‘I took the scenic route down the coast. It was lunchtime when I saw the turn-off, and—’
Lizzie put up her hand to halt her. ‘I suspected it, but now I get it. This is about Ben Morgan, isn’t it? What else would the attraction be here? And don’t even think about lying, because you’re blushing.’
‘I have caught up with Ben. Yes.’
Lizzie took a step closer. ‘You’ve done a lot more than “caught up” with Ben, haven’t you?’
Sandy rolled her eyes skyward and laughed. Then she filled her sister in on what had happened since she’d driven her Beetle down the main street of Dolphin Bay. Including Ida’s offer to sell her Bay Books, but excluding Ben’s decision not to have any more children.
‘So, are you going to stay here with Ben?’ Lizzie asked.
Sandy shrugged. ‘We’re testing the waters of what it might be like. But I feel the same way about him as I did back then.’
Lizzie stayed silent for a long moment before she spoke again. ‘You’re not just getting all sentimental about the past because of what happened with Jason?’
Sandy shook her head. ‘Absolutely not. It’s nothing to do with that. Just about me and Ben.’
Just mentioning their names together made her heart flip.
‘I remember what it was like between you. Man, you were crazy about each other.’
Sandy clutched her sister’s arm. Lizzie had to believe that what she’d rediscovered with Ben was the real deal. ‘It’s still there, Lizzie, that feeling between us. We took up where we left off. I’m so happy to have found him again. Even if these few days are all we have. And I don’t give a toss about Jason.’
‘I’m thrilled for you—truly I am. I always liked Ben. And I love this shop. It would be cool to own it. Way better than candles.’ Lizzie shifted from foot to foot. ‘But now I’ve brought up the J word I have to tell you something. You’re going to hear it sooner or later, and I’d rather you heard it from me.’
Sandy frowned. ‘Is it about the wedding?’ She hadn’t given it another thought.
‘More about the bump under What’s-Her-Name’s wedding gown.’
Sandy had to hold on to the edge of the closest bookshelf. ‘You mean—?’
‘They’re not admitting to it. But the wedding guests are betting there’ll be a J-Junior coming along in about five months’ time.’
Sandy felt the blood drain from her face. Not that she gave a flying fig for That-Jerk-Jason. But envy of his new bride shook her. Not envy of her having Jason’s baby. The thought of anyone other than Ben touching her repulsed her. But envy because she would never be the one with a proudly displayed bump, would never bear Ben’s child.
‘Are you okay, Sandy?’
Sandy took a deep breath, felt the colour rush back into her face. ‘Of course I’m okay. It’s a bit of a shock, that’s all.’
Lizzie hugged her. ‘Maybe you’ll be next, if you end up with Ben. You’re thirty now—you won’t want to leave it too long.’
‘Of course not,’ said Sandy, her voice trailing away.
Lizzie was just the first to say it. If, in some hypothetical future, she and Ben decided to stay together it would start. First it would be, So when are you two tying the knot? followed by, Are you putting on weight or have you got something to tell us?
Would she would be able to endure her friends’ pregnancy excitement, birth stories, christenings, first-day-at-school sob-stories? All the while knowing she could never share them?
She understood Ben’s stance against having another child. Was aware of the terrible place it came from. But she couldn’t help but wonder if to start a relationship with Ben predicated on it being a relationship without children would mean a doomed relationship. It might be okay to start with, but as the years went by might she come to blame him? To resent him?
‘You sure you’re okay?’ asked Lizzie. ‘You look flushed.’
‘Really, I’m fine.’ Sandy fanned her face with both hands. ‘It’s hot. I suspect this rattly old air-conditioner is on its last legs.’
‘You could put in a new one if you bought the business.’
‘I guess...’ she said, filled with sudden new doubt.
Holding Amy in her arms, hearing about Jason’s bride’s bump, had shaken her confidence in a long-term relationship with Ben that didn’t include starting a family.
She changed the subject. ‘What are you guys planning on doing? Can you stay tonight?’
‘That depends on you. I promised Amy I’d take her to see the white lions at Mogo Zoo. Then we could come back here, have dinner with you and Ben, stay the night and go home tomorrow.’
‘That would be amazing. Let’s book you into Ben’s gorgeous hotel.’
When had her thoughts changed from Hotel Hideous to ‘Ben’s gorgeous hotel’?
She didn’t feel guilty about putting the ‘Back in Ten Minutes’ sign up on the bookshop door—Ida had quite a collection of signs, covering all contingencies. It was hot and stuffy inside Bay Books and she was beginning to feel claustrophobic.
And she wanted to see Ben again, to be reassured that loving him would be enough.
* * *
Ben was stunned to see Sandy coming towards Reception with a little girl. The child was clutching one of Bay Books’ brown paper bags with one hand and holding on tight to Sandy’s hand with the other. All the while she kept up a steady stream of childish chatter and Sandy looked down to reply, her face tender and her eyes warm with love.
That newly tuned engine of his heart spluttered and stalled at the sight. It looked natural and right to see Sandy hand in hand with a child. The little girl might be her daughter.
Anguish tore through him. Liam would have been around the same age if he’d lived. He could not go there. Getting past what would have been Liam’s first birthday had seen him alone in his room with a bottle of bourbon. The other anniversaries had been only marginally better.
Sandy caught sight of him and greeted him with a big smile. Was he imagining that it didn’t reach her eyes? He forced himself to smile back, to act as though the sight of her with a child had not affected him.
He pulled her into a big hug. His need to keep their relationship private from the gossiping eyes of Dolphin Bay was in the past. He’d been warmed and gratified by the good wishes he’d been given since the night of the Chamber of Commerce dance. He hadn’t realised just how concerned his family and friends had been about him.
‘This is my niece, Amy,’ Sandy said. ‘Amy, this is my friend Ben.’
Ben hunkered down to Amy’s height. ‘Hi, Amy. Welcome to Dolphin Bay.’
‘I like dolphins,’ Amy said. ‘They smile. I like crocodiles too. I’ve got a new crocodile book.’ She thrust the brown paper bag towards him.
‘That’s good,’ Ben said awkwardly. He was out of practice with children. Hadn’t been able to deal with them since he’d lost Liam.
Sandy rescued him from further stilted conversation. ‘Do you remember my sister, Lizzie?’ she asked, indicating the tall blonde woman who had joined them.
‘Of course I remember you, Lizzie,’ he said as he shook hands. Though, truth be told, back then he’d been so caught up with Sandy he’d scarcely noticed Lizzie, attractive though she was.
‘Who would have thought I’d see you two together again after all these years?’ said Lizzie.
‘Yes,’