In the process of symbolic interaction, we take the actions of others and ourselves into account. We may blame, encourage, praise, punish, or reward ourselves. An example would be a basketball player missing the basket because the shot was poorly executed and thinking, What did I do to miss that shot? I’m better than that ! Reflexive behavior, being able to look at oneself and one’s behaviors as though from the outside looking in, includes the simple act of taking mental notes or mentally talking to one’s self.
Parts of the Self
The self is composed of two distinct but closely related parts according to the symbolic interaction perspective—dynamic parts in interplay with one another (Mead [1934] 1962). The most basic element of the self is what symbolic interactionist George Herbert Mead refers to as the I, the spontaneous, unpredictable, impulsive, and largely unorganized aspect of the self. The I initiates behavior without considering the possible social consequences. We can see this at work in the “I want it now” behavior of a baby or a toddler. Cookie Monster, on the children’s television program Sesame Street, illustrates the I in every child, gobbling cookies at every chance and insisting on more now.
The I continues as part of the self throughout life but is controlled or tempered by the social expectations that surround individuals. In developmental stages from early childhood on, humans become increasingly influenced by interactions with others who instill society’s rules. Children develop the ability to see their self as others see them (role-taking), allowing them to critique the behavior initiated by the I. Mead called this reflective capacity of the self the Me. The Me is the part of the self that has learned the rules of society through interaction and role-taking, and it controls the I and its desires. Just as the I initiates the act, the Me gives direction to the act. In a sense, the Me channels the impulsive I in an acceptable manner according to societal rules and restraints yet meets the needs of the I as best it can. When we stop ourselves just before saying something and think to ourselves, I’d better not say that, it is our Me monitoring and controlling the I. Notice that the Me requires the ability to take the role of the other, to anticipate the other’s reaction.
Thinking Sociologically
For college students there are many temptations that tantalize and lure the I. What are some of these temptations, and how does the Me control them (or not)?
Stages in the Development of the Self
The process of developing a social self occurs gradually and in stages from birth to death. Mead identified three critical stages—(1) the imitation stage, (2) the play stage, and (3) the game stage—each of which requires the uniquely human ability to engage in role-taking (Mead [1934] 1962).
In the imitation stage, children under 3 years old prepare for role-taking by observing others and imitating their behaviors, sounds, and gestures. The play stage involves a child, usually from 3 to 5, being able to see things (role-take) from the perspective of one person at a time: simple role-taking or play-acting. Listen to children who are 3 to 5 years old play together. You will notice that they spend most of their time telling each other what to do. One of them will say something like, “You be the mommy, and José can be the daddy, and Zoe, you be the dog. Now you say, ‘Good morning, Dear,’ and I’ll say, ‘How did you sleep?’ and Zoe, you scratch at the door like you want to go out.” They will talk about their little skit for 15 minutes and then enact it, with the actual enactment taking perhaps 1 minute. Small children mimic or imitate role-taking based on what they have seen as they learn and practice future roles (Handel, Cahill, and Elkin 2007).
Society and its rules are initially represented by significant others—parents, guardians, relatives, siblings, or important individuals whose primary and sustained interactions are especially influential for the individual. That is why much of the play stage involves role-taking based on these significant people in the child’s life. The child does not yet understand the complex relations and multiple role players in the social world outside the immediate family. Children may have a sense of how their mommy or daddy sees them, but children are not yet able to comprehend how they are seen by the larger social world. Lack of role-taking ability is apparent when children say inappropriate things, such as, “Why are you so fat?”
The third stage in the process of developing a social self, the game stage, is when a child develops the ability to take the roles of multiple others concurrently and to conform to societal expectations. The child goes beyond the significant other, such as a parent, to value the opinion of all peers or the expectations of the community.
Have you ever watched a team of young children play T-ball (a pre–Little League baseball game in which the children hit the ball from an upright rubber device that holds the ball) or observed a soccer league made up of 6-year-olds? If so, you have seen Mead’s point illustrated vividly. In soccer (or football), 5- or 6-year-old children will not play their positions despite constant urging and cajoling by coaches. They all run after the ball, with little sense of their interdependent positions. Likewise, a child in a game of T-ball may pick up a ball that has been hit, turn to the coach, and say, “Now what do I do with it?” Most still do not quite grasp throwing it to first base, and the first-base player may actually have left the base to run for the ball. It can be hilarious for everyone except the coach when a hit that goes 7 feet turns into a home run because everyone is scrambling for the ball.
Prior to the game stage, the vision of the whole process is not possible. When children enter the game stage at about age 7 or 8, they are developmentally able to play the roles of various positions and enjoy a complex game. Each child learns what is expected and the interdependence of roles because she or he is able, at this stage, to respond to the expectations of several people simultaneously (Hewitt and Shulman 2011; Meltzer 1978). This allows the individual to coordinate his or her activity with others.
In moving from the play stage to the game stage, children’s worlds expand from family and day care to neighborhood playmates, school, and other organizations. This process gradually builds up a composite of societal expectations that the child learns from family, peers, and other organizations, what Mead refers to as the generalized other. The child learns to internalize the expectations of society—the generalized other—over and above the expectations of any significant others. Behavior comes to be governed by abstract rules (“no running outside of the baseline” or “no touching the soccer ball with your hands unless you are the goalie”) rather than guidance from and emotional ties to a significant other. Children become capable of moving into new social situations such as school, organized sports, and (eventually) the workplace to function with others in both routine and novel interactions.
▲ Very young children who play soccer do not understand the role requirements of games. They all—including the goalie—want to chase after the ball. Learning to play positions and understand the roles in a complex situation is a critical step in the future socialization of the young child.
© iStock.com/wind-moon
The common human experience of feeling embarrassed illustrates how the generalized other becomes internalized into one’s conception of self. Making an inappropriate remark at a party or having another call undue attention to one’s appearance can cause embarrassment. Feeling embarrassed may occur when one violates a social norm and then thinks about how others view that behavior. According to this role-taking view, we see ourselves as objects from the standpoint of others, and we judge ourselves accordingly. Very young children,