Are You Back?
You probably already realize that nicotine has enslaved you. On the smallest occasions, you need to light up. The body even starts to panic from a single thought of missing a chance to smoke. Or, once you get nervous, you immediately reach for a cigarette. Emotions change but cigarettes are always there for you. You’re addicted. You’re hooked.
And all of your attempts to convince yourself that you genuinely enjoy it have failed. You may, however, continue to claim that you do. It makes sense: you would not have smoked if you didn’t enjoy it.
But everything is not as it seems. We don’t like it, and we can’t like it. We are just trying to convince ourselves of that so we don’t look stupid in our own eyes, because we just can’t live without smokes. Even if we are well aware of the harm it does, we will still find numerous arguments in favor of smoking. If a doctor said that our lungs or legs would rot, and the next day we would die, that would not stop us from smoking.
It’s rare for a smoker to quit even after having a heart attack. But even those who do start puffing again after a while. Or, they don’t smoke, but live under stress, dreaming of a cigarette.
And how many times did people tell this steady smoker that he would end up with a heart attack? Did it stop him? That’s the kind of itch I’m talking about. All you care about is starting a cigarette and putting everything else aside. And every time I realized the negative consequences, I felt like a wuss. Chronic coughing, shortness of breath, and migraines plagued me. I never had the energy to do anything after smoking a cigarette. I would even disregard the ill effects such as nausea or migraines, and just go smoke. For a long time, I blamed myself for smoking, but I couldn’t help myself.
Just don’t stop there, thinking: «I’m not coughing or suffering from headaches. My health is good. I feel great. I’m full of energy. I certainly don’t need to quit. I also like it. I have no reason to quit, and I have enough money. I’m a happy person.» I fully understand you. Coughing and pain were not enough to make me quit smoking. I thought I was insanely happy with cigarettes.
Until it hit me. I was taking another poll asking my subscribers what topic I should write a post about or go on air with. Probably for the thousandth time, they suggested that I talk about how to quit and sort everything out. «You can deal with any thinking pattern. Help us here too,» they told me.
I hesitated a long time before I sat down and dwelled on it. Even though I was dealing with health and financial issues, I was still convinced that I didn’t want to quit. After all, I really enjoyed it. «Cigarettes are indescribable bliss. In no way should I give up smoking and deprive myself of the joy and satisfaction it brings.» I was dead wrong.
I’m eternally grateful to my followers for having guided me to pay attention to this. I started writing the contents of the book, planning its structure. It was enough to turn me into a lifelong non-smoker. I’m here to bring my experience and knowledge to the table. It seems like I can finally see what I’ve been deliberately hiding from myself.
At first, I was going from one extreme to another. On the one hand, I wanted to quit smoking and blamed myself for not doing it. On the other hand, I didn’t want to, because I liked it so much. I didn’t have peace of mind. Anyway, I’d always choose to smoke because it was my greatest pleasure. I didn’t want to quit. But, deep down, I realized that, in addition to the detrimental effect on my health, it also made my breath and clothes smell terrible. Although I often said to myself, «I’m different. Other smokers may stink, but I’m an exception! Because I can’t smell smoke on my fingers.»
I even realized that my body was dying, although I didn’t feel it (neither do all smokers). Our immune system stops reacting to nicotine and quickly gets used to self-poisoning. The system disables receptors that transmit signals such as nausea, vomiting, and dizziness. And these signals indicate that every cigarette leads to irreversible consequences in our body. I was aware of that… but since I don’t see this, it means that everything is under control! I’m different. I can avoid committing suicide.
Self-deception is a great thing. Just like in that joke, when a man was falling off his mistress’ balcony and saying that he would give up all his bad habits if he survived. «Oh God, there’s no limit to human resourcefulness in critical situations!» he said after surviving. I was exactly like that. When smoking caused any discomfort, I said to myself, «I’m done. I don’t want to smoke anymore.» But once the emotions were gone, I resumed smoking. I blamed myself for being weak and lacking willpower. My brain came up with millions of reasons why I wanted to smoke to get rid of remorse.
But when I had an epiphany, I realized that I wasn’t a wuss and that my willpower was fine, too. Willpower plays no role at all. If you want to be a free person without addiction, just like me, you should forget about it. You can put energy into fighting something else. But fighting an illusion is a losing battle.
I dare say you’re not a wuss either, and everything is okay with your willpower and intelligence. One doesn’t start smoking because he is less smart or weak-willed. A smoker’s intellectual abilities in no way differ from a non-smoker’s. Anyone can fall into this trap. As a drug, nicotine spares no one.
I’m writing it to debunk the myth and ingrained belief that «I can’t quit smoking because I’m weak and spineless,» or something like that. It’s a myth. You keep smoking for very different reasons.
You’re a perfectly normal and sane person, just like me. Although one can doubt my sanity, it definitely has nothing to do with cigarettes. But that’s a whole different story.
I’m reluctant to bore you with how dangerous and harmful nicotine is. Or the fact that each cigarette contains about 50 deadly poisonous carcinogens (substances that contribute to the formation and multiplication of malignant tumors). Even if we know we’re going to die tomorrow, we still won’t quit smoking. After all, it itches too hard to give up this drug. We already know more about its danger than non-smokers, but we have developed immunity to this information. Why spoil our mood? It’s beyond our control anyway.
Yes, we are slowly dying. 80% of the time, we or our family will get cancer. And it doesn’t matter who smokes. Second-hand smoking kills too. Passive smokers (children, relatives) inhale the smoke. We have tons of problems: with the people around us, our health, money (we have to spend a lot on cigarettes). But still, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Indeed, we do not intend to kill our children, partners, parents, or ourselves. We sincerely hope that nothing bad is going to happen to our relatives or us. And some may even be inclined to believe the myth that everyone is healthy. It must be propaganda. Cigarettes can’t be that dangerous to our health or cause death.
Or, what’s even worse, some people have an immature attitude towards it. «We are all going to die someday. Why should we deny ourselves something? We live once and must try everything, come what may.» At the same time, everyone concerns about future: «How will I survive without money? What will happen tomorrow? What if I die?» But cigarettes don’t seem scary. Because we just can’t quit. We fail to. We have no choice but to put up with it and make excuses since we can’t quit. After all, there have been plenty of unsuccessful attempts to quit. We learned a long time ago that it’s impossible to quit. We just have to live with it and believe in myths.
Some of the focus group participants even told me, «Nelli, you haven’t reinvented the wheel. There is no point in reading this book since I won’t find anything new. I can’t quit. I’ve tried myriad times. It’s impossible.»
I’ve