‘But—oh, I don’t know, darling. I feel guilty for not being happier about it. I’m a really ungrateful cow.’
‘That’s all right. Hathor is the cow goddess.’
‘Yes, she’s a cow—but I’m not Hathor. I’m Janine. And Amos isn’t the falcon god. He’s just my husband. If only he saw it that way.’
She spoke with a sigh that made Freya sit beside her on the bed and say, ‘You didn’t really enjoy it, did you? Most women would have loved being given such a magnificent gift like that in front of everyone.’
‘But that’s just it. In front of everyone. If we’d been alone, just the two of us, and he’d spoken from his heart, it would have meant so much more.’
‘Perhaps he thought you’d enjoy being in the spotlight?’
‘No, the spotlight was all for himself. He was making a grand gesture and he wanted everyone to know it. What you saw tonight wasn’t about Hathor receiving a gift. It was about the falcon god making a splendid gesture in the eyes of the world.’
‘But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings about it,’ Freya protested. ‘It’s nice that he took the trouble and spent all that money.’
‘The money’s nothing to him. As for trouble— the shop assistant did all the real work. That’s what was going on all day.’
‘Mum, why are you so determined to see this in a bad light?’
‘Perhaps because I want so badly to believe he did it out of true feelings. But I know Amos too well for that.’
‘Maybe there’s more to him than you think. Maybe his feelings are true and this is just his way of expressing them.’
‘Thank you, darling, but it’s not that simple. Ever since I discovered what he did about Dan I’ve seen him in a different light.’
‘But why? You already knew what he was like.’
‘Yes, but that seemed to cast an extra cloud and I can’t shake it off. It’s terribly confusing. I simply never know what’s going to happen next.’
‘Mmm...’ Freya nodded.
‘Goodnight, darling. I won’t keep you awake any longer.’
When Janine had gone Freya sat by the window, too restless to sleep. Her mother was right. With Amos you never knew what would happen next. Which was also true of Jackson, she reflected. Recent events had taught her that with a vengeance.
* * *
The next day work at the temple proceeded well, and suddenly Larry came up with a sizzling idea.
‘Horus is a falcon,’ he told Jackson. ‘You’re a Falcon. Your father is a Falcon. The viewers will see the connection between Jackson Falcon and the falcon god, so we’ll have to say something. And we’ll bring your father on for a quick mention. It won’t take over the show, but you can interview him in front of the statue and we’ll have a little innocent fun. Do you think he’ll be up for it?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Jackson said fervently. ‘I think he’ll be up for it.’
As expected, Amos was enthusiastic. The scene was set up quickly, with only a slight hiccup when he tried to insist that Janine should be included.
‘If Horus is there Hathor should be there too,’ he declared.
Larry would have yielded, but it was Janine who killed the idea.
‘You do it, darling,’ she told Amos. ‘I just wouldn’t feel easy in front of the cameras.’
‘Oh, nonsense! I’ll be there to look after you. You must be part of this.’
‘I said no. I don’t belong in this. That’s it. Finished.’
Janine walked away, leaving him thunderstruck.
‘You’d think nobody had ever said no to him before,’ Freya murmured from the sidelines, where she was standing with Jackson.
‘They’ve tried, but without success,’ he replied. ‘Janine can mess with his head so that he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going. And nobody’s ever done that before.’
Things calmed down enough for the project to go forward. The camera was put in place, Jackson conducted a brief, good-natured interview with his father, and everyone was pleased.
But when Freya went looking for Amos afterwards she couldn’t find him. Nor was there any sight of him until it was time to leave for the hotel. As soon as he was aboard the coach he appeared to go to sleep—not with his head resting on Janine’s shoulder, but turning the other way, leaning against the window.
Freya wondered how much asleep he really was.
She wished she knew what was really going on between her mother and Amos.
Back at the hotel, Amos vanished again. There was no doubt that he was avoiding everyone, but most of all he was avoiding his wife.
Freya found him at last in the garden, drinking coffee alone at a table beneath a tree.
‘Can I join you?’ she asked, sitting beside him without waiting for an answer.
He nodded and made an unconvincing effort at a smile.
‘What’s the matter?’ Freya asked. ‘Tell me what’s troubling you, Dad?’
He sighed. ‘It troubles me when you call me Dad—after what I did to you.’
‘Did to me?’ she asked carefully.
‘Don’t pretend you don’t know—about Dan, how I tried to make him back off. If I’d had the sense to keep quiet and— Well, everything would be better.’
She stared, wondering if she could have heard right. Amos, famed for his bullying and self-righteousness, was actually admitting that he’d got something wrong? Impossible.
‘You do know what I mean, don’t you?’ Amos persisted. ‘Jackson told you, and you told your mother.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘I was just outside the door.’
‘You were—?’
‘I couldn’t tell anyone what I’d heard, but I’ve wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I know how much in love with him you were, and but for me he might have proposed for the right reasons.’
‘No, I don’t think he would,’ she said.
‘Then you must really resent me for the way I’ve made you suffer.’
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jackson appear and move slowly towards them, remaining in the shadows.
‘But I don’t resent you,’ she said. ‘I’m over Dan, and I’ve even begun to wonder if I was ever really in love with him.’
‘That’s kind of you, but—’
‘No, I mean it. He dazzled me. Suddenly all the lights seemed to come on in my life and everything was different, more exciting. I really enjoyed that, but it’s not love. It’s a bit like going on an exotic holiday, but it comes to an end and you return to reality. Don’t worry about me. My heart’s not broken.’
‘You don’t know how glad it makes me to hear that. And, my dear, before we go back, I’d rather your mother didn’t know that I was listening when—well, you know.’
Freya understood perfectly. Janine had spoken frankly about the doubts she sometimes had about him, and he cringed at the thought of admitting that he’d heard that.
‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘I won’t tell her.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’