“Before he started drinking.”
“She loved him, even then.”
Annie fell silent, and Judith watched Eli stack one block on top of another. Annie was right. Their parents had loved each other at one time. But was love enough to make a happy marriage?
“Still, I don’t want to end up poor and living on the edge of the family and community.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being thankful for what the Good Lord provides,” Annie said, her voice quiet.
“But don’t you think a marriage has a better chance of being happy if there’s enough money to live on?” Judith went back to the meat grinder. She had ground all the ham and she needed to wash the grinder before the gears became crusty and hard to clean. “The Kaufman family is well-to-do, from what you said.”
“But Judith, just because Luke’s family has a good farm doesn’t mean he would be a better husband than anyone else.”
“Don’t you think it’s worth getting to know him better?”
Annie shook her head. “He’s broken more than one heart already.”
Judith let Annie’s comment settle in her mind. She didn’t have enough experience to tell what kind of man was the right one to marry, but Annie and Matthew seemed happy together.
She sat down at the table again, next to her sister. “How did you know Matthew was the right man for you to marry?”
Annie smiled. “First of all, he made me laugh.”
Judith grinned, remembering nearly falling off her chair the evening before.
“But most important, he showed me how much he loved me.”
“You mean he whispered mushy poems in your ear?” Judith wrinkled her nose at the thought of some boy’s moist lips next to her ear, breathing words of love.
“Ne, nothing like that,” Annie said, laughing. She sat back in her chair and looked at the ceiling as she went back in her memories. “He remembered that I like the piece of cake from the very middle of the pan and always made sure I got that one. He let me win when we played games with his brothers and sisters. He always gave me his hand to help me in and out of the buggy.”
Annie leaned forward, cupping the top of Eli’s head in a loving caress. “Matthew has always put my needs and our family’s needs before his own comfort. He works hard to provide for us and never complains.”
They sat together for a few minutes while Judith thought about Annie’s description of her husband. A swelling rose in her throat...a longing for someone to cherish her in that same way.
A cry from one of the babies drifted from the bedroom. “I think someone is hungry again.” Annie started toward the kitchen door, then turned back to Judith. “Don’t go chasing Luke. He’s not the man I’d want my baby sister to marry.”
Judith smiled, hoping to reassure her sister. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”
She let the pieces of the grinder soak in warm, soapy water while she chopped onion, celery and pickles to mix into the ham spread.
“Me?” Eli said, tugging on her skirt.
“For sure.” Judith lifted him into his chair at the table and spread some of the ground ham on a bit of cracker. “What do you think?”
Eli opened his mouth and she popped the bite in, then he scrunched up his face into a smile. He nodded and patted his tummy as he swallowed. “More? Eli more?”
Judith prepared another cracker for him, grinning as he opened his mouth like a little bird.
“You love ham spread as much as your daed does, don’t you?”
“Da?” Eli held his hands up. “Da here?”
“He’s working now, but he’ll be in for dinner.”
Eli kicked his feet against the chair. “Go Da. Down. Go Da.”
Judith glanced out the window. The weather was cold and cloudy, but it hadn’t started snowing yet.
“After I finish my work, we’ll go out and see what Daed is doing.” She wiped off the little boy’s hands and put him back down with his blocks, then started washing the dishes.
As the suds swirled around the parts of the meat grinder, she considered Annie’s words. She thought Matthew was the perfect husband. Guy seemed to come close to that ideal, the way he made her laugh. But he was only a hired hand with no prospects, and she wasn’t about to live the rest of her life as the destitute wife of a man who wasn’t even Amish.
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