The scent that filled his nostrils was not leaking fuel and death but the scent of cheap perfume and the absence of her.
He wanted to chase Estelle—except he was not foolish enough to get in a car, and he could not follow her as his driver was taking her to the airport.
Raúl called a taxi, but even as he climbed in he knew she would not want him with her on the flight. Knew he would be simply delaying her in getting to where she needed to be. They passed De La Fuente Holdings and he looked up, trying to imagine it without his father and Angela, and with Luka working there. Trying to fathom a future that right now he could not see.
Noticing a light on, he asked the driver to stop…
‘Raúl!’
Angela tried not to raise her eyes as a very dishevelled Raúl appeared from the elevator.
He was unshaven, his eyes bloodshot. His hair was a mess, and there was lipstick on his collar…
It was the Raúl she knew well.
‘What are you doing here at this time, Raúl?’
‘I saw the light on,’ Raúl said. ‘Estelle’s niece is sick.’
‘I am sorry to hear that. Where is Estelle?’
‘Flying back to London.’
‘You should be with her, then.’ Angela refused to mince her words. He might not want to hear what she had to say to him—he could leave if that were the case.
‘She didn’t want me to go.’
‘So you hit the clubs and picked up a puta?’
‘No.’
‘Don’t lie to me, Raúl,’ Angela said. ‘Your wife would never wear cheap perfume like that.’
‘I wouldn’t cheat on her. I couldn’t.’
Angela paused. Really, the evidence was clear—and yet she knew Raúl better than most and he did not lie. Raúl never attempted to defend the inexcusable.
‘So what happened?’ Angela asked.
He closed his eyes in shame.
‘You know, when you live as a mistress apparently you lose the right to an opinion on others—but of course you have them.’ Harsh was the look she gave Raúl. ‘Over and over I question your morals.’
‘Over and over I do too,’ Raúl admitted. ‘She got too close.’
‘That’s what couples do.’
‘I did not cheat. I wanted her to think that I had.’
‘So now she does.’ Angela looked at him. ‘So now she’s on her own, dealing with her family.’
Angela watched his eyes fill with tears and she tried not to love him as a son, tried not to forgive when she should not. But when he told her what had happened, told her what he had done, the filthy place his head had been, she believed him.
‘You push away everyone who loves you. What are you scared of, Raúl?’
‘This,’ Raúl admitted. ‘Hurting another, being responsible for another…’
‘We are responsible for ourselves,’ Angela said. ‘I have made mistakes. Now I pay for them. Now I have till the morning to clear out my office. Now your aunt and uncle turn their backs on me. I would do it all again, though, for the love I had with your father. Some things I would do differently, of course, but I would do it all again.’
‘What would you do differently?’
‘I would have insisted you were told far sooner about your father and I. I would have told you about your brother,’ she said. ‘We were going to before you went to university, but your father decided not to at the last moment. I regret that. I should have stood up to him. I should have told you myself. I did not. And I have to live with that. What would you have done differently, Raúl?’
‘Not have gone to Sol’s.’ He gave a small smile. ‘And many, many other things. But that is the main one now.’
‘You need to go to her. You need to tell her what happened—why you did what you did.’
‘She doesn’t want to hear it,’ Raúl said. ‘There are more important things on her mind.’
He could not bring himself to tell Angela that their marriage was a fake. If this was fake, then it hurt too much.
And if it was not fake, then it was real.
‘If you are not there for her now, with her niece so ill, then it might be too late.’
Raúl nodded. ‘She has my plane.’
‘I will book you on a commercial flight,’ Angela said. ‘You need to freshen up.’
He headed to his office, stared in the mirror and picked up his razor. He called his thanks as she brought him in coffee and a fresh shirt.
‘This is the last time I do this for you.’
‘Maybe not,’ Raúl said. ‘Maybe your sons might have a say in that.’
Angela’s eyes welled up for a moment as finally he acknowledged the place she had in his heart. But then she met his eyes and told him, ‘I meant this is the last time I help you cover up a mistake. Estelle deserves more.’
‘She will get it.’
‘Your father was so pleased to see how you two were together,’ Angela said. ‘He was the most peaceful I have ever seen him. He knew he had not allowed time for you and Luka to sort things out, but you are brothers and he believes that will happen. The morning he passed away we were watching you and Estelle walking in the hills. We saw you stop and kiss.’
Raúl closed his eyes as he remembered that day, when for the first time in his life he had been on the edge of admitting love.
‘He knew you were happy. I am so glad that I told him about the baby.’
Raúl froze.
‘Baby?’
There was no mistaking his bewilderment.
‘She has not told you?’
‘No!’ Raúl could not take it in. ‘She told you?’
‘No,’ Angela said. ‘I just knew. She did not have any wine; she was sick in the morning…’
Yes, Estelle was tough.
Yes, she could do this without him.
He did not want her to.
‘Book the flight.’
‘RAÚL!’
The only possible advantage to being in the midst of a family crisis was that no one noticed the snap to her voice or the tension on Estelle’s features when a clean-shaven, lipstick-free Raúl walked in.
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.’ He shook Andrew’s hand.
‘No, we’re grateful to you for getting Estelle here,’ Andrew said. ‘We’re very sorry about your father.’
It was strange, but in a crisis it was Andrew who was the strong one. Amanda barely looked up.
‘Is she in surgery?’ Raúl sat down next to Estelle and put his arm around her. He felt her shoulders stiffen.
‘An hour ago.’ Her words were stilted. ‘It could be several hours yet.’
The clock ticked on.
Raúl read every poster on the wall and