“It’s – it’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice near her. She was walking near the White Rabbit, who was looking anxiously into her face.
“Very,” said Alice: “ – where’s the Duchess?”
“Hush! Hush![125]” said the Rabbit in a low tone. He looked anxiously around and whispered into Alice’s ear “She will be executed.[126]”
“What for?” said Alice.
“Did you say “What a pity!”?” the Rabbit asked.
“No, I didn’t,” said Alice: “I don’t think it’s a pity. I said “What for?””
“She boxed the Queen’s ears[127] – ” the Rabbit began. Alice laughed. “Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. “The Queen will hear you! You see, she came late, and the Queen said – ”
“Get to your places!” shouted the Queen very loudly and the game began. Alice had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life: the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes and the arches were made of soldiers.
The main difficulty for Alice was to[128] use her flamingo: when she was going to hit the hedgehog with its head, it looked up in her face with such a puzzled expression that she began laughing; when she was ready to begin again the hedgehog was crawling away. So Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was really a very difficult game.
The players all played at once without waiting for each other, quarrelling all the time, and fighting for the hedgehogs; very soon the Queen became furious and shouted “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” every minute.
Alice began thinking how to get away. Suddenly she noticed something curious in the air. Soon she understood it was a grin of the Cheshire Cat.
“How are you getting on?[129]” said the Cat as soon as his mouth appeared.
Alice waited till the whole head appeared, put down her flamingo, and began to tell the Cat about the game. The Cat probably thought a head was enough, so no more of him appeared.[130]
“How do you like the Queen?” said the Cat in a low voice.
“Not at all,” said Alice: “she’s so – ” Just then she noticed that the Queen was behind her, listening: so she went on, “ – likely to win,[131] that it’s not interesting to finish the game.”
The Queen smiled and moved on.
“Who ARE you talking to?” said the King, coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.
“It’s a friend of mine[132] – a Cheshire Cat,” said Alice: “allow me to introduce it.”
“I don’t like the look of it,” said the King: “however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.”
“I don’t,” the Cat remarked.
“Don’t be rude,” said the King, “and don’t look at me like that!” He stood behind Alice as he spoke.
“A cat may look at a king,[133]” said Alice. “I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.”
“Well, it must be removed,[134]” said the King very decidedly and called the Queen.
The Queen knew only one way. “Off with his head!” she said, without even looking.
“I’ll bring the executioner myself,” said the King, and hurried away.
Alice decided to go back and watch the game. When she caught her flamingo there were no hedgehogs or arches around. So she went back to talk with her friend a little more.
When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to see a large crowd around him.
Alice could only say “He belongs to the Duchess: ask HER about him.”
“She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner: “bring her here.” And the executioner went off.
At that moment the Cat’s head began fading away[135] and when the executioner was back with the Duchess, it had disappeared completely.
So the King and the executioner began looking for it while all the others went back to the game.
Chapter 9. The Mock Turtle’s Story
“You can’t imagine how glad I am to see you again, my dear!” said the Duchess when she and Alice walked off together.
Alice was very glad to see her so pleasant, and she thought to herself that perhaps only the pepper had made her so angry when they met in the kitchen.
“When I’M a Duchess,[136]” she said to herself, (but not in a very hopeful tone), “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup is good without it.”
She quite forgot about the Duchess, and was a little frightened when she heard her voice close to her ear. “You’re thinking about something, my dear, and you forget to talk.”
Alice did not like very much to be so close to the Duchess: first, because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she put her chin on Alice’s shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she didn’t say anything.
“Are you wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist,” the Duchess said after a pause: “the reason is, I’m afraid of your flamingo.”
“HE can bite,” Alice replied.
“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is – ‘Birds of a feather flock together.[137]’”
“But mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.
“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess.
“It’s a mineral, I THINK,” said Alice.
“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who agreed to everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is – ”
“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who wasn’t listening, “it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like a vegetable, but it is.”
“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is – ”
But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess suddenly stopped talking and her arm began to tremble. Alice looked up and saw the Queen who was standing in front of them and frowning like a thunderstorm.
“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
“Now, you may choose,” shouted the Queen; “either you or your head must be off,[138] and immediately! Take your choice!”
The Duchess took her choice, and in a moment she was gone.[139]
“Let’s go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; Alice was too frightened to say a word, so she slowly followed