ʿĪSĀ The people as a whole.
PĀSHĀ Who is this mighty person whom the people agree to act as their deputy?
ʿĪSĀ The man you see in front of you is not a man of enormous importance. He’s just a peasant’s son whose father has sent him to schools where he’s obtained the certificate. He’s thus entitled to act as an attorney of the Parquet. His authority to deal with people covers matters of homicide, property, and finance.
PĀSHĀ In God’s eyes the martyr has an exalted status; in heaven, he occupies the very highest position.31 But you seem to have lost your mind! How can you suppose that martyrdom in the way of God and life here on earth can both apply to one man at the same time? What is even stranger and more confusing is that a peasant can have authority over people, and a farmer is the community’s deputy! I’ve gone from one misfortune to another but still remained calm and patient. But I can’t do so any longer in the face of this incredible state of affairs. What an utter disaster! What a terrible catastrophe! I’ve no patience left. Will someone help me return to the oblivion of the grave?
3.5
ʿĪSĀ You must realize that this “certificate” does not mean the same thing as martyrdom in holy war. It’s a piece of paper received by students at the end of their studies to confirm that they have studied and achieved excellence in the various branches of learning. Sometimes people who want to get one have to pay one thousand five hundred francs.
PĀSHĀ Oh, I see! You mean the certificate awarded by scholars at al-Azhar to the students who have studied with them and achieved distinction. But I never heard of such expenses in my time, nor have I heard of the noble al-Azhar dealing in francs.
ʿĪSĀ The subjects they study are not the traditional al-Azhar ones, but Western ones which they learn in Europe. The franc is the French unit of currency, and they call that amount the fee for the certificate. It is a trifling sum when you bear in mind the many advantages it brings. In this system, the basic principle is that “a certificate without any learning is better than learning without any certificate.” Anyone with a certificate can present it to the government department and have the right to receive a salary and continuing increments.
PĀSHĀ I almost follow you now. I think this certificate corresponds to the tax-farm lists and ledgers of treasury officials in the time of our government.
3.6
ʿĪsā ibn Hishām said: While we were chatting, two young men suddenly appeared. They looked very suave and elegant as they strutted their way through the crowd. Their sleeves exuded perfume into the air. Conversing volubly with each other, they managed to ignore everyone around them. One of them kept cleaving the air with his cane, while the other fiddled with his spectacles. Everyone stared at them agog. The Policeman walked ahead of them, pushing people out of their way. Eventually they reached the door of the Attorney’s office. He told the litigants in the various cases to leave, whereupon the usher proceeded to force them all out, cursing and swearing as he did so. Meanwhile the Attorney himself set about finishing up the minutes and removing the inkwells. Having cleared the entire place, he made ready to welcome the two young men. The Pāshā asked me:
PĀSHĀ (to ʿĪsā) It looks to me as if these two young men must be the sons of very important princes, or else they are inspectors of the Parquet like the police station Inspector whom we saw earlier.
ʿĪSĀ No, I think they’re just friends of the Attorney from his college days paying him a visit. That’s clear enough from their general appearance.
I wanted to find out more about the two of them. So, while everyone else was milling around, I took the opportunity to sneak up close to the door behind the curtain from where I could both see and hear. This is the conversation I heard:
3.7
FIRST VISITOR (after greeting the Attorney and sitting down) Why did you leave us yesterday before the game was over?
ATTORNEY It was long past midnight, and I had so many cases to deal with that I had to get up early.
SECOND VISITOR Whoever heard of cases keeping anyone away from his friends’ company? That excuse is only handy when you’re talking to people who aren’t familiar with the Parquet’s business! I personally am acquainted with a colleague who only spends an hour a day on cases! He’s satisfied just to look them over for a moment. He doesn’t bother to peruse them, but relies instead on a combination of his sheer mental acumen, his alert intellect, and his wide experience in order to discover the relevant facts. Not only that, but now that there’s no longer any disagreement or bad feeling between the Parquet and the police, the best idea is to make do with police evidence or else send it back it to them for completion. There’s no point in reopening inquiries and wasting time on something which may lead to more bad feelings and arguments all over again.
ATTORNEY That’s exactly what I do, but one has to adhere to outward appearances as far as possible.
FIRST VISITOR Haven’t you got a secretary who can take over and save you all the bother?
ATTORNEY You’re right. The secretary can do it perfectly well. The real reason why I stopped playing and left yesterday was that I’d already lost the month’s salary I had with me, and it’s still only the beginning of the month.
FIRST VISITOR You’re always claiming to have lost, however much you’ve won. In my entire life the only thing I’ve ever heard you say is that you’ve lost. Didn’t you win five pounds off me on the last hand we played?
ATTORNEY I swear to you on my honor, conscience, and future career, that I’d lost money when I left yesterday.
SECOND VISITOR Never mind! Tell me, are you still going to keep your appointment with us to go to our friend’s house to see that famous belly dancer?
ATTORNEY I can’t make it. In the first place, I don’t like that type of dancing. Only locals and peasants enjoy that sort of thing. Secondly, I’ve invited Mademoiselle X, the opera star, and two of her colleagues to dine with me at “Santé” in the Ezbekiyyah Quarter. Afterwards, we’re going to have some fun and visit Khān al-Khalīlī, Qaṣbat Ruḍwān, the Tombs of the Caliphs, and other ancient sites in the city.
3.8
FIRST VISITOR You were just claiming you didn’t have any of your month’s salary left. How are you going to afford such expenses?
ATTORNEY I forgot to mention that a lawyer and his friend, the ʿumdah,32 are coming with us.
SECOND VISITOR How can two such people make any pretense of liking French soirées or getting the slightest enjoyment out of them? They don’t know a word of the language or any European phrases.
ATTORNEY My dear friend, don’t you realize that lawyers want to keep the company of the judiciary, and peasants want to brush shoulders with us? But both alike dearly want to attend French soirées, even though the cost is so high and they get no benefit or enjoyment whatsoever.
SECOND VISITOR (tersely) Where did you get that cravat?
ATTORNEY I didn’t buy it, monsieur. It came with my clothes from my tailor in Paris.
FIRST VISITOR Did you hear that X has resigned?
SECOND VISITOR Have you seen those electric carriages?
ATTORNEY I’ve found out for you why Suarez’s son committed suicide.
FIRST VISITOR I know—love!
ATTORNEY No.
VISITOR Money?
ATTORNEY No.
VISITOR Was he ill?
ATTORNEY No, the poor chap was copying the latest rage in Paris!
FIRST VISITOR And I’ve found out for you why ʿUthmān Bey Ghālib was fired from his post.