In my dream.
It’s hard to explain.
I started to feel a little calmer
but then it occurred to me:
When I dream, I wake up and find out
the dream is just an illusion.
This is not illusion.
Then let me see you again.
And there she was.
Smiling.
I blurted out
You have really nice eyes
(I’d never seen anything quite like them
large beautiful dark liquid eyes
eyes that could make you forget your own name.)
Thank you
she said. She was smiling.
Can you see me?
I said.
Of course.
And?
Well, I chose you, didn’t I?
What do you mean?
I built the bridge so I could be with you.
Ah, the bridge. Ready to explain?
Not yet.
That’s when I woke up.
It was six a.m. according to my clock
and there was sunlight
and the dream was fresh in my head.
I was alone in my room of course
but now convinced she was not real.
Rude Awakening
Nutjob after all. Not lucky
I concluded.
Time to see a shrink.
Get medicated maybe.
Return to reality.
And then, her voice:
You don’t really want to do that
do you?
You really can read my thoughts?
Yes.
I don’t know if I like that.
Sorry.
Why were you in my dream?
I thought I might be able
to get closer
to you.
I thought
your barriers might be down.
Right.
But
dreams are kind of messy and confusing.
And private.
But it wasn’t just that.
I’d felt invaded
or, what’s the word?
Violated.
Maybe you should stay out of my dreams.
Really?
Really.
Okay. Sorry.
Now I could see her again in my head.
Rebecca
I said out loud.
Do you want me to leave you alone?
No.
The no surprised me.
I want to get to know you
but
I’m gonna need some privacy.
I don’t understand.
Well, I
we
um, we all
have a lot of weird thoughts
kicking around in our heads.
I’ve noticed.
It doesn’t all make sense.
Can we establish some rules?
You mean barriers?
I mean boundaries.
She looked hurt.
How can I explain?
I don’t want anyone, even you
reading my every thought
knowing my feelings
being part of my every opinion
listening in on my inner conversations
everything that rattles around in my chaotic
jumble of thoughts.
Watching everything I do.
Thank you for explaining
she said.
So how can we make this work?
Maybe you can come up with a mechanism
a word.
You say the word and I leave.
You say another word and I come back.
What can I say when I want some, um, privacy?
I asked.
Vega. Say Vega.
Why that?
I don’t know. It’s the name of a star.
Okay. When I say Vega, you give me some space?
Space. Sure.
I laughed and said
What happens after Vega, stays in Vega.
What?
Sorry. Stupid joke.
I think she might have laughed
or pretended to laugh.
Okay then. What if I say
or think your name
and you come back?
Okay
She said.
Try it. Try the word.
Vega.
And she was gone without a trace.
Rebecca?
I said it out loud
feeling some powerful tug inside my chest
just by saying her name.
But she didn’t return.
Vega
After she went away
I decided not
to say that word
again
ever.
And Now You Get to Meet My Mom
This required a walk downtown
to her store:
Spiritual Solutions.
The little bell rang when I arrived.
Fiona, my mom, was showing a tray of amethyst crystals
to a customer.
Her face lit up like the sun when she saw me.
Declan