“He doesn’t need to be in on our personal business,” Nicole muttered.
He knew way more personal things about Nicole than Nicole probably wanted him to know—or thought he knew. The matter of their living circumstances paled in comparison.
But he didn’t think saying so would endear him to Nicole. The mare jerked at the rope, and had it been Nicole holding her, she’d have gotten away. Nicole’s technique was too loose, and she seemed ill prepared to handle these outbursts. As it was, Fernando was going to have some killer rope burns on his hands.
He tied the horse up at the fence, then turned his attention back to Nicole.
“I don’t need to be acquainted with your personal business to know this horse needs help,” Fernando said. “I know you’ve always wanted a horse and that letting this one go would break your heart. But I agree with Shane. It’s not safe to have a horse like this around your nephews unless she gets some intensive training.”
Leah murmured something under her breath and nodded.
He’d always thought Nicole’s eldest sister was also smart, so maybe she would talk some sense into Nicole.
And maybe it was overstepping to think so, but he wasn’t sure this beautiful, fragile woman who acted so tough could stand to have her heart broken again.
* * *
Nicole fought tears at his words. But she wasn’t going to let Fernando—or anyone else—see her cry. Part of her wanted to scream at him and shake him for being such a thick-headed dolt. So he knew that giving up this horse would break her heart? And he wanted to help? Where was that help when her best friend was messing around with her fiancé?
Okay, fine. She got it. Fernando had called her time and again, begging for forgiveness and for the chance to make it up to her. So here it was. His chance to make things right.
But why did helping her horse have to be the means of fixing his guilt? What about her pain? Fernando got absolution, and she was still left alone, minus a best friend and the man she’d thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.
People liked to say that she was better off, and she didn’t disagree. But the problem with such deep betrayal was that now she no longer knew who to trust. It wasn’t like when you became friends with someone new, they would answer the question “Are you a man-stealing backstabber?” honestly.
The only people Nicole could trust were her two sisters, Erin and Leah, and, she supposed, since Leah had fallen in love with him despite her painful past, Shane.
Which left the animals. They didn’t lie to you, steal your fiancé, sneak behind your back or keep the kind of secrets that would break your heart.
She walked over to Snookie and gave her a pat. How was she supposed to give up on this horse, a sweet mare who just needed someone to love her? True, she did have her tantrums and liked to bite. She’d broken out of her stall more times than Nicole could count. And she’d even bitten one of the boys. That was the reason Shane had told her to get rid of Snookie.
But Nicole couldn’t bear it. Something inside her said that she and Snookie belonged together, and even though everyone told her she was crazy, she could feel Snookie speaking to her the day she got her.
She needed Snookie, and Snookie needed her.
Fernando came over and took her hand, placing it on Snookie’s flank. “Give her a firm rubbing here. It will help her feel more secure. She senses your emotions, and she needs to perceive that you’re not upset with her.”
The simple change of motion brought a shift to Snookie’s posture, relaxing her.
“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” Fernando said. “I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve only ever wished the best for you.”
Nicole stared at her feet. “I wish I could believe that, but I don’t know how to believe anyone anymore.”
“I understand,” he said softly. “Maybe it’s too much to ask you to have a little faith, but would you at least give me the chance to prove it to you? I can help your horse.”
He already had, getting Snookie to respond better in just a few short interactions than she had with weeks of training. But why did it have to be him?
Just this morning she’d been praying, asking God to help her find a way to keep Snookie. She’d even gone so far as to call some of the local boarding facilities, to see if they had space for her. But word had already gotten out about her misbehaving horse, and no one wanted to take a chance on having her there, disrupting their space.
Was God’s answer to her prayer really the person she despised the most in this world?
Fernando had gone around to the other side of Snookie and was touching her in swift, firm motions, like what she’d seen on some of the horse training videos.
“I’ve already done that with her,” Nicole said.
Fernando continued the motions, not looking at her as he said, “Not enough. You can’t rush or skip any of the steps in training a horse. It’s easy to think a horse is ready, but you must exercise patience to look for signs that will tell you when they really are.”
She’d heard one of the trainers on one of the videos say something similar, but he’d only spent fifteen minutes on this part of the training.
As Fernando continued with the exercise, his hands brushed her again, and she jumped back at the unexpected jolt.
“I’ll just get out of your way,” she said.
Fernando’s dark brown eyes were all too human in the emotions she thought she spied. She walked slowly backward to the fence, not liking the idea that Fernando was anyone other than the person she’d been vilifying over the past year.
But she couldn’t help looking. Seeing the dark hair with waves that would probably be similar to the gentle curls Adriana used to hate for being too unruly to do much with put a pang in her heart over the loss of her friend. It was hard not to notice how much Fernando resembled Adriana.
It was even harder noticing how he didn’t. Like the softness and gentleness in his face, and the tenderness with which he spoke to Snookie. And to Nicole.
Adriana used to say that he was the best big brother in the whole wide world and that she didn’t know how she could ever live without him. Watching Fernando now, Nicole couldn’t help remembering all the reasons she’d loved Adriana, and it made her heart hurt to allow that crack in the walls she’d kept around herself to numb the pain.
Because that’s what no one understood. Nicole had gone from one day believing that she was marrying an amazing man, and that she couldn’t imagine having a better best friend than Adriana, to realizing that they’d both betrayed her in the worst possible way. She’d lost so much and had no idea why.
“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” Leah said, nudging Nicole. “He’s like that guy Shane took us to see, only better.”
“I’m sure we can’t afford him. We couldn’t afford the other guy,” Nicole said.
“Maybe he’ll give us a friend discount.” Leah’s voice sounded hopeful, and it hurt to realize that her sister didn’t understand the problem.
“We’re not friends,” Nicole said.
Leah sighed. “It’s not good for you to keep holding a grudge. I get it. What his sister did was terrible, and yes, it was awful of him to not tell you. But anyone can see how bad he feels, and maybe, rather than taking your grief out on him, the two of you could grieve together?”
Nicole spun to face her sister. “What are you saying?”
“Did you ever think that he’s lost someone, too? That he’s also hurting? You keep making this all