Scout opened her mouth as if to argue, but this time he shook his head.
“I used to blame Duff. I told him he must have messed with your head to make you think you could never leave his side. But it wasn’t him, was it? You were just too scared to change your life.”
“You were asking me to change everything!” Scout screeched. “We had been dating for seven months. It was the first time I’d been in love and everything was already changing and then you wanted me to pick up everything and move with you. What about my career? My future? My family? None of that mattered to you. You never once considered staying for me, but you were mad at me for not jumping up and following your command. How is that fair?”
Maybe it wasn’t. Jayson felt deflated. He hadn’t convinced her four years ago and he wasn’t going to convince her now that she was wrong. He’d wanted Scout to prove to him he was more important than anyone else in her life.
Now she never could.
“We should go,” he said. “It’s getting late.”
“What do you want from me?” Scout shouted at him. He could see the tears welling in her eyes and knew he’d torn something open in her. Their wounds clearly hadn’t fully healed.
“What do you want me to say?” she continued to shout. “That I made a mistake. That I regretted my decision every day. That even after four years I still think about you and wonder what if?”
She advanced on him, her eyes still red with tears, but there was anger there, too. “Because if I did that, if I made that admission, then I would have to wonder what if I had followed you four years ago. And that would have meant that I wouldn’t have had these last four years with my father. Because that was all the time he had left. So, no, I’m not going to admit that.”
“Scout, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You do nothing but hurt me!” she howled.
The blow was more devastating than anything he’d ever felt before. It hurt more than running into a brick wall or finding out he would never play baseball again.
The only woman he’d ever loved and he did nothing but hurt her.
I should go. The thought came to him immediately. They couldn’t easily stay in the same space without causing each other pain. It only made sense for him to leave.
Never thought you were a quitter.
There it was again, hearing Duff in his head. And of course he would say the one thing that would annoy Jayson enough to not leave.
“Come on,” he said, offering his hand. “We need to get on the road.”
They both got in the car, silence now sitting heavy between them.
“Well, that was worth it,” Scout muttered.
He knew she’d said it facetiously, but he didn’t agree. Those were things they had needed to say to each other. Now it was done, and the bottom line was he was either going to have to let her go and move on with this life...
Or he was going to have to find a way to stop hurting her.
Five years ago...
DAMN, HE WAS NOT going to be able to take this slow. Scout was in his arms and the need to bury himself inside her was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Jayson knew what sex was—he’d had plenty of sex—but this felt different.
This was the first time he’d waited for something he wanted. And the wait had nearly killed him.
The moment he’d laid eyes on Scout, Jayson knew he wanted her. Something about her edginess turned him on. But he’d also sensed a vulnerability about her that was equally intriguing. The one thing he knew for certain was that he was going to have to move slowly with her.
Instinctively, he knew if he asked her out that first week he would have scared her off. So instead he let their friendship develop naturally. Which made things even harder because not only did he want to screw her brains out, but also the more they hung out together the more he liked her.
Jayson couldn’t remember the last time he’d liked someone so much.
Which was why when she finally worked up the nerve to ask him out, he knew all that waiting had paid off. She was coming to him. Like a rabbit he was luring out of its lair with a little bit of sweet lettuce.
Now they were in his hotel room, and her tongue was in his mouth and he was thinking with what little brainpower he had left that he was not going to be able to drag this out.
Next time, he told himself.
Next time he would nibble and lick and suck. He would tease and torment and make her come a million times before he slid inside her.
This time he just needed to get inside her.
“Scout, I need you, baby.”
She pulled away and was looking at him a little bit confused, which he thought was nice. His kiss had made her fuzzy.
“Huh?”
He ran his hand down her back until he was cupping her ass and pulling her against his aching erection. “Are you ready for me?”
He felt her still and maybe that should have been his first clue, but he was too busy stroking his cock between her legs, which was making him crazy and her whimper.
“Turn around,” he told her and she obeyed. He grabbed hold of the zipper of her dress and pulled it down her body, loving the skin that was revealed as the fabric fell away from her body. He loved it more when he passed the part of her back where her bra strap should have been and it wasn’t there. So much so that he pressed a kiss in the center of her back, making her whimper again.
For a second they got into a tug-of-war over the straps of her dress. Scout didn’t seem to want to let them go, but Jayson wasn’t going to be able to see her naked if she didn’t. And Jayson really wanted to see her naked.
“Scout?” he asked, wondering if there was a problem.
Then she let her arms down and the dress fell away from her body. He helped her step out of it and then he pulled on her arm to turn her around. Except when she did, she had her arms crossed over her breasts.
“Shy?” Jayson asked, smiling at her. Her hair was long down her back. Her bare body, all flat angles, made him even harder and he didn’t know that was possible. Then there were her sexy panties that she no doubt wore just in case Jayson managed to get her out of her dress.
“You are so beautiful. Let me see all of you.”
Again he had to tug, this time to get her arms off her body. As soon as he succeeded she ducked her head, which again might have been a clue if he hadn’t been so hyperfocused on her perky round breasts and her tight nipples.
“I’m going to suck those nipples so hard I’m going to make you scream. Next time. But right now I can’t wait.”
Thinking she was on the same page, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the king-sized bed. He dropped her so that she was flat on her back and as soon as he did she covered her breasts again, which made him sad. He was going to have to break her of that habit.
Next time.
Jayson shucked off his coat and toed out of his shoes. He really didn’t want to take the time to remove his tie and unbutton his shirt but this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing. This wasn’t just about sex, either. This was the start of their relationship. He needed to treat it with some respect.
So he did take off his tie and he did unbutton his shirt, but he did it quickly.
Then he was pulling down his pants and as soon as he stood before her he heard a slight squeak. He fished out a condom from his wallet and then kicked his clothes away.
Without