“Yes,” I said hoarsely and dully, as if it wasn’t my own voice. “What happened will change everything.”
My stomach growled unpleasantly, and we barely managed to eat a couple of crackers. Then, to distract myself, I grabbed the first book I could find from the shelf and began to read, stopping every minute to listen to the silence; however, I had grown accustomed to the hum of the lamps and the endless flickering of the lights. After a while, Sam started reading too, to kill the dragging minutes.
I scanned the sentences with my eyes, not understanding what was written. I looked at the letters but couldn’t read the words. My head hurt. A feeling of anxiety buzzed in my chest. Unnoticed by myself, I tapped my foot on the floor, tense. Time stretched on, and my emotions gradually dulled.
I spent the night in a state similar to oblivion. I remember how Katherine woke up a few times, how she had hysterics, and Sam and I tried to calm her down; how the light went out completely, and fear surged again. How I was afraid to open my eyes when those monsters started pounding on the door of the bookstore; how I sat, hugging my knees and trying not to cry. How distant sirens wailed above us. How the echoes of explosions resonated. How I wanted to run from this place. How Sam first slept while I kept watch, thinking I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. How Dort then took over my watch, and I lay on the floor, curled up, staring at one spot.
And I became that spot. A tiny grain of sand among billions of stars in the endless, cold sky.
And I didn’t know how long it had been before the anxious and painful sleep overcame me. I don’t remember when exhaustion overtook me so completely that it swallowed me into oblivion. I dreamed that I was running somewhere, and someone was chasing me, but I couldn’t see his face. I ran, not feeling the ground beneath my feet, stumbling, falling, getting back up. A mountain loomed in front of me, but I didn’t have the strength to reach it – I kept running and running, unable to move forward. I dreamed of the dead attacking the living… In the dream, I was sure those creatures were the dead. I dreamed of blood. Lots of blood. My hands were covered in someone else's blood. And I cried in my sleep. I cried uncontrollably, gasping, choking on my own tears. I pleaded for help, screamed into the sky, and got no answer. And I felt the pain tearing me apart from the inside… And I dreamed of snow. I lay on the ground, looking up at the gray sky, and large snowflakes fell on me. It was so cold that I couldn’t feel my body. But I felt something cold and slippery constricting my throat, like snakes. The snow fell. And the terrible fear…
I woke up suddenly, breathing heavily and quickly turning from my back to my side. My heart was pounding wildly. There was a dull thud at the door. Darkness. A monotonous echo. Helplessness.
“Sam?” I whispered, shivering uncontrollably and looking around. “Sam?!”
The guy appeared from behind the shelf, armed with a long mop. His hair was disheveled, his reddened eyes were inflamed.
“Shh,” he hissed. “They’re there. Four of them. And…” Sam swallowed the rest of the sentence. He couldn’t finish. There's no escaping reality.
I wanted to scream to drown out the external sounds, but I only nodded to Sam, sinking back down to the floor and staring up at the ceiling.
The realization of my own helplessness in the face of the circumstances was suffocating. There was a way out. The only way. And it led up, through the doors.
But outside, behind the glass, the infected were waiting for us. Were they even alive? It was impossible to survive with such wounds. Could it be that monsters from ancient legends and forgotten tales had emerged into our world? Could those terrifying creatures spoken of in the ominous prophecies of religious texts become reality? Ghosts from nightmares. Phantoms from the worn myths of distant icy lands. What else could those dreadful entities be? Madmen? Cannibals? Was it all just a harbinger of the impending end, as the Goddess Mother sang about in the scriptures?
All we could do was wait. And we didn’t even know what or who we were waiting for. Inaction clouded our minds, painting horrific images of the imminent future that awaited us. If it even existed for us. Who knew what was happening above right now?
We had come for materials, but had ended up in a trap. Why hadn’t the news from the past few weeks stopped us? Why hadn’t the widespread city closures scared us? Why had we taken it so lightly and let the seriousness pass us by? Why had we so easily pushed aside the memory of those patients in the hospital who bit, tore, and growled? Why had the people on the street become just like those patients?..
And most importantly.
Why hadn’t the Three disclosed the information about the Northern Plague? Why hadn’t they shed light on what was happening in the North and taken preemptive action?
Sam continued to stand a little way off, peering through the gaps between the bookshelves at the door. Holding the mop. Wearing a T-shirt with a caricatured monster. The absurdity and horror of the situation were overwhelming. Could anything be so funny when blood freezes in your veins?
What was happening had engulfed us completely, like a sudden wave knocking an unsuspecting person off their feet and throwing them onto the hot sand. It was hard to gather our thoughts and think everything through logically, but that was exactly what we needed to do. But could we?..
We were too scared. Too lost.
Snow was falling. Large flakes drifted down. Another dream, where there was only an endless white field and a gray sky… but the ground was soaked with blood.
I don’t know when I dozed off. I just fell into unconsciousness for a couple of hours – vague, blurred dreams woven from eerie visions and equally frightening memories – and when I opened my eyes again, hoping to see my room or, at the very least, the ceiling of the trailer, a groan of disappointment escaped my chest. For the first few seconds, I lay there, curled up in a ball, unable to summon the strength to get up. I heard Katherine speaking quietly to Sam.
Alienation. As if my body didn’t belong to me, as if the hours of captivity were not mine, not experienced by me, not lived through by me.
“What time is it?” I finally managed to say.
Katherine flinched, and Sam turned to look at me with concern.
“Almost eight,” the girl replied, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear; I nodded briefly as I sat up and glanced at Sam. “And… they’re gone.”
For a brief moment, I felt an overwhelming lightness, relief, and Katherine's naive words seemed to lift a weight off my shoulders. It was the fraction of a moment when I allowed myself to believe that the infected had left and that we could leave the store and finally escape this terrible place – deciding to do so was frightening, but waiting for an illusory help was even scarier – to step outside and finally find out what had really happened. Then I could forget this entire day, wipe the nightmare from my mind forever!
But such a bright and perfect fantasy suddenly frightened me. Even disoriented me. And a vague doubt gripped my lungs with panic. No one was washing the blood-stained floors. No one was going to work. No one was trying to save us. My back was already damp with sweat, and it took extraordinary effort to breathe in and out, trying to push away the confusion and think coldly.
I desperately wanted to hope that everything would soon return to normal. It had to return. I still believed that. And faith was the only thing we had left.
“Steph?” I flinched and looked at Sam. He must have called me more than once.
“We have to leave here. Now. While we have the chance,” I stated firmly.
“Leave?” Sam looked bewildered, and his voice was full of undeniable worry.
“What if they… are still out there?” Katherine clutched at the large wooden buttons of her jacket. “Help is supposed to come for us. Maybe we should wait?” She added with hope, but I shook my head stubbornly.
The exit seemed non-existent, the existence of the