Planning A Wedding For Dummies. Sarah Lizabeth Barker

showers based on what your life looks like. For example, if you live in city A, your parents live in city B, and your partner’s parents live in city C, it’s appropriate to have three showers, with three different hosts, to include each group of people. Whether this is your first marriage or second, a shower is a wonderful time to bring your closest friends together to celebrate your future marriage.

      

Having multiple showers is common practice, so it’s important to speak to each host to avoid overlapping on the timing of the events. The bridal shower is typically held one to two months before your wedding day. I would suggest that all parties and showers are wrapped up by a month out from your big day. As we go through the planning process, you’ll see that there are a lot of last-minute i’s to dot and t’s to cross. If your parties are scheduled too close to your wedding day, you may be overwhelmed with your busy party schedule and the already long list of thank-you notes to send.

The bridal shower host can be someone from your bridal party, a close friend, or a relative. The host will take care of sending the invitations, cover the costs of the party, and make sure the party is a success. Be sure to discuss with each host how many people they feel comfortable having at the event. They are covering the financial costs of the shower, so check in with them first before you start planning the guest list.

      A paper invitation or digital invitation is appropriate for your shower. When your host designs the invitation, make sure to include the title, your name, date, time, location, RSVP information, and your registry. They will also collect the responses from your guests. Feel free to check in with them to see who will be attending your shower. The wedding day is so busy that your bridal showers are the perfect time to catch up with old friends — another opportunity to see those you love prior to the big day.

      Bridal showers are typically packed with games for your guests to enjoy. Those games are intended to be fun and give your guests a little insight into who you and your partner are as a couple. To avoid being completely embarrassed in front of some friends who have known you your entire life, reach out to the host and see what games they’re planning so that you’re prepared.

      

Enjoy a little time off from planning the wedding, wear your favorite sundress, and enjoy being pampered and celebrated. Being the bride is so much fun! Take time to stop and take it all in. It will go by fast, and each party is another piece of the pie in your wedding planning. Have several pieces!

Chapter 3

      Everyone Has a Budget

      IN THIS CHAPTER

      

Understanding what’s important to you and your budget

      

Determining what’s included in your budget

      

Navigating additional fees, tips, and gratuities

      Before you start researching your vendors, you need to determine what you have to spend. Let’s face it — weddings are expensive. That doesn’t mean you can’t have everything you want; it just means you need to be intentional with what you have to spend. Before you fall in love with an expensive photographer or design elaborate flower arrangements, it’s important to determine your budget.

      You’ve probably already checked the resources to determine a percentage of what each item should be in your overall budget. This is my biggest pet peeve in the wedding industry; those percentages were created to be a guide, but they are not yours. One thing that was forgotten when those standard percentages were created is you!

      That’s right — you decide what your budget will be. In this chapter, we’ll determine what’s most important to you, figure out who’s paying and what you have to spend, work out what your budget should include, and look at something often overlooked in the overall budget: additional fees and tips and gratuities.

      

Planning your budget doesn’t need to be stressful. Together we’re going to customize your plan and maximize your money. There’s no need to go into debt over your wedding. We’ll be smart in planning where your money needs to go, where you can save and where to splurge.

Knowing What’s Most Important to You

      I’m sure you have attended your friends’ weddings. What did you love? What did you dislike? Did you notice the fancy china? Do you remember what you ate? What color were the flowers? What did the linens look like? Did they have paper napkins or cloth napkins?

In Table 3-1, write in some of the things you loved about your friends’ weddings and some of the things you disliked. This will help you see how much you remember about other weddings you have attended. Focus on the details to help you determine your own loves and dislikes.

TABLE 3-1 Loves/Dislikes from Your Friends’ Weddings

Your Loves	Your Dislikes

      Looking over this list, are you surprised by how much you didn’t remember? I’m not. Now, if you just attended a wedding last week, chances are you remember a lot. But if it’s been over six months, you may have struggled to recall any of the details.

      The point in doing this is to remind yourself that, when you design your budget, no one will remember what they had to eat; they’ll only remember if it was good. No one will remember who your DJ is; they’ll only remember if they were entertaining. No one will remember if you had white polyester tablecloths or designer linens; they’ll only remember if the tables were covered.

Now it’s your turn. In Chapter 4, we’ll pick your top five vendor categories, but for now focus on what’s most important and least important to you on your wedding day. In Table 3-2, fill in the pieces that are most important to you when you think about your wedding day.

TABLE 3-2 Your Most Important/Least Important Parts of Your Wedding Day

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Most Important	Least Important