The explosion of that sensation that had sent shafts of desire into every cell of her body when she’d seen the reflection of her own desire in Nico’s eyes. When she’d felt his fingers steadying her head for the kiss that had sent her straight over the edge.
Into that abyss of fear and self-loathing. The feeling of falling without a parachute, knowing that death was inevitable, as she’d uttered the words that had been her confession of her inadequacies as a woman.
The soft cloud that had gathered and cushioned that fall…first with Nico’s words of reassurance and then the physical invitation to see how right they’d been.
And…oh…Charlotte had never known it could be like that. Maybe she’d had fragments of glimpsing it from haunting, erotic dreams but this had been reality.
Or had it?
Shifting a little in her bunk, Charlotte could feel the sweet, inner tenderness that could only be the result of having been passionately loved. With a small sound that was almost a groan, she let herself sink into the last sensation she remembered. Of falling asleep in Nico’s arms again but this time feeling as though it was the only place in the world she could ever want to be. Falling asleep with the utter bliss of knowing those arms would still be around her when she woke.
Except they weren’t.
How had Nico managed to extricate himself from this tiny space without waking her? He must have been very determined not to, which meant that he’d wanted to be alone.
Why? Did he regret what had happened between them?
Well…why wouldn’t he? For heaven’s sake, he’d been sucked into her private life because of her meltdowns in front of him. She’d cried all over him. Twice! He’d seen her with her panda eyes and he’d heard all the sordid details of her mortifying past. He must think she was needy and pathetic virtually all the time.
Did he think that she might remain clingy? That she would try and keep him in her life longer than the period they’d agreed on? Ask him for more than he was prepared to give?
It was odd but the notion of being seen as pathetic and clingy was worse than revealing herself as physically frigid. Nico had shown her that what she’d believed about herself had been so not true.
What she needed to do was show him that any fears about how else she might behave were also untrue. She was in love with him, certainly, but that was her problem. It didn’t need to be Nico’s and he didn’t deserve it to be. Not after giving her a gift so far beyond price by restoring her self-esteem.
Creating the magic that had been her night on the Orient Express.
She would have to thank him, of course, but she had to do it in a way that let him know he was not under any further obligation to her. And she needed to make him believe it. To present herself in a way that showed confidence and independence. The way she presented herself at a conference might be a good start.
With a determined shove Charlotte got rid of the bed covers and climbed out of the bunk. Finding herself naked was a reality check that made her blush. She’d never slept naked in her life and the comfort zone of well-fitting clothes had to be her first priority. Washing her face in the tiny corner basin a short time later, she eyed herself in the mirror. The smudged make-up and rat’s-nest hair that advertised a night of totally wanton behaviour were the next things she had to take control of. Only then would she be able to face her day.
And Nico.
He was going to have to face Charlotte at some point. Having caught a few hours’ sleep on the seat in the daytime area of the suite and making sure he was not there when Charlotte woke up, Nico had successfully whiled away a good portion of the morning with coffee and newspapers in the bar car.
Brunch was being served already in the dining cars and there was still no sign of Charlotte or Lady Geraldine. It wouldn’t be that long before they reached Calais and would have to board the buses for travel to England via the channel tunnel. There would be no private cabins on the train leg to London, during which they would apparently be served afternoon tea, and they would be going in different directions as soon they reached Victoria.
Nico could well imagine how chaotic it was going to be in that huge station on Christmas Eve. It probably wasn’t going to be much less private from the time they had to share a bus with dozens of other people. If he wanted a conversation alone with Charlotte, he would have to do something about it now. Clearly, she wasn’t planning to come and find him this morning.
Their suite was empty and Lady Geraldine’s door was closed but Nico tapped on it anyway. It was after ten a.m. Surely Jendi would be up and about by now?
Charlotte opened the door. For a long moment they simply stared at each other. Nico had to process the startling change from when he’d last seen Charlotte, asleep with her glorious hair spread across the crisp, white pillowcase, her lips devoid of any artificial colouring and swollen from so many kisses.
He was facing Dr Highton right now. Dressed in that power suit he’d first seen her in when she’d been on her way to the symposium. She had her hair scraped back into that complicated knot arrangement that gave her the look of an air hostess and her make-up was perfect. No smudged mascara from tears being shed and her perfect lipstick made it look as though her lips had never been licked, let alone kissed.
And, apart from a flash of something that was gone too quickly to analyse, even her gaze looked professional. Impersonal enough to make Nico take a mental step backwards, at any rate.
‘Is everything all right? It’s…getting quite late.’
Charlotte wasn’t meeting his gaze now. ‘I can’t believe I slept so late,’ she said, loudly enough for her grandmother to overhear. ‘No wonder you went off to find some breakfast. There’s something about the motion of a train, isn’t there? It makes you sleep so well.’
Nico raised an eyebrow. Surely Charlotte would realise that he’d had virtually no sleep.
‘Is that Nico?’ Lady Geraldine called. ‘Bring him in, Charlotte Jane, for goodness’ sake.’
There wasn’t room for three people to sit. Charlotte remained standing as well.
‘How are you this morning, Jendi?’ Nico enquired politely. ‘Did you sleep well, too?’
‘Not bad.’
Nico could feel the tension emanating from Charlotte. She didn’t believe that and she could be right. Lady Geraldine did look rather pale and she was gripping the windowsill with one hand, as though the movement of the train was making her uncomfortable.
‘Apparently there was a baby boy born on the train last night, have you heard?’
‘No…really?’ Lady Geraldine turned and was unable to disguise her wince of pain. She ignored it, however, and her expression suggested that everybody else had better follow her example. ‘How do you know?’
‘The steward in the bar told me when he gave me the newspapers. He said that we’d be reading about the unexpected event on the Orient Express very soon. I actually heard it crying late in the night when I was walking through the carriage. Apparently the young girl had disguised her condition very well, by wearing a large, old-fashioned coat.’
‘Oh…I think I saw that girl at the station in Venice,’ Charlotte said.
‘What on earth were you doing, walking around the train in the middle of the night?’ Lady Geraldine asked.
‘I needed to stretch my legs,’ Nico said, after a moment’s awkward silence. ‘The bunks are…rather small, aren’t they?’
‘Depends on what you’re doing.’ Lady Geraldine managed a smile. ‘I’m delighted that Charlotte felt the need to sleep in, I must say. It’s probably been years since she hasn’t been up at the crack of dawn.’
There