8
Mara, my aunt, has grown up in a bride. The girl is more than twenty years old, and my mother Dara is still little girl. My grandfather stayed there for two – three days and went back home. Time goes on. My aunt Mara has married. Parents had only my mother. She also has grown up. She was fifteen. They have begun to look out for her from all sides even she still was a little girl. And she, the child as a child, talked to the mother:
“No, mummy, I am not going to marry with someone unknown as it accustomed in the village. They will come, will arrange a match for the girl, and she even never saw future husband and didn’t speak a word with him. I want, mother, at first to talk to future husband and if he will be pleasant to me, I will allow him to marry with me and then I will go beyond him”.
“My daughter, – mother answered, – look, my dear as war killed almost all youth, and shiptara[13] will only be heard about what young little girl begin to hunt for her to take away. Because of these parents give children even to old if only to keep honor and the person of a family, just not to give the child hasn’t into shiptarsky hands. Therefore, daughter, everything goes according to recommendations. If in a respectable family there is a groom, the matchmaker comes to them and tells about this or that girl. If someone suits them, then they go and marry off her. Then, families of the groom and the bride have to award the matchmaker for the fact that they were intermediaries of that marriage. And so, daughter, that you have got acquainted with some guy, saw him, agreed with him – whether wants to arrange a match for you or not, daughter, this can be in future, now it is impossible”.
All illusions and dreams of my mother have fallen into water. As well as each girl at that time, before the sixteen – anniversary she had received a groom from dear and rich family Lazovic. She didn’t want to hear about it, but nobody asked. And the matchmaker – was her sister Mara. She told, explained and advised this dear family, and my grandmother and the grandfather have agreed to give daughter out. They have pledged the word. They have agreed about that when the wedding will take place and the matchmakers happy, have gone home.
For the next day on a threshold of the house my grandfather has appeared. He has brought again meat of a game, potato, haricot, wheat and corn. He entered the house. My grandmother has begun to tell him what has occurred as they have pledged the word and now they were waiting for the wedding day of my mother. Grandfather has put her on knees, ironed on long hair and consoled:
“Do not worry, my daughter. That. Such is destiny. I know that you don’t love him yet, but it will come time when you’ll love this person more than yourself. Don’t worry, daughter, everything will get up on the places”.
My mother calmed down and left the house so that old could talk.
“Sister, – grandfather began to speak, – I can’t tell you what freight fell on my shoulders. I know that you pledged the word and you can’t withdraw it. It would be equated to suicide. I know that you sent the child to the richest and dear family in Kosovo, but I know also that all misfortunes and burdens of this world will fall to this guy and it will be very heavy for her to live with him”.
“Brother, don’t frighten me, I beg you. If it is so, then I won’t endure it!”
“Believe me, sister, while his father is alive, and his is a support of that family, everything will be as it should be, but after his death they will appear in an abyss. God grant, there would not happen what was shown to me”.
They spent two – three days together again and agreed to meet on the first of May when the wedding day was appointed. My grandfather went his own way, and grandfather and grandmother remained with their thoughts.
The wedding passed. My mother lodged in the new house. At the beginning everything was as in a fairy tale. It seemed to her that she fell in love with my father more than life. Why not! While he was such hardworking and attentive. She felt that he is ready to give his hurt for her at any time. Immensely he loved her and agreed with her in everything. In everything he was the best. And when he sang, all with delight listened to his melodious voice.
It is impossible to measure their happiness when the first son appeared. His father Sretko waited appearance of the grandson, and then after a long disease passed away. It became the first misfortune for all family. It passed around a year from anniversary of his death as Olga, elder sister of the father, married an Albanian. My father couldn’t endure this shock. Everywhere he looked for her and wanted to kill her to keep honor of a family. It was in vain. She wasn’t let to go anywhere from home. And my father, always smiling and cheerful, became silent and gloomy. His pain, hatred and desire to revenge to Olga sister, didn’t cease also in a month. And here, like a bolt from the blue, there passed hearing, as other his sister Natalya married an Albanian. It just killed him. Nobody could talk to him anymore. Even more often he began to get drunk. It happened while he was sober, he came to mother who was pregnant at that moment and mourned the evil destiny. At around the same time, when he had especially serious crisis, her mother died and soon her husband Sreten died. I assume that their experiences killed them because of a prophecy of my grandfather which began to be performed. After the second mother’s childbirth, a beautiful girl came to the world. She thought that this will calm him, and everything will return on old again. However, everything was vain. Mother became pregnant and gave birth to one more son. And this child didn’t pull together them.
Once, while my father was engaged in rural affairs, in their house appeared a relative and told to father’s mother and my grandmother that he saw her daughter Natalya and the son – in – law Nazif. He told to send “hi” and to wish them to be happy and that they wanted to visit my grandmother in her house. She answered that she will possibly accept them and she will only talk to other family members. In the evening when all were at home, only grandmother mentioned it, father was nearly at a blow. If he could, then at that moment he would kill mother, brother and two sisters who convinced him that life goes on and it is necessary to reconcile. There was a quarrel and father threatened – if they come, then he will kill them right in the middle at home! Grandmother became angry and threatened to throw him out from the house if he doesn’t respect her decisions.
This night he for the first time hit my mother. Then he left and didn’t spend the night at home. And the next day he didn’t appear. He returned only late at night and as a thief crept in the house. He wasn’t drunk. This evening, in silence of the room, he tried to construct a relationship with mother. At the beginning she became angry about him, but then she was softened and began to talk. They came to the decision that here, in the family circle, they can’t live. They will talk to all about the section and will take away the part of farm on which they will build the house and will live with their families and there they will accept the one who is wanted.
In the morning father mentioned about the last before mother, brother and unmarried sisters and again the quarrel began. His mother flew into the room where they slept and began to throw out the things bought by my parents during marriage from a window. She didn’t want to live with them under the same roof no one day more. She threw out them from the house, and didn’t want to divide earth while she is still alive.
There was good weather and, without having where to go, they took place under old plum. So, they lived for a week. As well as in each village, the message about a quarrel of mother and son extended very quickly. All hoped that it quickly will pass and grandmother will call him back home. If not because of him, then for the sake of three young children. It didn’t occur.
Father looked for housing everywhere. After seven days spent under the open sky they took things and lodged at godmothers’ house. For small kept money father bought from the relative a piece of earth of eight ar[14].