ATTORNEY His job?
VISITOR No.
ATTORNEY His French?
VISITOR No, his English!
3.9
ʿĪsā ibn Hishām said:33 I found this terse and vacuous conversation boring, so I took advantage of the guard’s entry to leave my hiding place and return to my companion, the Pāshā. I found a lawyer’s agent beside him. He had come over and was talking to him. So I stood at a distance. Here is some of what I heard him say:
AGENT You should realize that the lawyer can direct the judiciary exactly as he wishes, punishing and acquitting anyone according to whim. The members of the Parquet, the courts, and judges merely follow his instructions. No decision can be made unless he says so and no verdict can be reached without his instructions. You’re a stranger here, someone who deserves sympathy and forbearance. Mere human decency forbids me to let you fall into the clutches of some low-class lawyers who regularly use deceitful and crafty methods and make false promises that raise all kinds of hopes, and all that merely to rob people of their money. My colleague on the other hand is honest and reliable, a well-known man of principle who is highly regarded by princes and government officials alike. He’s the inspector’s friend, the counselor’s companion, the judge’s intimate companion, the attorney’s confidant, and the prince’s agent. If only you could see him just once, my dear Sir, when he meets them for a late-night chat. You would immediately notice the informal atmosphere they share as they enjoy themselves in each other’s company and watch him as he eats and drinks with them, chats and jokes, debates and gambles. You would then be convinced that every request he makes is granted and no one would refuse to do what he orders. As a result, the guilty man can be innocent in accordance with his wishes, and the innocent man guilty. So tell me, how much can you afford to pay in advance?
PĀSHĀ I know nothing about advance or arrears. My friend didn’t mention this powerful arbiter you describe. So once I’ve asked him about it—
AGENT (interrupting) There’s no need to ask anyone! Here comes the lawyer now.
3.10
(The Agent greets the Lawyer with the lavish respect due to a prince. As he clears a path toward the Pāshā, he is whispering in the Lawyer’s ear.)
LAWYER (raising his voice) I cannot possibly take on anybody else’s brief these days. I have piles of work and a colossal number of cases. There’s no time left to eat and drink. (Maybe the truth of the matter was that he had nothing left at all, not just time.) How can you expect me to take on your friend’s brief in such a trifling case, when I’ve already turned down five major cases this very morning?
AGENT For humanitarian reasons and in the name of the sanctity of chivalry and your inborn sympathy and pity for the weak, I beg you to allow one of your office staff to handle this case. Even if you cannot demean yourself so far as to handle it yourself, all that’s needed is the influence that your name brings to the court.
LAWYER Out of regard for you and sympathy for your friend, I can see no objection.
(The Lawyer shakes hands with the Pāshā, then turns away and leaves.)
AGENT (to the Pāshā) Come on, that’ll be twenty pounds.
PĀSHĀ I haven’t a single dirham on me.
AGENT Then give me a check from a relative or acquaintance.
PĀSHĀ I don’t understand what you mean. Go away, I’m fed up with you!
AGENT How can I leave when you have just reached an agreement with the Lawyer right in front of me?
PĀSHĀ I made no agreement with anyone. Go away!
AGENT How can you possibly deny shaking hands with the Lawyer and reaching an agreement with him?
PĀSHĀ How can anyone tolerate this situation? I gestured while talking to my friend, and that resulted in the disaster with the Donkeyman. Now I shake the Lawyer’s hand, and I’m twenty pounds in debt! What kind of world am I in?
3.11
ʿĪsā ibn Hishām said: I noticed signs of anger on the Pāshā’s face and was afraid there would be another disaster, this time with the Agent. I rushed over. After reprimanding the Agent for his trickery, I proceeded to threaten him, saying that I would raise the matter with the Public Attorney. He went away and left us alone.
The usher who was supervising plaintiffs gave a shout. We went inside and found the Attorney still chatting merrily with his two visitors. They indicated that we should go to talk to his secretary, so I went along and began to explain the case on my companion’s behalf. I told him about the bad treatment we had received from the police and the shocking way they had trumped up the charges. The Attorney turned to his secretary and told him not to allow any statement against the police; he should accept their statements and investigation. With that, he looked at his watch, found that it was the time for his appointment, grabbed his stick, put on his tarboosh, and left in a hurry with his two colleagues.
I must go now, I told my companion, and look for one of my friends who is an honest lawyer.
3.12
PĀSHĀ Tell me, what’s a lawyer in this system of yours?
ʿĪSĀ He’s the one who speaks on your behalf on matters in which you have no competence. He will defend you in areas you know nothing about, and testify for you about things which normally would not occur to you. His is a noble profession practiced today by many excellent people. However, certain other people have entered the profession who aren’t worthy of it and who use deceit and trickery as a means of making a profit, like this lawyer and his agent. It is people like them whom ʿAlāʾ al-dīn ʿAlī ibn Muẓaffar al-Kindī has in mind when he says:
Whenever they litigate, legal attorneys
are simply all-powerful Satans.
They are a people who find they have evil to spare,
so they sell it off to mankind.
Miṣbāḥ al-sharq 35, December 15, 1898
4.1
ʿĪsā ibn Hishām said: When the day of the court session arrived, I went to the court with my friend. In the courtyard outside I found people who looked pale; their expressions were grim. They breathed heavily and lifted their hands towards the heavens in despair. We watched in amazement as falsehood was passed off as truth and truths were denied. In all the commotion, we noticed some people complaining and making menacing remarks, a criminal currying favor, and a witness hesitating. A policeman kept uttering threats. Elsewhere, an orderly was taking matters into his own hands, and a lawyer was making his preparations. A mother was wailing, a baby crying, a girl fretting, and an old man grumbling. I heard people making incompatible and contradictory statements, and saw the lawyers who were about to defend the two parties sharpening their tongues and rousing their spirits, as they prepared to enter the arena of verbal combat and conduct the defense in cases of dispute, so that both of them could take away as their spoils from the legal battlefield an acquittal and the removal of suspicion and guilt.
With my friend I withdrew to a corner. At my side, the lawyer kept talking about the requisite principles, subsidiary issues, various other points and circumstances, and also mentioning the various phrases, articles, and sections dealing with misdemeanors and infractions. Then he thumbed through his notes, turned his files over, and gave us a solemn promise that the Pāshā need have no worries about being acquitted of the charge. Meanwhile, I was answering all my companion’s questions as the situation demanded. When he asked me questions about this particular slaughterhouse, I informed him that it was actually the court itself.