The capacity to feel embarrassed is not only an indicator of having internalized the generalized other but also a uniquely human outcome of our role-taking ability (Hewitt and Schulman 2011; Koschate-Reis 2009). Some children face challenges to their self from teasing and bullying that result in fear, shame, embarrassment, and guilt. These feelings affect the bullied child’s sense of self and can influence the self into adulthood.
As children grow, they identify with new in-groups, such as a neighborhood, a college sorority, or the military. We learn new ideas and expand our understanding. Some individuals ultimately come to think of themselves as part of the global human community. Thus, for many individuals, the social world expands through socialization. However, some individuals never develop this expanded worldview, remaining narrowly confined and drawing lines between themselves and others who are different. Such narrow boundaries often result in prejudice against others.
Thinking Sociologically
Who are you? Write down 15 to 20 roles or attributes that describe who you are. How many of these items are characteristics associated with the Me—nouns such as son, mother, student, and employee? Which of the items are traits or attributes—adjectives such as shy, sensitive, lonely, selfish, and daring? How do you think each of these was learned or incorporated into your conception of your self?
Socialization Throughout the Life Cycle
In all societies, individuals move from one stage to the next in the socialization process. Socialization is a lifelong process with many small and large passages. Infants begin the socialization process at birth. In childhood, one rite of passage is a child’s first day at school—entrance into the meso-level institution of education. This turning point marks a child’s entry into the larger world. The standards of performance are now defined by the child’s teachers, peers, friends, and others outside the home.
Adolescence is an important stage in Western industrial and postindustrial societies, but this stage is far from universal. Indeed, it is largely an invention of complex industrial societies over the past 2 centuries, characterized by extensive periods of formal education and dependency on parents (Papalia, Martorell, and Feldman 2014). Adolescence is, in a sense, a structurally produced mass identity crisis because Western societies lack clear rites of passage for adolescents. Teens come to view themselves as a separate and distinct group with their own culture, slang vocabulary, clothing styles, and opinions about appropriate sexual behavior and forms of recreation. Some social scientists today argue that adolescence is continuing into the mid-20s as young people struggle to enter adulthood, remaining economically and socially semidependent (Roberts 2018; Stetka 2017).
Much of our adult years are spent in work and home life, including marriage and parenting roles for many. It is not surprising, then, that graduation from one’s final alma mater (whether it be high school, college, or graduate school) and acceptance of one’s first full-time job serve as rites of passage into adulthood in modern societies.
Most social scientists emphasize the importance of rites of passage—celebrations or public recognitions when individuals shift from one status to another—naming ceremonies, school graduations, marriages, and retirements. The importance of this shift resides in how others come to perceive the individual differently, the different expectations that others hold for the person, and changes in how the person sees himself or herself.
Thinking Sociologically
Find someone who has grown up in a different culture and ask her or him about rites of passage from adolescence to adulthood where she or he was raised. How are the patterns similar to or different from your own?
Even the retired and elderly members of society are constantly undergoing socialization and resocialization in the process of developing their sense of self. The type of society influences the socialization experience of the elderly and how they carry out their roles, as well as their status in society. Consider the changes that have taken place in the lifetimes of those born before 1945, as described by one elder:
We were born before television, before polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, plastic contact lenses, Frisbees, and the Pill. . . . We never heard of artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings. For us time sharing means togetherness—not computers and condominiums. (Grandpa Junior 2006)
The elderly are vitally important to the ongoing group in more settled agricultural societies. They are the founts of wisdom and carry group knowledge, experiences, and traditions valued in societies where little change takes place. In industrial and postindustrial countries that continually undergo rapid changes, the wisdom of the elderly is not as relevant. Yet the number of elderly people is growing rapidly as medical science keeps people alive longer, diets improve, retirees have more resources, and diseases are brought under control. Average life expectancy in all of Europe’s 28 countries was 81 years in 2016, with a gender gap favoring women by 5.4 years (Eurostat 2018). The average life expectancy in the United States for those born in 2017 was 76 years for men and 81 years for women.
In modern systems, social participation by the elderly often drops after retirement. Retirement is a rite of passage to a new status, like that of marriage or parenthood, for which there is little preparation. As a result, retired people sometimes feel a sense of uselessness when they abruptly lose their occupational status. Retirees in Western societies generally have many years of life yet to live. The most socially satisfied retirees tend to develop hobbies, attend classes, enjoy sports, volunteer their time, travel, or have new jobs they can pursue after they retire. The point is that even your grandparents are going through a period of socialization, as are parents entering the empty nest stage.
▲ Some retirees, rather than taking up hobbies, decide on a part-time job, like this man who enjoys people and is now a greeter at Walmart. Others take on a postretirement job because they need the income.
© J.D. Pooley/Stringer/Getty Images
Dying is the final stage of life (Kübler-Ross 1997). Death holds different meanings in different cultures: passing into another life, a time of judgment, a waiting for rebirth, or a void and nothingness. In some religious groups, people work hard or do good deeds because they believe that they will be rewarded in an afterlife or with rebirth to a better status in the next life on earth. Thus, beliefs about the meaning of death can affect how people live their lives and how they cope with dying and death. Each stage of the life cycle involves socialization into new roles in the social world. Many social scientists have studied these developmental stages and contributed insights into what happens at each stage (Clausen 1986; Gilleard and Higgs 2015; Handel et al. 2007; Papalia, Feldman, and Martorell 2015; Piaget 1989; Putt 2014). For example, some sociologists focus their research on the study of old age (gerontology) and death and dying.
Death ends the lifelong process of socialization, a process of learning social rules and roles and adjusting to them (see the photos of death rituals on the next page). When an individual has passed on, society continues. New members are born, are socialized into the social world, pass through roles once held by others, and eventually give up those roles to younger members. Cultures provide guidelines for each new generation to follow. The social world perpetuates itself and outlives the individuals who populate it.
▲ Death rituals differ