‘But surely dying is part of life?’ Millie said impulsively. ‘I did not mean just your uncle, sir—and I beg your pardon if I have distressed you. There must have been many generations of your family, and they cannot all have been unhappy. Your uncle must have been happy here once? Mama was unhappy towards the end, but she told us to remember the good times—and that is what we do.’
‘That is enough,’ Selina said sternly. ‘If you cannot behave you may go to your room, Millie. I shall not tell you to curb your tongue again. We are guests here, and you will remember that, if you please.’
Millie’s cheeks went bright red, and she looked as if she might burst into tears in the ensuing silence.
‘No, do not scold her,’ the earl said after a moment. ‘She is quite right, and I have been a fool to dwell on my uncle’s unhappiness. What happened to him was unfortunate, but there was a time when this was a happy house.’
‘And shall be again,’ Henry said. ‘Ah, I think that is the dinner gong. Shall we take our places at table? Miss Millie, will you honour me by sitting beside me, please? I should like to talk to you about our self-appointed task in the library.’
‘And what is that, pray?’ the earl asked as Millie went silently to her allotted place. ‘If Nor has embroiled you in one of his schemes, Miss Millie, you must not let him become a slave driver—for I promise you he will if given a free hand.’
‘Some chance I have of keeping you to your desk if you choose to go riding or visiting instead,’ Henry said, and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at Selina, as if reassuring her. ‘Millie discovered that I was embarking on the reorganisation of the library, and she nobly offered to assist me.’
‘She will be in her heaven,’ Amy said, and smiled at him. ‘It was kind of you to let her help, sir, because she lives for books. Papa indulged her, but Mama was afraid she might ruin her eyes.’
‘Oh, I do not think a love of books ever hurt anyone,’ Henry said. ‘If you need an escort into Long Melford, I should be glad to accompany you tomorrow. I think you will find it is the nearest town, and it has several shops that you will find of interest—though if you cannot find what you need, I should be glad to send to London for you.’
‘How kind you are,’ Selina said, recovering her tongue. ‘I think our needs are fairly simple, and most haberdashers will be able to supply us with silks and ribbons and some lace. We already have the cloth we require. A good general merchant should supply the other goods we need—almonds, essence and sugar to make marchpane, dates, nuts and preserves, of course. Cook has already started on her cake, and her puddings were made before we left home. We have been using preserves we brought with us, but must now replace them.’
‘You must send your accounts to me,’ the earl said. ‘If we are to share our Christmas celebrations and other meals, I insist on paying for the supplies we need.’
‘I should not dream …’ Selina met his gaze and blushed. ‘We shall provide the things I have named, sir—perhaps you would care to see to the beef, capons, ham—even a goose or even two?’
‘Our farms will supply everything of that nature, of course. If that is your wish. And you must leave the wines to me. I imagine our guests would enjoy my uncle’s champagne and brandy. And I have some very good Italian wine on its way, which I think we shall all enjoy.’
‘That sounds perfectly acceptable,’ Selina said, and smiled, her feeling of embarrassment fading. ‘The vicar is dining with us soon, and we are to have a small family party the week after next. I hope you will join us for each occasion, both of you. It is Millie’s birthday. She will be thirteen, going on thirty-five, and I have not yet decided what she deserves as a gift.’
‘I should like a book,’ Millie said promptly. ‘If you really want to know. There was a Bestiary I liked in Papa’s library, but that would be too expensive, Selina, so I do not mind what you give me.’
‘Well, you will just have to wait and see, miss,’ Selina said, and sent her sister a forgiving smile.
Looking round at the group about the table, she breathed a sigh of relief. Millie’s outspokenness had caused some embarrassment, but the earl seemed to have recovered his equilibrium and had actually gone out of his way to make her sister feel less uncomfortable. As for Mr Norton, he was kindness itself—and if the way he looked at Amy was an indication of his feelings, he already cared for her.
Selina noticed that the two of them were talking animatedly. Millie was butting in now and then, but not as often as she normally did. She glanced at the earl and saw that he was looking at her in an oddly thoughtful way. A little tingle started at the nape of her neck as she saw his expression. What was he thinking? Was it possible that he had remembered her? Surely not! That kiss must have been just a small, unimportant incident to him—as indeed it ought to have been to her.
Had she been given the season her mama had intended, she would almost certainly have married. Had there been no loss of Papa’s fortune and no suicide, she would not have spent so much time at home, caring for her delicate mama and her sisters. The romantic image she’d had of that moonlit garden should have faded. She should have fallen in love again …
She gave herself a mental shake. Had she fallen in love with Robert Moorcroft that night? Yes, of course she had. Selina had never truly understood what her feelings were—it was just an enchanted moment in her young life. That was it, of course. She had been so young—sixteen, innocent and impressionable—and Captain Moorcroft had been so handsome and bold, several years older. His kiss had inflamed her passions and captured her heart.
He was still a handsome man, but that boldness—that devil-may-care manner that had caused her to lose her senses in a madcap moment of sensual pleasure—had disappeared. Earl Banford was a different man—just as she was a different woman.
Selina was not sure whether or not she truly liked the man he had become. Surely there could be nothing left of anything either of them had felt that night? He had been drunk, and she’d been swept away on a magic carpet of enchantment. Selina was no longer that young girl. She had been foolish to allow herself even to think of that ridiculous incident—for that was all it had been, of course. Just a girl’s dream of romance, and it should be shut away like her other dreams.
When Papa had died and left them almost penniless, and Mama had become so ill, requiring Selina’s constant attention, she had put away her dreams of love and marriage. She knew now that even if she stretched her slender funds to the limit, they could barely afford for Amy to have a season, even if one of Mama’s old friends would act as her chaperone. Selina must keep her thoughts firmly fixed on the future and the position she must seek once her younger sister had found someone she could love. Amy must be given every chance. She would not be allowed to throw herself away on the first man who offered, because with her vivacity and her looks, she might aim higher than a mere baronet. Perhaps even a marquis … or an earl?
Glancing at the earl, she found his eyes disconcertingly still on her, even though her sister was laughing and making Millie and Mr Norton laugh too. No, she could not convince herself that Moorcroft, as he would have her call him, was showing any interest in Amy. Rather he was staring down the table at her, an almost pensive expression in his eyes. She could not tell if he were annoyed, bored, or merely lost in his own thoughts.
He had eaten his soup and his meat, but as the puddings were carried in, he pushed back his chair, rising to his feet and saying, ‘No, Henry, stay and finish your meal with the ladies. I have something I wish to attend to—if you will excuse me?’
With that he was gone. His leaving caused silence to fall once more—a silence that made Henry feel it necessary to apologise for.
‘It happens sometimes,’ he said. ‘You must forgive Robert, Miss Searles. At times he feels that he cannot bear to see others happy. I daresay he was remembering … something that happened when we were in Spain. It haunts him still. You must not be distressed, for he did not mean to be rude.’
‘There