Alone at the bar again, she was feeling downright depressed about her predicament when Ned Tompkins appeared at her elbow and asked her to dance. She wasn’t crazy about either Ned or dancing, but she accepted, mostly to fend off any more interest in Neill and her. As they moved around the dance floor, Ned began talking about a possible class reunion now that Neill was back. She was about as interested in a reunion as she was in the invitation hinted at by the movement of Ned’s hands sliding down her back.
Even after they’d stopped dancing and she’d made her excuses, Ned continued to stare at her from his perch at the other end of the bar. Ned had tried to date her when she’d first moved back from Bangor, but she wasn’t interested and had let him down as gently as possible. Not because she didn’t like him, she simply wasn’t interested in a relationship. Feeling isolated, she glanced around to see that Gayle was happily chatting with some of their coworkers. She decided to go outside for a few minutes.
She caught Gayle’s eye and pointed toward the door. Gayle broke away from her group and came over. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“I need a little fresh air.”
“This isn’t about Neill, is it?”
“No, of course not.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She went down the front steps and out into the cool night air. The full moon reminded her of another full moon years before when she and Neill were the only two inhabitants in the world they’d created. Their months together had been so sweet, so exciting; she’d believed they’d go on forever.
A lump formed in her throat. Tears hugged her lids. No. She couldn’t start crying. It had to be the alcohol making her teary. She swallowed and jammed her fingers into her palms.
Drawing the night air into her lungs, she began to feel her old resolve return.
Concentrate on your life and what you want out of it. You have plans—focus on that.
Lifting the hair off her neck to cool her overheated skin, she took a few steps toward the street.
Rigby’s Pub had been part of downtown Eden Harbor for over a century and it boasted a beautiful view of the harbor. Tonight the view was undeniably spectacular. Moonlight danced off the water at the foot of the street, creating a black velvet sheen over the surface. Stars bathed the heavens in ethereal light.
Eden Harbor was one of the most beautiful places on earth and would always remain a part of her life, regardless of where her plans might lead her. Out here, under the night sky, she felt more in control. She was about to enter a whole new phase of her life, making tonight’s scene in the bar a distant memory. Once again, she began to feel excited about her future in Portsmouth.
She was staring out over the water when a voice broke into her thoughts.
* * *
AFTER HIS CONVERSATION with Lilly, Neill had gone home to his new house, now so empty without Morgan. All the while, guilt dug into him, guilt about bringing Morgan here, guilt about letting her down when his marriage failed and now, suddenly, guilt and a sense of foreboding about the future.
During his successful career in Boston, he’d practiced medicine and taught on a part-time basis at the medical school. It had worked reasonably well until his uncle Nicolas, intending to retire, had asked him to come home. His uncle had been very persuasive, and Neill had been ready for a change in his life. Despite his success in Boston, he’d discovered that he’d missed the close connection with people that a smaller community offered. The truth was he’d returned to Eden Harbor to make a difference, to be the kind of doctor people here needed. Yet today he had to admit that he’d also returned to fill a need...to find what was missing from his life.
Tonight he was feeling a strange sense of unease as he roamed around the house, checking Morgan’s room, unpacking a couple of boxes of books in his office, all in an attempt to fight a sense of restlessness and longing. Despite having had pizza with Lilly and Morgan, he was still hungry for something to help fill the strange emptiness. He opened the fridge, scanning each shelf for anything he didn’t have to prepare, or maybe something sweet. There was nothing but milk and a loaf of bread.
How had that happened? No wonder Morgan wanted to spend her time at his mother’s house. He needed to pay more attention to the everyday things. He had promised Morgan that she would have a good life here. He knew how nice it had been to grow up in this community. All he had to do was provide Morgan with a pleasant home environment. With that, along with his mother’s loving support, Morgan would have a great life.
Maybe what he needed was to go downtown and walk around a bit. Friday night had always been the night to go into town and have a beer at one of the local bars. Grabbing his jacket from where he’d tossed it on the sofa, he left the house and strode down the road. Falling into an easy stride and invigorated by the ocean-cooled air, he began to feel more upbeat and positive.
If he was honest about it, a lot of what he was feeling had to do with seeing Sherri again. He hadn’t expected to feel the way he did—gripped by an urgent need to reconnect with her. Did his feelings have more to do with his physical response to her than anything else? Or was he hoping to redeem the past somehow?
Sherri had been his best friend in high school until they’d started dating in twelfth grade. And then everything had changed. He’d changed. Because of Sherri, he’d become more focused, so much more in charge of his life and what he wanted from it. She’d inspired him to see a life filled with possibilities.
After she’d broken the news of her pregnancy, and he’d behaved so badly, they never spoke to each other again. Simple as that. He’d been hurt at first, and then worried, and then he’d found reason to move on—too damned self-absorbed to see that she needed him to be there for her.
But why was he thinking about Sherri? He had a daughter who needed his help in adjusting to her new life, a daughter who was ill. And if these seizures continued, he’d have to take her to Boston for reevaluation. If her condition had changed, he’d move back to Boston so she could have access to the best neuroscientists, putting an end to any concerns or interests he might have in Eden Harbor. There was no other choice.
So why did he want to have dinner with Sherri when his own future held such uncertainty? Had he invited Sherri out to dinner in an attempt to rekindle their relationship? His body flooded with warmth at the thought. But Sherri would never forgive him if he left her again, and he might have to—if Morgan had any more problems.
Beneath it all, he had to confess to a deeper problem, one that had slammed into him during those first minutes of Morgan’s seizure. Despite years of medical experience, he feared being needed the way his daughter needed him. As much as he wanted to be there for her, he was afraid he wasn’t good at it, that somehow in the end he would fail her, the one person in the world he loved without condition.
With his anxious thoughts ricocheting around his mind, he hadn’t realized how fast he’d been walking. Suddenly he was down by the harbor, standing in front of a pub he hadn’t been inside for years. As he stared up at the pirate ship facade, he saw Sherri standing on the steps, her chin raised, her gaze fixed on some point out in the harbor. She looked so completely lost he wanted to go to her.
With the moon high overhead, and Sherri there alone, he couldn’t resist the opportunity. He moved toward the entrance to the pub but hesitated on the bottom step. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
She glanced down at him, a look of surprise on her face. “There’s a birthday party going on inside.” She nodded to the door behind her.
“And you’re invited, but you needed a breath of air.” He thought she’d never looked more beautiful than she did tonight,