Seems like we switched places, he thought. She’d blossomed, while he’d...retreated. He supposed he should be thankful she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort, or he’d lash out even more; a public display of his private pain wasn’t in his nature. Or hadn’t been, until lately.
Of course, maybe she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort because she didn’t care. She might appreciate him—yeah, he hated the word all right—but that didn’t mean she felt anything more.
“Please? He might be there already.”
Drew snapped himself out of his useless reverie. “Or he might not be at all,” he warned.
“He will be. I just know it.”
It wasn’t what he’d planned on doing this Saturday morning, but Drew found himself assenting anyway. He didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been peaceful, relatively, even pleasant for the last week, but they’d been kind of walking on eggshells, too.
“All right. I’ll go with you.”
He felt rather than saw Alyssa’s startled glance. Usually she was the one to give in first.
Luke crowed. “Yahoo!”
“But you’re still restricted,” Drew warned. “You stay in sight at all times, no running off on your own.”
Usually Alyssa thought his penalties a bit too strict, but she had no quibble with this one. Which told him how scared she’d been last week. She’d already been on edge, thinking somebody had been watching her. And Luke taking off had been the tipping point.
“Go get your duck boots on, a sweater, and your blue jacket,” she instructed.
The boy grimaced, but was wise enough even at six not to push his luck. He darted up the stairs.
“I can go with him,” she said when he was out of earshot.
“I think we both should,” he said.
Her brow furrowed. He frowned; was just the idea of a walk with him so bad?
“I’m sure you have other things to do,” she said.
Was there annoyance in her voice, or was he imagining it? There had been a time when he’d been able to read her better. But she wasn’t the same foolish girl she’d been when she’d run off with Doug at seventeen, believing they were eloping, only to find he had no intention of marrying her. Not even—or rather especially—when she’d gotten pregnant.
Nor was she the same shattered woman he’d found two years after Doug’s death, alone, in a hospital and seriously ill, and unable to care for herself or her toddler son. Alyssa had been a broken woman. And the nephew he’d never even met was in the custody of Child Protective Services.
No, she’d healed, gradually, gotten stronger. And she’d grown up. Rather quickly, once she saw the chance to get her son back. Then she’d sacrificed everything to keep Luke safe and happy.
She’d even married him.
She was staring at him now. “Two sets of eyes to keep on him,” he said.
“You don’t think he’ll run away again?” Anxiety spiked in her voice.
He hadn’t meant to do that. “No. But it can’t hurt, can it?”
He wanted to ask if the idea of a walk with him was that horrible, but he didn’t want to hear the answer so he kept quiet.
“No. It’s a good idea. If he sees us going together, maybe he’ll think—”
She broke off suddenly, as if she’d realized what her next words would have sounded like.
Drew didn’t need to hear them to know what she’d been going to say. Maybe Luke will think we’re okay, that we’re a real family, that the only parents he’d really known were really together.
When in reality they were anything but.
Without a word, he walked over to the coatrack by the door and grabbed his rain jacket. He took Alyssa’s down as well and held it for her as she slid her arms in. A nice, husbandly gesture.
Right.
He knew too well he would never be able to make Alyssa happy, not in the way Doug had. No amount of telling himself it had only been teenage infatuation could change that.
They walked, slowly since the rain had for the moment lightened to more of a heavy mist. He wished he could kid himself that they were a normal, ordinary, happy family out for a Saturday morning walk. But his own actions, calling out to Luke to remind him to stay in sight, were a reminder they were not. As was his wife’s nervous edginess, the way she keep looking around, over her shoulder, as if she expected something or someone to jump out at her.
She must still be having that feeling of being watched. He didn’t sense anything, but he wasn’t sure he would. He was just a guy who went to work every day and tried to keep things together. Alyssa had the imagination in the family. Maybe that’s what had drawn her to Doug, who had always been full of wild, impossible plans.
But he didn’t discount her feeling. Because he knew something she didn’t yet, because he’d only found out the week before Luke vanished. He hadn’t been sure how to tell her, had been working up to it, and then the whole thing with Luke had happened, and even though that had turned out fine, she was still shaken. So he’d held off telling her what he’d learned. But he’d renewed the vow he’d made on the day she’d agreed to his plan. He would keep both her and Luke safe. And he would. No matter what.
* * *
“He is here!”
“Yes, it seems he is,” Alyssa said to her delighted son. “How did you know?”
Luke slid her a sideways look. “He told me.”
“Who told you?”
“Cutter.”
She had no idea what to say to that piece of fancy, so she merely laughed. In her heart, she was happy the boy could even manage such fanciful thoughts still. Because of his rocky start in life, he was ahead of many kids his same age in leaving childhood behind. But he was clearly able to still indulge in wild imaginings, and somehow that comforted her.
“Can I go now?” Luke asked, trying to tug his hand free from hers.
“No,” she said. “We need to talk to his people first.”
But it seemed the decision was out of her hands, the dog was already racing across the park toward them. She saw Hayley and Quinn spot them, and Hayley gave a friendly wave as they started their way as well.
The approach of the happy dog was too much for Luke, and he broke loose to run toward him. The dog yipped in greeting, and immediately dropped into what was clearly play mode, front end down, tail up and wagging.
“Hello,” Hayley said cheerfully as they joined them. Quinn merely nodded at them both. “I should have known there was a reason Cutter wanted to come here this morning.”
Drew blinked. “What?”
“He was determined,” Quinn said drily.
Alyssa laughed. “You say that like it was his idea.”
“Oh, it was,” Hayley said. “He made it quite clear.”
“He’s a dog,” Drew said, rather pointedly.
“Maybe,” Quinn said in the same tone.
Hayley laughed, probably at their expressions. Alyssa guessed she looked as skeptical as Drew did right now.
“It’s kind of hard to explain,” Hayley said. “He’s kind of hard to explain. But trust me, he brought us here, not the other way around.”
Drew was looking at them in that assessing, considering way of his. “He brought you,” he said