“So, your mom loves you very much, young man,” Megan said, offering her index finger for the baby to grasp. “But she’s left you here with me…of all people. Any idea why?”
In response to the sound of her voice, Matthew kicked his legs even faster, then screwed up his darling little face and began to fuss.
“Okay, okay, we’ll talk about your mom later,” she murmured, shifting sideways on the sofa so she could set him down beside her. “Right now, we’ll change your diaper and get you a little something to eat. How does that sound?”
With the supplies provided, Megan replaced Matthew’s soggy diaper with a dry one. Then she fished out a can of formula, a bottle and disposable liner from the diaper bag, and with Matthew nestled securely against her shoulder, she headed for the kitchen.
It had been a long time since she had prepared a baby’s bottle single-handedly, but apparently the skill, once learned, was never really forgotten. After a quick warm-up of the bottle, they were back on the living room sofa where Matthew eagerly sucked down the formula in slow, steady gulps.
Watching him, Megan recalled all the times she had fed her own baby in much the same way. She had been able to breast-feed Will, though. Just remembering the urgent tug of his tiny mouth made her breasts tingle instinctively. He had been such a hearty eater….
Drawing a deep, steadying breath, Megan once again willed away the memories that were still too raw, too painful for her to dwell upon. Recalling, instead, the wording of the note she’d stuffed into the pocket of her shorts, she frowned thoughtfully.
Please, please take care of my baby for me.
She could think of nothing she would rather do than care for Matthew…today, tomorrow and every day thereafter. Holding him close, inhaling his sweet baby scent as she listened to the soft sounds he made as he nursed, she could almost believe that she had been given a second chance, that she had her own baby back again.
In her heart of hearts, she knew better, though. Just as she also knew that she couldn’t allow herself to pretend, even for a few moments, that Matthew was her child to keep.
He had only been left in her care temporarily. He had a mother. A mother who would surely come back for him before too long.
Matthew had been cared for with such obvious consideration that Megan couldn’t believe he had been casually abandoned on her doorstep. His mother had wanted him to be safe and secure, and for reasons yet to be determined, she had chosen Megan to look out for him. But only until she was able to provide for him again herself.
Becoming too attached to him in the meantime would be a big mistake. She had lost one child. She wasn’t about to set herself up for the pain of losing another.
As she had when she’d first found the baby on her front porch, Megan wondered who Matthew’s mother might be. Again, she had to admit that she had no idea at all. Nor did she have any idea why she had been chosen to provide his safekeeping. Surely his mother must know other women in Serenity more capable of caring for a baby. Women his mother had to know better than she knew Megan Cahill.
When Matthew finished the last of the formula in his bottle, Megan set it aside, lifted him to her shoulder and gently patted his back. He rewarded her with a series of hearty burps, making her smile. Then he snuggled against her with a tiny, contented yawn.
“What a good baby you are,” she murmured, brushing her lips against the top of his downy head. “What a good, good baby…”
As she continued to pat his back, Matthew stuck one little fist in his mouth and closed his eyes.
“So, you’re ready for a nap, are you?” she asked. “And here I thought you could give me some idea of what we should do next. She’s your mother, after all. Do you think we ought to wait here in case she decides to come back for you? Or should we turn you over to the proper authorities without delay?
“I’m tempted to wait here for a while, sweet baby—so very, very tempted. But I’m not really the best person to look after you, no matter what your mother thinks. How about giving her an hour or two? Then I think we’d better take a little walk to the police station.”
Matthew’s deep, even breathing was the only reply Megan received.
“Okay, that’s what we’ll do, then,” she decided as she stood and headed for the staircase leading to the second floor of the house.
In fact, the Serenity police station was the last place Megan wanted to go that morning. Under the circumstances, however, it was also the best place she could go. That was where she would most likely find the one person capable of helping her track down Matthew’s mother.
Unfortunately, Serenity’s chief of police, Jake Cahill, also happened to be her ex-husband.
Megan had been avoiding Jake ever since he had returned to Serenity a year ago. He had given up a rewarding career as an FBI agent to take a job that he couldn’t possibly find fulfilling. A gesture of reconciliation, or so he had seemed to have wanted her to believe. But it had been too little, much, much too late. As she had told him plainly the one time he had come to the house to see her.
Jake had abandoned her when she had needed him the most, just as her parents had done when she was a child. They hadn’t thought twice about flying off to a Third World country to cover a military coup, and she’d been left an orphan. And Jake hadn’t thought twice about going undercover for weeks at a time to catch a killer, leaving her to cope alone with a sick child.
Megan knew she hadn’t occupied a very important place in her parents’ lives. Too late, she had realized, as well, that she—and Will—hadn’t occupied a very important place in Jake’s life, either.
Leaving Jake had been the only way she’d been able to cope with that knowledge. And shutting him out when he finally followed her back to Serenity had been the only way she could keep from falling under his spell again.
She had loved him once—loved him and trusted him with all her heart. She hadn’t been about to let him lure her into doing it again, no matter how sad and lonely she had been without him in her life.
While Megan couldn’t allow herself to trust Jake personally, she knew, however, that as a law enforcement officer she could trust him to look out for Matthew’s best interests. After all, Jake, like her parents, had always put his job first.
At the top of the stairs, Megan paused and eyed the closed door of the bedroom she had studiously ignored since moving into the house she’d rented, partially furnished, from her friend and former foster sister, Emma, just two years ago.
When Emma and her husband, air force colonel Sam Griffin, had moved to Colorado Springs, Megan had arranged to have most of Emma’s furniture shipped to them. But Emma had asked Megan to donate the baby furniture in the spare room to one of the local churches, a task that Megan was still unable to take on.
Believing that someone less fortunate than she might benefit from her loss, thus making that loss a little easier to bear, she had given away Will’s baby furniture before moving back to Serenity. Standing quietly, watching as her precious child’s belongings had been carried out of the town house, she’d felt as if her heart was being ripped from her chest. Supervising the removal of another crib, dresser and changing table had been more than she could bring herself to do.
Now, as fate would have it, she had a crib all ready for Matthew. Well, not exactly ready. After months of neglect, the spare room was too musty and dusty for a baby. And it would be foolish to take the time to tidy it up when she would only be responsible for him another hour or so at the most.
Putting Matthew down on her bed, with pillows on either side of him serving as bolsters, would be much easier, she decided, moving past the closed door. And if he began to fuss while she took a shower, she would be better able to hear him if he were in her bedroom.
Better to keep things as simple as possible, and to remain matter-of-fact, Megan reminded herself. By afternoon, the baby would either be reunited with