“Now, it is a fact, gentlemen, as you may see for yourselves, that my hair is of a very full and rich tint, so that it seemed to me that I had a chance. So I ordered Vincent Spaulding to take me to the office. He was very happy to have a holiday, so we started off for the address that was given us in the advertisement.
“Mr. Holmes! From north, south, east, and west every man who had a shade of red in his hair had come into the City to answer the advertisement. Pope’s Court looked like a coster’s orange barrow. Every shade of colour they were-straw, lemon, orange, brick, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there were not many who had the real vivid flame-coloured tint. When I saw how many were waiting, I would have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would not hear of it. How he did it I could not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through the crowd, and right up to the steps which led to the office. There was a double stream upon the stair, some going up in hope, and some coming back dejected. Soon we found ourselves in the office.”
“Your experience has been a most entertaining one,” remarked Holmes, as his client paused and refreshed his memory with a huge pinch of snuff. “Please, continue your very interesting story.”
“There was nothing in the office but a couple of wooden chairs and a table, behind which sat a small man, with a head that was even redder than mine. He said a few words to each candidate as he came up, and then he always managed to find some fault in them which would disqualify them. Getting a vacancy did not seem to be such a very easy matter after all. However, when our turn came, the little man was much more favourable to me than to any of the others, and he closed the door as we entered.
“’This is Mr. Jabez Wilson,’ said my assistant, ’and he is willing to fill a vacancy in the League.’
“’And he is admirably suited for it,’ the other answered. ’He has every requirement. I cannot recall when I have seen anything so fine.’
“He took a step backwards and gazed at my hair until I felt quite bashful. Then suddenly he plunged forward, wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmly on my success.
“’It would be injustice to hesitate,’ said he. ’You will, however, I am sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution.’
“With that he seized my hair in both his hands, and tugged until I yelled with the pain.
“’Excuse me,’ said he. ’But we have to be careful, for we have twice been deceived by wigs and once by paint.’
“He stepped over to the window, and shouted through it at the top of his voice that the vacancy was filled. A groan of disappointment came up from below, and the fellows went away in different directions, until there was not a red head to be seen except my own and that of the manager.
“’My name,’ said he, ’is Mr. Duncan Ross, and I am myself one of the pensioners. Are you a married man, Mr. Wilson? Have you a family?’
“I answered that I had not.
“His face fell immediately.
“’Dear me!’ he said, gravely, ’that is very serious indeed! I am sorry to hear you say that. The fund was, of course, for the propagation and spread of the red-heads as well as for their maintenance. It is exceedingly unfortunate that you should be a bachelor.’
“My face lengthened at this, Mr. Holmes, for I thought that I was not to have the vacancy after all; but, after thinking it over for a few minutes, he said that it would be all right.
“’Don’t worry,’ said he, ’a man with such a head of hair as yours… When will you be able to enter upon your new duties?’
“’Well, it is a little awkward, for I have a business already,’ said I.
“’Oh, never mind about that, Mr. Wilson!’ said Vincent Spaulding. ’I should be able to look after that for you.’
“’What would be the hours?’ I asked.
“’Ten to two.’
“It would suit me very well to earn a little in the mornings. Besides, I knew that my assistant was a good man.
“’That would suit me very well,’ said I. ’And the pay?’
“’Is four pounds a week.’
“’And the work?’
“’Is purely nominal.’
“’What do you call purely nominal?’
“’Well, you have to be in the office, or at least in the building, the whole time. If you leave, you forfeit your whole position forever. The will is very clear upon that point.’
“’It’s only four hours a day, and I should not think of leaving,’ said I.
“’No excuse will avail,’ said Mr. Duncan Ross, ’neither sickness, nor business, nor anything else. There you must stay, or you lose everything.’
“’And the work?’
“’Is to copy out the “Encyclopaedia Britannica.” This is the first volume of it. You must find your own ink, pens, and paper, but we provide this table and chair. Will you be ready tomorrow?’
“’Certainly,’ I answered.
“’Then, good-bye, Mr. Jabez Wilson, and let me congratulate you once more on your important position.’
“I went home with my assistant, hardly knowing what to say or do, I was so pleased at my own good fortune.
“In the morning I bought a penny bottle of ink, and with a quill pen, and seven sheets of paper, I started off for Pope’s Court.
“Well, to my surprise and delight everything was as right as possible. The table was set out ready for me, and Mr. Duncan Ross was there to see that I am ready to work. Then he left me; but he would drop in from time to time to see that all was right with me. At two o’clock he locked the door of the office after me.
“This went on day after day, Mr. Holmes, and on Saturday the manager came in and gave me down four golden sovereigns for my week’s work. It was the same next week, and the same the week after. Every morning I was there at ten, and every afternoon I left at two. By degrees Mr. Duncan Ross took to coming in only once of a morning, and then, after a time, he did not come in at all. Of course, I never dared to leave the room for an instant, for I was not sure when he might come.
“Eight weeks passed away like this, and I had written about Abbots, and Archery, and Armour, and Architecture, and Attica. And then suddenly the whole business came to an end.”
“To an end?”
“Yes, sir. And no later than this morning. I went to my work as usual at ten o’clock, but the door was shut and locked, with a little square of cardboard hammered on to the middle of the panel with a tack. Here it is, and you can read for yourself.”
He held up a piece of white cardboard, about the size of a sheet of notepaper. It read in this fashion: —
“The Red-headed League is dissolved. Oct. 9, 1890.”
Sherlock Holmes and I burst out into a roar of laughter.
“I cannot see that there is anything very funny,” cried our client. “If you can do nothing better than laugh at me, I can go elsewhere.”
“No, no,” cried Holmes, shoving him back into the chair from which he had half risen. “There is, if you will excuse my saying so, something just a little funny about it. What steps did you take when you found the card upon the door?”
“I was staggered, sir. I did not know what to do. Then I called at the offices round, but none of them seemed to know anything about it. Finally, I went to the landlord, who was living on the ground floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of it. Then I asked him who Mr. Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.
“’Well,’