little bag of tricks from upstairs – oh, and tell Will not to bother getting his lunch, he’s doing my twelve o’clock.’ Leo ordered everyone around, his hands flailing wildly as though he was about to perform emergency surgery. Perhaps he was.
‘Oh sorry, Leo, I didn’t mean to mess up your day.’
‘Of course you did, love. Why else would you come rushing in here at lunchtime on a Friday without an appointment? To help world peace?’
Holly guiltily bit her lip.
‘Ah, but I wouldn’t do it for anyone else but you, love.’
‘Thanks.’
‘How have you been?’ He rested his skinny little behind on the counter facing Holly. Leo must have been fifty years old yet he didn’t look a day over thirty. His honey-coloured hair matched his honey-coloured skin, and he always dressed so perfectly. He was enough to make any woman feel like crap.
‘Terrible.’
‘Yeah, you look it.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Ah well, at least by the time you walk out of here you’ll have one thing sorted. I do hair, not hearts.’
Holly smiled gratefully at his odd little way of showing he understood.
‘But, Jaysus, Holly, when you were coming in the door did you see the word “magician” or “hairdresser” on the front of the salon? You should have seen the state of the woman who came in here today. Mutton dressed as lamb. Not far off sixty, I’d say. Handed me a magazine with Jennifer Aniston on the cover. “I want to look like that,” she says.’
Holly laughed at his impression. He had the facial expression and the hand movements all going at the same time.
‘“Jaysus,” I says, “I’m a hairdresser, not a plastic surgeon. The only way you’ll look like that is if you cut out the picture and staple it to your head.”’
‘No! Leo, you didn’t tell her that?’ Holly’s jaw dropped in surprise.
‘Of course I did! The woman needed to be told – sure, wasn’t I helping her? Swanning in here dressed like a teenager. The state of her!’
‘But what did she say?’ Holly wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. She hadn’t laughed like this for months.
‘I flicked the pages of the mag for her and came across a lovely picture of Joan Collins. Told her it was right up her street. She seemed happy enough with that.’
‘Leo, she was probably too terrified to tell you she hated it.’
‘Ah, who cares? I have enough friends.’
‘Don’t know why,’ Holly laughed.
‘Don’t move,’ Leo ordered. Suddenly he had become awfully serious and his lips were pursed together in concentration as he separated Holly’s hair ready for colouring. That was enough to send Holly into stitches again.
‘Ah, come on, Holly,’ Leo said in exasperation.
‘I can’t help it, Leo. You got me started and now I can’t stop …’
Leo paused in what he was doing and watched her with amusement. ‘I always thought you were for the madhouse. No one ever listens to me.’
She laughed even harder. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Leo. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t stop.’ Holly’s stomach ached from laughing so hard and she was aware of all the curious glances she was attracting but she just couldn’t help it. It was as if all the missed mirth from the past couple of months were tumbling out at once.
Leo propped himself back on the counter and watched her. ‘You don’t need to apologise, Holly. Laugh all you like. You know they say it’s good for the heart.’
‘Oh, I haven’t laughed like this for ages,’ she chortled.
‘Well, you haven’t had much to laugh about, I suppose,’ he smiled sadly. Leo had loved Gerry too. They’d teased each other whenever they’d met, but they’d both known it was all in fun. Leo snapped himself out of his thoughts, tousled Holly’s hair playfully and planted a kiss on the top of her head. ‘But you’ll be all right, Holly Kennedy,’ he assured her.
‘Thanks, Leo,’ she said, calming herself down, touched by his concern. He went back to work on her hair, putting on his funny little concentrating face, which started Holly off again.
‘Oh, you laugh now, Holly, but wait till I accidentally give you a stripy head of colour. We’ll see who’s laughing then.’
‘How’s Joe?’ Holly asked, keen to change the subject before she embarrassed herself again.
‘He dumped me,’ Leo said, pushing aggressively with his foot on the chair’s pump, sending Holly higher into the air and causing her to jerk wildly in her chair.
‘O-oh, Le-eo, I-I-I-’m soooo sor-reeee. Yo-ooou twooo we-eerree soooo gree-aat togeeeeth-eeer.’
‘Yeah, well, we’re not so gree-aat together now, missy. I think he’s seeing someone else. Right. I’m going to put two shades of blonde in: a golden colour and the blonde you had before. Otherwise it’ll go that brassy colour that’s reserved for my prostitute clientele only.’
‘Oh, Leo, I’m sorry. If he has any sense at all he’ll realise what he’s missing.’
‘He mustn’t have any sense so. We split up two months ago and he hasn’t realised it yet. Or else he has and he’s delighted. I’m fed up; I’ve had enough of men. I’m just going to turn straight.’
‘Now that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard …’
Holly bounced out of the salon with delight. Without Gerry beside her, a few men looked her way, something that was alien to her and made her feel uncomfortable, so she ran to the safety of her car and prepared herself for her parents’ house. So far, today was going well. It had been a good move to visit Leo. Even in his heartbreak he worked hard to make her laugh. Holly took note of it.
She pulled up to the kerb outside her parents’ house in Portmarnock and took a deep breath. To her mother’s surprise Holly had called her first thing in the morning to arrange a time to meet up. It was three thirty now, and Holly sat outside in the car with butterflies in her tummy. Apart from the visits her parents had paid to her over the past month Holly had barely spent any proper time with her family. She didn’t want all the attention directed at her, the intrusive questions about how she was feeling and what she was going to do next being fired at her all day. However, it was time to put that fear aside. They were her family.
Her parents’ house was situated directly across the road from Portmarnock beach, the blue flag baring testament to its cleanliness. She parked the car and stared across the road to the sea. She had lived here from