Selina caught her breath. As soon as he spoke, all the memories came rushing back, threatening to overcome her. His smile was just the same, but the years had aged him, taking that bright youth and enthusiasm from his face. His eyes were different, shadowed, as if he had seen too much sorrow and pain—as of course he must have, for she’d heard tales of the harshness of war, though she could have no idea of what these two men had suffered. Mr Norton’s face bore a terrible scar from his left eye to his chin, and she noticed that he walked with a limp, and his left hand was covered with a glove. She guessed that it had sustained an injury that he did not wish to reveal to the world.
‘I am glad you have no objection to my changes, my lord,’ Selina said, keeping her cool smile in place. ‘My youngest sister is a great reader and loves to spend much of her time here. I realise that you may wish to make the library your own, but perhaps she may continue to borrow the books?’
The earl hesitated, then inclined his head stiffly. ‘I, too, enjoy reading. I daresay we may come to some arrangement—providing she is quiet when I’m working on estate matters.’
‘I assure you she will be as quiet as a mouse. Once she has her nose in a book, it takes a Herculean effort to get her out of it.’
‘A true reader,’ Henry Norton said with a smile. ‘I shall look forward to meeting the young lady. Now I shall leave you, Robert. I daresay you wish to be private with Miss Searles. I know you have things to discuss.’
‘You do not have to leave,’ the earl said, but his friend merely smiled at Selina and went out.
The earl stared at her in brooding silence for a moment or two, then, ‘I am sorry if my arrival has made things awkward for you, Miss Searles. I had no intention of coming down yet, but Mr Breck seems to think you have uncovered evidence of my uncle being cheated?’
‘Yes, that is so,’ Selina agreed. ‘I am sure it was the case. The agent who was almost certainly behind most of it has left, but I think there may be more serious offences than I have yet had time to uncover. I have not delved too far, because I was not certain how you would feel about a woman prying into your affairs.’
‘I would normally resent anyone prying,’ he said, with a mocking lift of his eyebrow. ‘However, in this case I can only thank you for the service you have rendered me. I shall ask you to show me the evidence another day—perhaps tomorrow morning if you are not too busy? After that you may leave the estate accounts to me.’
‘Certainly, my lord,’ Selina said, her head up as she met his hard gaze. ‘I was merely trying to save Mr Breck too many trips down here—and to pay for my accommodation.’
‘I think you may consider your rent paid,’ the earl replied, still with that faintly sardonic smile on his lips. ‘As I said, I may not have seen much of the house yet, but what I have seen is a credit to you. Trent told me that you and your own servants are responsible for most of it?’
‘I have hired two maids to clean and serve in your wing, my lord. Also a former footman asked to return when he heard you were intending to take up residence. I told him he must come to you, and I believe he intends to wait on you tomorrow. I did not wish to presume too much, my lord.’
‘For goodness’ sake, call me Moorcroft—or sir,’ the earl said a trifle impatiently. ‘Until recently I was Captain Moorcroft of the Fifth Cavalry, and to be honest, I preferred it that way.’
‘As you wish, my … sir.’ Selina felt the heat in her cheeks. Just for a moment she’d glimpsed the man who had stolen her young heart, but he had disappeared again almost at once. ‘I daresay you did not wish for the bother of an estate like this. My father always said that large houses like this were more trouble than they were worth—but of course his estate was nothing like this must once have been.’
‘My uncle was in mourning for a long time. He let everything slide, and some of the land was lost to bad debt—and perhaps malpractice, as you have already seen.’
‘Yes, I imagine it must have been that way.’ Selina lifted her eyes to his. ‘If you would care to inspect our wing later this evening, I shall be delighted to show you.’
‘I shall visit if you invite me, but it isn’t a case of inspecting. Your wing is your home until you are ready to move, Miss Searles.’
‘You are very generous.’ Selina blinked back the stupid tears that hovered behind her eyes. She might have known he would not remember her. Just as he had changed, so had she. They had both been young and eager that night, but life had taken its toll, and they were now very different people. ‘I have warned Millie she must not intrude on you. I fear she has been in the habit of going wherever she pleases. My sisters are both delighted with the house, sir. They adore the minstrels’ gallery and the priest holes.’
‘Yes, I remember seeing them for the first time as a young boy—before things changed.’ His mouth drew into a thin line. ‘I believe my uncle suffered more tragedy than any man should in losing his wife and sons to the same malady. At the time I did not understand why his house was like a mausoleum, but I have since learned what it is to lose those you love.’
‘Yes, I believe it must have been terrible at times out there during the war. We heard tales, of course, but it is difficult to imagine what went on.’
‘You should not try, Miss Searles. Believe me, you do not wish to know.’
For a moment there was such horror and grief in his eyes that she was shocked. She felt cold all over and her spine prickled. What could have happened to him to make him look like that?
‘I believe I have nothing more to say for the moment,’ he said. ‘I should like to rest. Trent has offered me refreshment—but I understand the cook is employed by you?’
‘Yes, she came with me—together with my mother’s maids and my groom. The other servants are, of course, in your employ. However, since they all work together, I believe we may share their services. You do not have a dining parlour in your wing, so perhaps you will dine with us this evening?’
‘Yes, that may be for the best. I shall have to make other arrangements after you leave or perhaps before. Excuse me now, Miss Searles. I have work to do.’
Selina felt herself dismissed. He had treated her politely, but she knew that he considered her to be just one step above a paid housekeeper—perhaps equal to a poor relation he had given a temporary home.
Fighting her chagrin, and a stupid feeling of disappointment that he had not immediately remembered her as the girl he had kissed on that magical summer evening, she left him to brood alone in the library or whatever he chose to do. She had warned her sisters they were to stay away from his wing of the house, and she must do the same—unless requested to present herself, as she had been today.
She was so stupid to care! It had been but a fleeting moment—something she ought to have forgotten long ago, as he clearly had. They had both learned to feel pain and to live with the loss of loved ones, but he had moved on with his life while she … No, she was not that foolish girl. She was Miss Searles, and if requested to walk in moonlit gardens with an officer she did not know, she would have more sense than to agree.
At least she’d been saved the embarrassment of his thinking she was presuming on their encounter that night. He’d had her story from Mr Breck and been generous enough to allow her to stay—and that was the end of it.
She must concentrate on making this a better Christmas for her sisters than the previous one, when they’d been grieving for their father and their mama had been lying prone on her bed.
This year they would have goose with all the trimmings, presents and greenery throughout their part of the house. Since the great hall was in Lord Moorcroft’s wing, they would not be able to bring in the Yule log, but she would