Millie had ignored the twinge in her heart as she’d readily agreed with his vision for their future. This world was too unpredictable, too cruel, for dreams of sappy emotions and love. Millie and her child needed shelter. Food.
Adam was providing those things, and it would be enough.
Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair congratulated them and then returned to the boardinghouse, but not before Mrs. Sinclair invited Millie to “come and visit at any time.” Millie forced a smile and said she would.
She wouldn’t actually do so, though. The notebook in her case contained a very long list of things Millie needed to do, and making friends wasn’t anywhere on it.
“Are you ready to go?” Adam touched her arm as he spoke, and Millie flinched. The unexpected contact was made even more startling by the fact that Millie had been so far gone inside her head that she hadn’t noticed his approach. That needed to stop. Things would not get done unless she did them, and that left no room for daydreaming and wandering thoughts.
“Yes. My case is all packed. I just need to get it from the boardinghouse.”
“Sounds good.” Adam placed a hand at the small of her back and almost led her across the street. What was he thinking? For a man who had written in black and white that he was not looking for a romantic relationship with a wife, he sure was touching her an awful lot. Maybe he was concerned with appearances. Didn’t want the town to know about the true nature of their relationship.
He followed her up the stairs and down the hallway to the door of the room she had been staying in. Millie had packed before the wedding and had already checked the room for stray belongings. That didn’t stop her from checking again, quickly this time since Adam was waiting. But, everything was inside her suitcase.
Including that ring.
Millie watched with almost disbelief as Adam came inside the room and picked up the suitcase. She was more than capable of carrying it herself—and had done so as needed during the trip from Saint Louis. But if he wanted to carry it, she wouldn’t complain. He gestured for her to walk ahead of him and then followed her as they retraced their prior steps and headed out the front door of the boardinghouse.
Her new husband was carrying the case that contained the ring given to her by her old husband. The naive girl who had become a bride who had become a widow had become a bride again. And would soon be a mother.
This was going to work out. Millie had a plan. She had a list of steps to accomplish that plan. She could do this. She would do this and it would all work out.
It just had to.
* * *
Adam hated this. It was a glorious day. The sky was blue and the grass was green and it should have filled his soul with peace and awe at what the Creator had made for them. Instead, he felt like a bug trapped in a canning jar.
Adam focused on the breeze on his face. The heat of sun coming through his clothes. The feel of the reins in his hand and the sound of Gray’s and Ellie’s hooves as they pulled the wagon toward home.
He reminded himself that he wasn’t a bug trapped in a glass. He was a man in control of his life. Adam had not come to the decision to seek a mail-order bride lightly. And, he’d made a good choice. This awkward phase would pass and things would settle just as he’d pictured. Eugene and Catherine would have a mother. A home full of the comforts that had been missing since Sarah had died two years ago.
And Adam would be helping Millie, too. That was what he had liked the most about her. When he had mentioned the idea of a mail-order bride, word had spread through town. He wasn’t the first man to find a wife that way, but people seemed to enjoy talking about it nonetheless.
Based on some of the other local men’s experiences, Adam had anticipated months of corresponding with different women, trying to decide from words on paper whether the woman would be the help his children needed or a mistake. Another mistake.
Then, Mr. Carter had come all the way out to the farm to talk to Adam. Mr. Carter’s sister was married to a pastor outside of Saint Louis. She had just written about a young woman who needed a husband. This woman—Millie—was recently widowed and pregnant. Her husband had been deep in debt at the time of his death, and Millie had found herself completely destitute. Alone. Homeless. Though she was staying with friends from church, Millie was looking for a husband. Somewhere to go.
And Adam had an empty room and the need for a wife.
Of course Adam’s heart had hurt for the woman who had been through so much already. His heart also hurt for his children who were similarly suffering through no fault of their own. They could help each other and maybe ease some of the pain all around.
Please, God, let that be true. I need my children to be happy. Well cared for. I want them to grow up in the kind of home I had.
“How far is it? To your home, I mean.”
Adam couldn’t tell from her tone of voice whether she was genuinely curious or just trying to fill the silence between him. Either one was fine. They needed to work from where they were and go up. Build something.
“It’s your home now, too, you know. And it’s not too far, about forty-five minutes from town.”
“Forty-five minutes is not too far?”
Adam turned to look at her. “I always thought forty-five minutes was close to town, at least for this part of the country. How close to Saint Louis was your farm?”
“My farm? The farm I was staying at after my husband died?”
Millie’s voice was slow and hesitant, and Adam felt his stomach harden with dread.
“I was asking about the farm you and your husband had before he died.”
Millie’s eyes widened in something that looked an awful lot like panic. She sat very still, her body not moving despite the jostling of the buggy. “I didn’t live on a farm before my husband died.”
Adam felt his own body freeze. “Where did you live?”
“In the city. In Saint Louis. My husband owned a store there, and I helped him.”
“How about before that? You were raised on a farm, right?” Yes. The answer had to be yes. One of the things that had made Sarah try to leave was the isolation of life on the farm. Adam had tried marrying a city woman unfamiliar with farm life, and it had been a disaster. Surely he hadn’t made the same mistake with his second marriage. But he hadn’t actually asked, had he? He’d just seen the ranch address of the home where she was staying and he’d assumed.
Millie’s eyes stayed wide this time, large and frightened in her pale face. “I was born in the city. In Saint Louis. I lived there every day of my life until the debt collectors took the house after my husband died. I only lived at the Keller ranch for the last month.”
Adam clenched his jaw and forced himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead. The path that they were going to have to go down. They were married. This was their road to travel together. And suddenly every bump in it felt more like hitting a boulder. His fingers were white and numb around the reins, and he forced himself to relax his grip. The last thing they needed was for the horses to react to his anger.
He went through the events that had led to his second marriage to a second city woman. He had been a fool yet again. And he was trapped, yet again. But, just because Millie was not familiar with farm life did not mean she would hate it like Sarah had. He just needed to show Millie all the farm had to offer. He could still have a full partner in the day-to-day activities of farm life.
“Did you like where you were staying at before you came here?”
Millie’s smile was small but it was there. “I did. I mean, I didn’t really get out much. I spent a lot of the time alone in my room, thinking. But I liked what I