Mostly, Nicole’s life was good. Other than the fact that she was still struggling with her fiancé and best friend running off together and getting themselves killed. Oh yeah, and they’d been carrying on behind her back for months.
Fernando could’ve saved her a whole lot of humiliation and heartbreak, and maybe even kept Brandon and Adriana from dying because they wouldn’t have needed to run off together in the middle of the night. They could’ve just been together in the open, because Nicole would’ve dumped Brandon’s sorry self and told Adriana thanks but no thanks.
But apparently, Fernando wasn’t willing to give her credit for being strong enough to deal with that information. Clearly, he didn’t think she could handle her horse, either. But he’d already proven that he knew way more about horse training than she did, so she couldn’t tell him to bug off.
“Her stall’s this way,” Nicole said, taking the rope out of his hands and leading the horse. He might have shown some skill in training, but this was her horse.
Fernando nodded and stepped in line behind her.
Why did he have to be so agreeable? It was like he knew she was only grudgingly allowing him to be here, and he was doing his best to make her like him.
She took a deep breath and willed the threatening tears to stay back. She wouldn’t cry over this. Especially not in front of anyone else. Nicole’s job in the family had always been to make them smile. Maybe it wasn’t her official title, but that’s what she knew her sisters counted on her for. Being cheerful, happy and the life of the party.
Maybe that was who she used to be, but it wasn’t who she was anymore. The animals were the only safe things in her life. More important, they weren’t telling her what to do, how she should live her life. They just let her be her, without judging her.
Fernando opened the barn door for her, a task she could have done on her own, but he seemed determined to prove that he could help her.
So Fernando felt bad about what happened? Good for him. Maybe he thought that by doing a few good deeds for Nicole, everything would be all right. But it didn’t work that way. And even though everything that happened technically wasn’t his fault, it was nice to have someone to blame, since the real people she was mad at were dead.
She led Snookie into her stall and removed the halter. “There you go, girl. Nice job today. Are you ready for your supper?”
It was tempting to add that the silly horse was a traitor, falling so easily for her sworn enemy’s charms. Because he was charming. And once, back when her life seemed simpler, she’d even joked to Adriana that were Nicole not happily engaged, she’d have thought Fernando a hottie.
“I can help, if you like. Two flakes of hay?”
Once again, Fernando was trying to be helpful. Were it any other person, she wouldn’t feel so much resentment about his assistance. In fact, she’d be grateful.
But this was the man who symbolized all her pain.
And yes, she knew all the classic psychological speak for everything going on. People acted like she was stupid because she was a preschool teacher. But she did have her master’s, and she’d taken enough psychology courses in the process to grasp all the technical details about what she was dealing with. All the classic stages of grief.
“Yes,” she muttered, trying not to sound like such an ingrate. Were a stranger to peek into her life, they might think she was a horrible person for how she was treating Fernando.
In a way, she kind of felt that way about herself. But the pain in her heart was like a throbbing headache that only got worse when Fernando was near. Right now, it was like the kind of migraine that made you throw up.
Once Snookie was fed, Leah invited Fernando into the house for a glass of iced tea while they waited for Shane to come over, making the pain in Nicole’s heart even worse. Throwing up was almost an option. But instead, Nicole smiled. And she meekly followed them into the house, keeping the smile firmly planted on her face while figuring out how she was going to handle accepting help from the person she despised the most.
No, it probably wasn’t the most healthy thing for her to be doing, but it felt a whole lot better than falling apart over something that could never be fixed.
Fortunately, Shane didn’t take too long in arriving.
“Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. The fence on the back pasture is down in a few spots, and I wanted to get it fixed before you guys moved the herd there tomorrow.”
Shane’s engagement gift to Leah had been a herd of cattle that had initially come between them but was now what the sisters had hoped would be the start of turning their property back into a real working ranch. Which seemed like an impossible dream, considering they only had one horse, and that horse was not yet able to work the ranch. But on their budget, finding what Shane called a good horse seemed next to impossible.
Leah gave Shane a quick hug and kiss. “Oh, good. Erin took the boys over to the Double R Ranch to borrow a couple of ATVs so we can get the herd moved.”
Then Leah gestured at Fernando. “I want you to meet Fernando Montoya, an old family friend who says he can help with Snookie.”
Nicole would have liked to have argued with Leah about the old family friend part, but since Shane and Fernando were already exchanging pleasantries, it seemed like it would just be an act of meanness to do so. Especially since Leah looked so happy.
It was nice that Leah had found a man she could trust after her disastrous first marriage. Her husband had become addicted to painkillers after a skiing accident then died of a drug overdose, leaving Leah and her children destitute.
Even their sister, Erin, who also had a terrible first marriage, seemed to believe that love was possible again. Nicole wasn’t so sure.
As Shane and Fernando talked, Leah led her into the other room.
“I’m sorry if this seems presumptuous, and maybe it isn’t the right thing. But I’m really worried about you and the horse. Is there something else that happened with Fernando you haven’t told me? I’ve always thought that you’ve treated him unfairly and were punishing him unjustly. Like I said earlier, I think it would be good for both of you to spend some time together and deal with your mutual grief.”
She smiled at her sister. “I’ve dealt with my grief. I’m fine. I just don’t need the constant reminders of my perfect life falling apart and having no clue.”
She glanced in the direction of the kitchen, noting that Fernando and Shane appeared to be in a very deep conversation. Like they were getting along. But that was the trouble. Great that they were friends. But did anyone think about what it meant to her?
What did Fernando think he had to gain in this situation? If he felt so bad about his sister’s cheating, then why hadn’t he just told her to begin with? Why had he let her be played for a fool, when apparently everyone else seemed to know? Her family hadn’t, but they’d been dealing with their own stuff.
Every time she thought she was over it, Fernando had to step in and remind her. Even worse, he’d just shown her that the one thing that had been bringing her comfort after everything—working with this horse—was just one more mistake she’d made.
The men walked out of the kitchen, and she pasted a smile on her face.
“He’s good,” Shane said. “I’m really impressed with his horse knowledge. You’d be blessed to get a trainer like him. He’s promised that he’ll work with you and teach you. You’ll still do most of the training yourself, but with his guidance.”
Then his gaze landed firmly on Nicole. “I stand by what