Faith in the Journey. Michael Cohen

of my best friends, and I was taking in his wisdom. He was right about letting go of the past; Becky was old news. I guess I knew I liked Jana but was unsure of her feelings toward me. That is something that can drive a man nuts. I didn’t tell Eric that I was meeting up with Jana later in the day. She had asked before break to spend some time together. I didn’t know the reason, but I was not going to turn it down. I had picked up that she was at least interested, based on some of the looks I get from her, the stares, and even the quick look away when we made eye contact. I will admit the idea of knowing more about her left me feeling excited.

      When I did meet up with her later, it was at the church of St. Mary’s. I walked up to the doors and went inside. I could see that people were setting up for Christmas Eve mass. I saw Mr. Carter up front talking over the plans for mass tonight. I will admit, it felt weird to be in the church. I mean I was here for the play, but that was well for that, and this was just church now. I looked around for Jana, trying to figure out why I was meeting her here. My eyes looked around and took moments to see how the place was looking all Christmas. Then I spotted the long brown hair that was in ponytail. She was walking toward Mr. Carter. I waited a second before my walk toward them.

      She turned her head and spotted me. Jana’s eyes had a way of melting my tough shield down. I said hello to Jana as we met. She turned to Mr. Carter and said, “See you later, Dad, going with Mike for a while.” He replied okay and went back to his thing. I had a moment when I had to think about it, that Jana was the daughter of Mr. Carter. Oh boy, it never crossed my mind, something I always said in tribute to my favorite show Quantum Leap. Jana didn’t quite tell me what we were doing, so I was just following her.

      We walked around to the back of the church and to the side building. This was the event building where they hold weddings, funerals, and parties. Sometimes they hold holiday events too for the kids. The place was built a couple of years ago, so much of it was still rather new. We walked into the building, through a short hallway and into the main room. There were some decorations on a nearby table. Jana asked if I mind helping finishing up the Christmas decorations, and it would let us spend time chatting to help pass the time. I was not sure I was up to doing this, but then again, alone time with a girl was not something I let go by, and I know that sounds bad, but it’s more about my thoughts about being judged. Becky really did a number on me. But I sat down, helped Jana grab some of the stuff, and started to work on them.

      It was really stuff that was drawn up but not cut out yet. Some of it had to be put together. For a bit, there was no talking between us. The ice was broken when Jana then started with small talk. She asked where I was from. I asked where she was from. I learned in that time that she was born in Portland, Oregon. Her dad who grew up in Cleveland and was a pastor at a church in Portland when he met Mrs. Carter. They got married and had Jana. She was five when her dad got the call to lead St. Mary’s church. I told her about my mom, the crazy life before, and nothing much more since. My parents grew up in Asbury Park, both going to St. Rose high school, where they met and fell in love. Dad went to Seton Hall U, and Mom, well, she had me. Then we started to talk about favorite things. I love chocolate ice cream, and Jana liked strawberry, but she also liked mint chocolate chip, which is my second favorite too. We worked and talked about many things we liked. I explained my love for sports, and she told me her love for helping people. She enjoyed gospel and Christian music, and I was more of rock, heavy metal, and some pop music. Country music found its way in both of us too, which is interesting, since my mom loved, and I mean loved, country music.

      As we finished up the stuff and all things looked good, Mr. Carter walked on in. He was checking up on us, but only to see how far we had gone on the decorations. We talked a bit, and I was asked if I was coming tonight. I shook my head. I don’t know. When he left, Jana asked the hard question. Why didn’t I want to enjoy the birth of Christ and all the love he gives. I let it out that I didn’t understand the whole God thing.

      Soon as I was finished with my words, Jana had pulled out a Bible from a stand. She asked if I had read it, and I responded with no. Before she asked, I told her that I understood who he is but not the why he doesn’t fix stuff. That is the age-old question that all people either say or know the answer. Jana took it a different way. “Do you want to be in control?” she asked.

      I said no back.

      “Well, God is life and love, but he doesn’t tell you want to do, doesn’t control your life. He only gives you a choice. That choice is to do right by people or to do wrong. It’s not hard to see the good, to be the good, to be a light that helps people in their dark times. Maybe God is letting you know now that it’s times to be more than you thought you ever believe,” Jana said with a convincing voice. She did give me something to think about more. I have had a heart that tends to lead me to be nice, to be helpful, and to treat everyone like a brother and sister.

      Somehow, Jana got my head thinking about God in a different way. I know Eric would be pleased that at least I could see myself wanting to know more. Jana asked, “Do you want to talk more about God and Jesus?” I looked at the clock that was up on the wall and saw it was almost 4:00 p.m.

      “I guess it doesn’t hurt to learn more about it, but I had to be on the road at five for dinner,” I said in respond. So Jana and I talked about God. I learned much that time, more than I could ever believe. Jana talked so well; it was as if she was a teacher but so right on the money with her speeches. With Eric’s voice in my head, I thought, Oh boy, I really like Jana now, so much that I want to ask her out.

      Before I could say anything, five came around, and I had to go. As I walked with her out of the building, I thought about mass that night. It would be good to go and a chance to see Jana again. So I told her that I would be there. Jana was excited. I felt her hand squeeze my hand, and as for a moment, we held hands. That soft hand feeling set an energy through my body that felt so good. We said see you later, and off I rode home. I ran my bike hard as I could home.

      When I got there, I threw down my bike as I hopped off to hit the front door. My dad had dinner ready to go, and his suit was hanging up for tonight. We sat down and talked about the day. I said, “Dad, I think I am going with you to mass tonight.” He dropped his fork and looked at me with a surprising face. For a moment, he couldn’t believe it, but I explained more about the time with Jana.

      My dad smiled and said, “Thank you, son, your mom would be happy to hear this.” Yes, Mom, was a church person, but she also believed in God in a way that got my dad to be a follower of Jesus. I almost felt a warm hug around me, not knowing that could be Mom. It is strange at times when out of the blue you feel something that is not there but could be. We ate dinner, and my dad helped me find a suit to go with his.