She grabbed her guidebook and flipped through the pages, determined to take every moment that she could to learn about where she was. Those golden flowers—bursting skywards like mini-sunflowers—what were they called? Beau flicked through to the flora and fauna section of her book and smiled.
Balsamroots. Perfect.
Her gaze fell to the text beneath the picture and her smile widened.
Native Americans would often use the sap of this plant as a topical antiseptic.
Now, wasn’t this what she was here for? To learn? And that plant was a perfect start to her new learning experience on the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course. She’d spent too long cooped up in hospitals, on wards, in Theatre. Standing for hours, operating in the depths of a patient’s brain, gazing for too long at X-rays or imaging scans, stuck in small rooms passing along bad news, living in a sterile environment, never seeing the sky or enjoying the fresh air.
Her life had become the hospital. She’d even begun to forget what her flat looked like. There’d been too many nights spent sleeping in the on-call room, too much time spent with patients and their families, so that she hardly saw her own. Hardly had any friends apart from her work colleagues. Hardly saw anyone she cared about at all.
This next week would all be about Beau reclaiming herself. Getting back to grassroots medicine. Getting back to hiking—which she’d used to love, but she hadn’t worn a set of boots for years. Not unless they had a heel anyway.
She was one of the top neurologists in England. Had spent years building up her reputation, skill set and repertoire.
Now was the time to take some time out. For herself. Regroup. Do what she loved. Learn and hike in some of the most beautiful country on the planet.
Beau got out of the car and sucked in a lungful of fresh mountain air. Then she popped the boot so she could get her backpack out. She’d bought all new kit—tent, clothes, equipment, walking poles. All colour-coordinated in a gorgeous shade of red. Matches the hair, she thought with a smile as she tied a bandana around her head to keep her long auburn hair off her face.
The first day’s hike started today. She wanted to be ready. She didn’t want anyone having to slow down because of her. Here she would make friends—hopefully for life—and with this experience under her belt perhaps she could start thinking about doing that season at Base Camp, Everest. Her ultimate goal.
She slung the backpack over her shoulders, adjusting the straps, then closed the boot, locked it. Lifting her sunglasses, she strode over to the ranger station, ready to check in and meet the other hikers. Hopefully she wasn’t the last to arrive. She’d left Bozeman a whole hour earlier than she’d needed to, but still... She’d find out when she got inside.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the interior of the log cabin, and then she noticed the receptionist standing behind the counter.
‘Hi, there! I’m Dr Judd. I’m here for the Extreme Wilderness Medical Survival Course.’
‘Welcome to Yellowstone! And welcome to Gallatin. Let me see here...’ She ran a finger down a checklist. ‘Sure. Here you are.’ She ticked Beau’s name with her pen. ‘The others are waiting in the back. Go on through and help yourself to refreshments. They’ll be the last you’ll see for a while!’
Beau smiled her thanks and headed over to the door, from where she could already hear a rumble of voices in the next room.
This was it. The moment everything about her life would change! She would enjoy great new experiences. Get back to the basics of medicine and enjoy some survival training.
Plastering a huge smile on her face, she opened the door and scanned the room of faces, ready to say hi.
The smile froze on her face as she realised who was in the room with her.
A man whom she’d hoped never to see again.
Gray McGregor.
How was he even here? In this small ranger station? In Yellowstone Park? In America? What the heck was he doing? Why wasn’t he back in Scotland? In Edinburgh, where he was meant to be?
This had to be some sort of double. A doppelgänger.
We all have one, right?
The smile left her face and unconsciously she let her hand grip the door frame to keep her balance, wrong-footed suddenly by the shock of seeing him. Her centre of gravity was distorted by the backpack, but also by this imposter—the image of the man who’d broken her heart—standing in front of her.
Of all the parks in all the world, he has to be in mine.
The real Gray she’d not seen for... She thought quickly, her mind stumbling as much as she was, over numbers and years that suddenly wouldn’t compute. Her brain had flipped in a short circuit. Frozen. The ability to add up basic numbers was beyond her at this terrible moment in time.
And the clone just stood there, the smile that had been on his face before he’d become aware of her presence disappearing in the same way that clouds covered the sun. His eyes widened at the sight of her, the muscle in his jaw clenching and unclenching.
It is you.
The noise in the room quietened as the other backpackers sensed a change in the atmosphere, but then rose again slightly as they all pretended not to see.
It was all flooding back! All of it. The day she’d dressed in white for him. The hours spent getting her hair done at home, giggling and laughing excitedly with her hairdresser. Then the hour spent with the beautician, getting her make-up looking perfect. Putting on that dress, attaching the veil, taking hold of her bouquet and glimpsing herself in the mirror before the photographer had been allowed in to take pictures.
The joy and excitement of the day had been thrumming through her veins as with every picture taken, every smile she gave, every pose she stood for, she had imagined walking down that aisle to be with him. Anticipating the look on his face, the way he would smile back at her, the way they would stand side by side in front of the vicar...
Only, you weren’t there, were you, Gray?
The heartache this man had caused...
He looked a little different from the way she was used to seeing him. Back then he’d been fresh-faced, his dark hair longer and more tousled. Today his hair was cut shorter than she remembered, more modern, and he had a trim beard that was as auburn in colour as her own hair. And he was staring at her with as much shock in his own eyes as she was feeling.
But I’m not going to let you see how much you hurt me!
Deliberately she tore her gaze from him, tried to ignore her need to hurry to the bathroom and slick on a few more layers of antiperspirant, and walked over to one of the other hikers—a woman in a dark green polo shirt.
‘Hi, I’m Beau. Pleased to meet you.’
She turned her back on him, sure that she could feel his gaze upon her. Her body tensed, each muscle flooded with more adrenaline than it needed as she imagined his gaze trailing up and down her body.
Resisting the urge to turn around and start yelling at him, she instead tried to focus on what the other hiker was saying.
‘...it’s so good to meet you! I’m glad there’s another woman in the group. There’s three of us now.’
Beau smiled pleasantly. She hadn’t caught the woman’s name. She’d been too busy trying not to grind her teeth, or clench her fists, whilst her brain had screamed at her all the horrible things she could say to Gray. All the insults, all the toxic bile she had once dreamed of throwing at him...
All the pain and heartache he’d caused...she’d neatly packaged it away. Determined to get on with her life, to forget he’d ever existed.
What