Then the Queen said to Alice, “Have you seen the Mock Turtle[140] yet?”
“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”
“It’s the thing what Mock Turtle Soup[141] is made from,” said the Queen.
“I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.
“Come on, then,” said the Queen, “and he will tell you his history,”
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company, “You are all pardoned.[142]” “THAT’S a good thing!” she said to herself.
Very soon they came to a Gryphon.[143] “Take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back,” the Queen said and Alice was left alone with the Gryphon. She did not quite like the look of the creature, so she waited.
The Gryphon watched the Queen and when she was out of sight it chuckled. “What fun!” said the Gryphon.
“What IS the fun?” said Alice.
“Well, SHE,” said the Gryphon. “they never execute anybody, you know. Come on!”
When they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, he was sitting sad and lonely and, as they came nearer, Alice heard that he was sighing as if his heart would break.[144] She pitied him deeply. “What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, “Well, he hasn’t got any sorrow, you know. Come on!”
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
“This young lady,” said the Gryphon, “wants to know your history.”
“I’ll tell it to her,” said the Mock Turtle: “sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.” So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, “I don’t see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn’t begin.” But she waited patiently.
“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a real Turtle.”
“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on after a very long pause, “we went to school in the sea. We had the best teachers – in fact, we went to school every day – ”
“I’VE been to a day-school, too,” said Alice. “We learned French and music as extras.[145]”
“And washing?” asked the Mock Turtle.
“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly.
“Ah! Then your school wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.
“I couldn’t afford[146] to learn washing.” said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
“Then what did you learn?” asked Alice.
“Well, there was Mystery,[147]” the Mock Turtle replied, “ – Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography.[148] An old master taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.[149]”
“What was THAT like?” said Alice.
“Well, I can’t show it you myself,” the Mock Turtle said: “I’m too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.”
“Had no time,” said the Gryphon.
“And how many hours a day did you have lessons?” said Alice.
“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so on.”
“What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice.
“That’s the reason why they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked: “because they lessen[150] from day to day.”
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over[151] a little before asking “Then was the eleventh day a holiday?”
“Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle.
“And what was on the twelfth?” Alice went on eagerly.
“That’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted, “tell her something about the games now.”
Chapter 10. The Lobster Quadrille
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply again. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two he couldn’t. At last the Mock Turtle went on with tears running down his cheeks.
“You have not lived much under the sea, so you have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!” said the Mock Turtle.
“It must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice timidly.
“Would you like to see a little of it?” asked the sad creature.
“Very much,” said Alice.
“Come, let’s try the first figure![152]” said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. “We can do without[153] lobsters, you know. Who shall sing?”
“Oh, YOU sing,” said the Gryphon. “I’ve forgotten the words.”
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, while the Mock Turtle sang very slowly and sadly. The dance was long and dull. So Alice felt very glad when it was over at last and she said, “Thank you, it’s a very interesting dance to watch.”
Suddenly the Gryphon said, “Come, let’s hear some of YOUR adventures.”
“I could tell you my adventures – beginning from this morning,” said Alice a little timidly: “but it’s no use[154] going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
“Explain all that,” demanded the Mock Turtle.
“No, no! The adventures first,” said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: “explanations take such a long time.”
So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it at first because the two creatures came so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so wide, but she gained courage and went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet all the time.
Then the Mock Turtle said thoughtfully. “I would like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.” And he looked at the Gryphon.
“Stand up and repeat ‘TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,’[155]” said the Gryphon.
“I could as well be at school now,[156]” thought Alice. However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she didn’t think what she was saying, so the words were very strange: —
“It is the voice of the Lobster;
I