‘I know. And I understand how you feel, really I do.’
Matt reached across the table and squeezed her hand. Her hand was so small that his seemed to engulf it and it surprised him how it made him feel—overwhelmed with tenderness and a need to protect her. He cleared his throat but he could hear the roughness in his voice even if Rachel couldn’t.
‘It’s a difficult time for both Heather and Ross but I’m sure they will work things out in the end.’
He withdrew his hand, unsure what was happening and why he felt this way. This was Rachel, he reminded himself, someone he had worked with for a number of years, a trusted colleague as well as a friend. However, the description no longer seemed to fit as accurately as it had done in the past; there seemed to be an extra dimension to Rachel he had never noticed before.
He frowned because that wasn’t quite true. If he was honest, his view of her had been changing for a while now. They had spent a lot of time together in recent months planning for the wedding and he had found himself looking forward to it too. She wasn’t just a colleague and a friend any longer. He was very much aware that she was a woman as well and a very attractive woman too.
The thought stunned him. For the first time since his wife had died Matt realised that he was aware of another woman’s femininity and he couldn’t believe that the feelings he had believed long dead were very much alive. His whole body suffused with heat all of a sudden because he was powerless to stop what was happening. When he looked at Rachel, sitting here at his table, what he saw, first and foremost, was a woman he wanted to put his arms around. A woman he wanted to make love to.
Chapter Two
‘SORRY. I know this is just as difficult for you as it is for me, Matt.’
Rachel plucked a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was to make the situation even more stressful for Matt.
‘There’s nothing to apologise for,’ Matt said swiftly, and she looked at him in dismay when she realised how strange he sounded. It wasn’t that he sounded angry or even upset, just…odd.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked anxiously, leaning forward so she could get a better look at his face. It was early December and the nights soon drew in at this time of the year. They hadn’t switched on any lights and Matt’s face was in shadow, making it difficult for her to see his expression clearly.
‘Yes. Just a bit shaken by what’s happened, I suppose,’ he replied, and she was relieved to hear him sounding more like he usually did this time.
‘You and me both. I was stunned when Ross told me this morning the wedding had been called off.’ She gave a little sigh. ‘I still find it hard to understand why it’s happened, if I’m honest. I always thought he and Heather were a perfect match, didn’t you?’
‘Ye-es.’
Rachel frowned when Matt seemed to hesitate. ‘That sounded almost as though you had your doubts. Did you?’
‘Not before this happened, no. However, now I’m not so sure.’
He stood up and switched on the light then sat down again. Rachel could see a glimmer of some emotion in his green eyes that she found it difficult to interpret.
‘You don’t think their marriage would have worked?’ she said slowly, struggling to digest the idea.
‘The honest answer is that I don’t know any more. I thought they were ideally suited too, but I was thinking about it while I was making the coffee and I realised there was always something missing, that spark which makes a relationship truly special.’
‘Do you really think so?’ she said in surprise.
‘Yes, I do. I only wish I’d realised it sooner. I wouldn’t have pushed them into getting married then.’
‘You didn’t push them, Matt!’ she exclaimed. ‘It was their decision and it had nothing to do with you or anyone else for that matter.’
‘I wish I could believe that but I have a horrible feeling that I’m more than partly responsible for this mess.’
‘Rubbish!’ She glared at him when he looked at her in surprise. ‘I’m sorry but that’s exactly what it is—complete and utter rubbish. They’re both old enough to know their own minds. It wouldn’t have mattered a jot what you thought.’
‘Let’s hope you’re right.’ He gave her a quick smile although Rachel could tell that he wasn’t convinced. Matt obviously blamed himself for what had happened and that must make the situation even more difficult for him.
There was little she could say to persuade him otherwise, however, so she let the matter drop, talking about what had happened down by the canal instead. They had treated at least a dozen people who had been injured in the accident and it was always useful to compare notes after the event. It was only when Rachel heard the hall clock strike the hour that she realised it was time she left.
‘I’d better be off,’ she announced, standing up.
‘I’ll run you home,’ Matt offered straight away, following her into the hall. He had collected her in his car along with the rest of the team from the surgery and ferried them to the site of the accident, which was why Rachel didn’t have her own car with her. However, as she lived only a ten-minute walk away she immediately protested.
‘There’s no need, Matt. I can easily walk home from here. There’s no point dragging you out of the house.’
‘No, it’s dark outside and I don’t want you walking down that lane on your own.’ He took his coat off the hallstand before she could protest any further and she gave in. There was no point making an issue out of it, was there?
It took them a bare five minutes to drive to her home. She had bought the cottage when she had moved to Dalverston and had spent a lot of time and effort restoring it over the last few years. She had always loved the cottage’s quirkiness and its sense of history, not to mention its location, backing onto the river. However, she had to admit that the sight of the darkened windows made her heart sink a little as they drew up outside.
Normally it didn’t bother her that she lived on her own. She’d had Ross while she was still in her teens, getting pregnant the first time she had slept with her boyfriend. Ross’s father had been just a year older than her, far too young to want to accept responsibility for the child he had fathered.
With her parents’ help, Rachel had brought Ross up, working hard to give them both a good life. Getting through medical school had taken a huge amount of determination with a young child to care for but she had succeeded and it had got easier as Ross had grown older. However, one thing she had never factored into her busy life was time for a proper relationship.
She’d had a couple of affairs over the years, and still dated occasionally, but that was all. Although the few men she had been involved with had appeared perfect on paper, she had never been tempted to commit to a long-term relationship with any of them. Quite frankly, she hadn’t had any inclination to fall in love with all its attendant pitfalls, especially not after her first disastrous experience. She had been perfectly happy with her life the way it was…
Or so she had thought.
Rachel’s breath caught as the doubts slid into her mind. She had everything she had ever dreamed of having, a job she loved, a son she adored, a comfortable home, so what on earth could be missing? Surely she didn’t wish that she had someone to come home to, someone who would be waiting for her with a smile and a hug?
‘Here we are, then. Want me to come in with you and check everything’s all right?’