“I couldn’t,” Jayson said and felt the grief overcome him. Standing there by Duff’s bedside watching him drift away. Feeling his pain, her pain. Watching the separation between them grow.
But he’d made a promise.
“I’ll...I’ll do what I can. But it’s not like I can be... I mean I can’t be anything more than a friend to her. If she even wants that. She’s let me hang around the house these last few months, but I think that’s mostly because she couldn’t spare the energy to tell me to leave.”
“Hmm,” Alice said, looking at him, clearly assessing him. He reminded her of Scout when she was checking out a new prospect. As if she could figure out if a kid could hit a curveball just by seeing how he stood. “I see.”
“See what exactly, ma’am?”
“You didn’t break her heart like Duff said. She broke yours.”
Jayson nodded. “She’s still breaking it.”
“I know how that feels, son.” Alice patted him on the arm. “I truly do. The thing about my daughter...when things get difficult, she likes to hide. With something like this I’m afraid she’ll hide so deep no one will ever find her again. I know she’s hurt you, but I think, Jayson, you might be her only hope. She’s going to need someone who knows her tricks, someone who knows them and still loves her for them, if she has a chance of coming out of this. I know that’s an awful thing to ask. But I’m her mother so I’m asking it anyway.”
“You don’t have to, ma’am. Duff already did.”
Alice smiled. “Of course he did. Of course he did. Well, I imagine I’ll be seeing you around then, Jayson.”
“You’re not heading back home after this is over?” Jayson asked. That was probably news Scout didn’t know.
“Depends which home you mean. My current home, no. The home I used to have...yes. Whether she likes it or not.”
Jayson whistled under his breath.
“You might think my daughter is stubborn,” Alice said with a slightly evil smile. “But I’m worse.”
As she turned and walked away, Jayson thought these next few weeks were probably going to get very interesting.
Two weeks later...
“I’M READY TO WORK.”
Jayson looked up from his desk and shook his head. Scout hadn’t even bothered to knock. Just opened his door and walked right in with her announcement.
Like this was still Duff’s office and not his.
This transition for her was not going to be fun, he thought, but he knew if they were going to live in the same town, going forward there were going to have to be boundaries.
He needed boundaries.
The season was now officially over and he was just putting his last player evaluation forms together. Not that he would take the next few months off. Even in the off-season Jayson liked to stay involved with the stadium and its activities. He found that it connected him more solidly with the team.
Jerry, the team’s general manager, and his staff would work pretty much year-round until the start of the new season. Making concession stand changes, planning different local events and, most important, trying to figure out new and creative ways to fill the seats.
But for the players’ manager there wasn’t a whole lot to do other than study scouting prospects and give feedback on the upcoming draft next June. To that end Jayson had set up a tryout camp, which would start in the next few weeks. They were usually long shots, but he liked being proactive.
“Did you hear me?”
“You mean what you said after you barged into my office without knocking?”
She had the sense to look sheepish. “Sorry about that.”
Jayson decided boundaries were really the least of his concerns. She was his priority.
“Scout, I don’t think you are ready to work.”
She was standing in front of him in a pair of ripped jeans and a stained T-shirt. Her hair looked as if it hadn’t seen a brush in days, and the bags under her eyes were nearly black. He didn’t need to guess that she hadn’t eaten or slept in days. It was all there on her face, but he could see she’d sworn off the drugs. Her green eyes were clear and focused.
Knowing Scout, she wouldn’t have wanted to take anything that might have diluted her pain. No doubt she would have thought she was being disloyal to Duff by not grieving him hard enough.
It made him ache, but he knew deep inside he had to hold himself back a little. For example, he couldn’t get up and walk around his desk and hold her. He couldn’t try to help shoulder the burden of her grief for her.
He would look after her, make sure she was still upright. Because he’d promised to do that. But it was as far as he could go.
Or it would happen again, like it did the first time. He’d fall for her. Hard. Jayson was fairly certain he’d never survive a second round.
“No, I can do it. We’ve got the tryout camp coming up in a few weeks and I should be there. Not to mention high school fall ball is starting. The Rebels are going to want me out at games.”
“I talked to Greg and Reuben. They were at Duff’s service, of course. Reuben said to give you all the time you needed.”
Jayson didn’t want to think about the underlying tone of that conversation. Scout didn’t need anything else to worry about in her current state.
Scout’s jaw dropped. “Wait a minute. You talked to Greg? My new boss? What right did you have to do that?”
Jayson just looked at her and she immediately backed down.
“Okay, I appreciate you covering for me for these last two weeks, but I’m telling you I’m ready to get out there and start working. Even if I’m not ready, I still need to get out there and start working.”
He leaned back in his chair. Scout moved forward to put her hands on his desk.
“Jayson, my mother isn’t leaving. She’s staying in my house. She’s unpacked suitcases, filled up dresser drawers. I don’t think she has any plans to go home. Neither does Samantha, for that matter. She just keeps waving her phone in my face and telling me she can work from anywhere. Do you know what this is doing to me?”
“They’re trying to help you,” he reminded her. “They are your family and they love you despite all the drama of the past. If you would stop being so stubborn, you might see that. You might realize that we’re all of us here for you, Scout.”
She grimaced and crossed her arms over her chest. Typical Scout defense mode.
“I don’t need their help. There is nothing anyone can do. He’s gone. There is no bringing him back. What are they going to do? Wave some magic wand and fix me? They can’t. I’m broken and that’s all there is. But I’ve still got two eyes and two ears and I’ll know if a sixteen-year-old hitter has the stuff.”
Jayson did stand then and walk around his desk. He tried not to feel hurt when she took a deliberate step back. Sometimes when he was around her he felt like his skin was laced with some kind of poison, that the merest touch might kill her.
“Scout, you’re not eating, you don’t sleep. You’re not...strong enough to be out on the road day in and day out. I won’t let you do it.”
That apparently was not the correct thing to say.