The Rules 2: More Rules to Live and Love By. Ellen Fein

it’s just dinner, maybe she sleeps with him—and she thinks this is the beginning of a whirlwind bicoastal courtship.

      The reality is, it may not be. He may be lying. He may be in town for another week, but figures this way he’ll get what he wants right away. Or he may be married and this is his standard pickup line when he’s out of town. There are men who have a girl in every port. You don’t want to be one of them. But even if he’s sincere, single, and really likes you, the answer is still no to a last-minute date. You think if you say no, he’ll forget you. But Rules girls know that he’ll remember you that much more if you turn him down.

      So the next time you meet a man who asks you to dinner the same night because he’s in town just a few days, say, “I’d love to, but I have other plans.” Let him call you in advance the next time he plans to be in town or make a special trip to see you.

      The only way to know if a man is really interested in you—instead of just filling up a few hours—is to not accept a last-minute date. When you make him wait several days to see you or you make him wait until he’s in town again a month later, he gets to experience longing. If his feelings about you are just lukewarm, he won’t bother to make a date beforehand—by following The Rules, you’ll avoid wasting your time and having your hopes dashed later on. We know quite a few women who were full of hope, but then never heard from Mr. Bicoastal again.

      Here’s another common long-distance scenario. You meet Mr. Right on the first day of a seven-day vacation. Perhaps you’re from different cities in the United States and you meet on a Club Med trip. He speaks to you first, asks you out for that night, and wants to be with you for all seven days and nights. You think, why not? He’s cute. This is the whirlwind romance you always read about and dreamed about.