‘Is it Ross?’ he asked as he sat her down in a chair and offered her the box of tissues off his desk.
‘How did you guess?’ Rachel blew her nose and tried to get a grip on herself. The situation was difficult for Matt too and she didn’t want to upset him as well.
‘Simple deduction, Watson. If you eliminate everything else, whatever you’re left with, no matter how improbable it seems, must be the solution.’
Despite herself Rachel laughed. ‘Is that a fact, Sherlock?’
‘It certainly is, Doctor.’ Matt smiled back her at her and her heart immediately lifted. She couldn’t deny that she was touched that he should try to cheer her up when he must be feeling extremely low himself.
‘So how is Ross holding up?’ he asked, placing the box of tissues back on the desk.
‘Fine, according to him.’ She shrugged when he looked quizzically at her. ‘You know Ross. He isn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He was the same when he was a child, very self-contained and serious…a little too serious, in fact.’
‘Did he have much contact with his father while he was growing up?’ Matt asked quietly, and Rachel tried to hide her surprise. It was the first time he had ever asked her a personal question like that in all the time they had worked together and she couldn’t help wondering what had prompted it that day.
‘None at all,’ she replied, determined that she wasn’t going to make too much of his sudden interest. Maybe he wanted to find out more about the past in the hope it would provide a clue as to how to bring Ross and Heather back together? If that was the case then she was all for it. She would do anything at all to see Ross happy again.
‘Ross’s father made it clear from the outset that he wasn’t interested in him,’ she explained truthfully. ‘I don’t blame him in a way because he was only eighteen when Ross was born. Not many boys of that age are ready to become fathers.’
‘You were very young to be a mother but you coped,’ Matt pointed out, and she sighed.
‘Yes, I know, although I wouldn’t have managed nearly as well if my parents hadn’t supported me. They were marvellous.’
‘It must have been hard, though, even with their help.’ Matt’s tone was gruff and she frowned when she heard it. She couldn’t help wondering why he sounded so uptight all of a sudden, apart from the obvious reason, of course. He must miss Heather dreadfully and the thought made her heart ache for him.
‘It wasn’t easy. Finding the time to study and look after Ross was a real juggle. Looking back, I don’t know how I fitted everything in.’ She gave a little laugh, hoping it would lighten the sombre mood. ‘If I had to do it now, I’d need a few more hours tagged onto the end of each day!’
‘I imagine you fitted it all in by dint of sheer hard work. You should be proud of yourself for what you’ve achieved, Rachel.’
‘I am extremely proud of Ross, although I can’t claim any credit for how he’s turned out,’ she said firmly. ‘Ross put in the effort himself.’
‘I don’t just mean raising Ross but what you’ve achieved.’ Matt leant forward and she could see the light in his eyes, a hint of fire she hadn’t noticed before and certainly hadn’t expected. Her heart gave a little bounce then started to race as he continued.
‘You must have worked incredibly hard to get through medical school. I remember how difficult it was to keep up with all the work and when you factor in a child as well…’ He shrugged. ‘Not many people could have done what you’ve done, Rachel.’
‘I always dreamed of being a doctor,’ she said quietly, deeply moved by the compliment. To know that Matt admired her made all the years of hard work and struggle seem even more worthwhile.
‘And you achieved your dream. You’re a damned fine doctor. Your patients couldn’t speak more highly of you.’
‘Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that,’ she murmured, feeling a little choked with emotion.
‘It’s nothing more than the truth. You should be proud of yourself. You’ve achieved everything you set out to do.’
Had she? she wondered. Had she really achieved every single dream she’d ever had? Just days ago Rachel would have agreed with him but she was no longer sure if it was true. Once upon a time she’d had other dreams for the future. She had buried them as deeply as she could over the years because there’d been no time to worry about them, but they were still there, maybe not as bright and as shiny as they had been, but still there.
Her heart caught as she looked at Matt and remembered all the hopes she’d had at one time for a happy marriage like her parents’, a loving relationship that would sustain her throughout the years. She had abandoned those dreams because she’d been afraid of what would happen if she allowed herself to fall in love again. She had done it once, fallen in love with Ross’s father, and it had been a disaster…Hadn’t it?
The thought pulled her up short. Having Ross hadn’t been a disaster, far from it. It had been a turning point. Knowing she’d had a child to provide for had given her the impetus she had needed, pushed her to make a good life for herself and her son. Without Ross, she might not have studied as hard, but made another mistake and fallen in love with someone else who might have held her back.
Rachel took a deep breath as she faced the facts, head on. Her life could have turned out very differently if she hadn’t had her son. For one thing, she might never have met Matt.
Matt decided to stay on after evening surgery ended. He wanted to make a start on that report Ambulance Control had requested while the facts were fresh in his mind. After all, it wasn’t as though there was anything to rush home for, was there?
His heart sank at the thought of returning to an empty house, although he knew that he would have to get used to it. With Heather gone he would be spending a lot of time on his own. He had just drafted out a rough timetable of events when there was a tap on his door and Rachel came into the room.
‘I spotted your light was still on as I was passing,’ she explained, coming over to the desk. She frowned when she saw the timetable he had made. ‘Is that about the accident?’
‘Yes. I thought I’d better make a start on that report.’
Matt glanced at the notes he had written, trying not to think about the fact that Rachel lived on her own as well. It had no relevance to his situation, especially as it was obviously her choice to do so. By no stretch of the imagination could he believe that she hadn’t had lots of offers to change her single status.
‘Do you need any help?’
Matt barely heard what she said. Not once in the all the time they had worked together had he wondered why Rachel was single, but now the question clamoured for his attention. She was a beautiful and highly intelligent woman and there must be lots of men keen to share their lives with her, so why had she resisted? Was it because she had never met anyone she had cared enough about to spend her life with?
Thoughts whizzed around inside his head. It was only when he realised that Rachel was waiting for him to answer that he pulled himself together. ‘It’s kind of you to offer, but I don’t expect you to give up your evening as well, Rachel.’
‘It’s not a big deal, Matt.’ She gave a little shrug. ‘And it isn’t as though I’ve anything better to do. In fact, I’d be glad to help, if I’m honest. It will stop me worrying about Ross if I have something else to think about.’
‘In that case, I’d be glad of your help. Thank you.’
Matt smiled up at her, feeling warmth ripple along his veins when she smiled back. She pulled up a chair and sat down beside him, leaning over so she could