“Ja, Rebekah. With a young son and a boppli coming soon, she can’t handle Lloyd’s farm on her own. She needs to marry before she has to sell out and has no place to go.” Mamm shifted, then winced as she readjusted her broken arm. “You know her well, Joshua. She is the widow of your best friend.”
That was true. Lloyd Burkholder had been his best friend. When Joshua had married Matilda, Lloyd had served as one of his Newehockers, the two male and two female attendants who sat beside the bride and groom throughout their wedding day. It was an honor to be asked, and Lloyd had been thrilled to accept.
“Rebekah is almost ten years younger than I am, Mamm.”
“Lloyd was your age.”
“And she is barely ten years older than Timothy.”
“True. That might have made a difference years ago, but now you are adults with kinder. And you need a wife.”
“I don’t need a wife right now. I need someone to watch the kinder.” He held up his hand. “And Rebekah lives too far away for me to ask her to do that.”
“What about the housework? The laundry? The cooking? Rose did much of those chores for you, and you eat your other meals here. Deborah can do some of the work, but not all of it. With Esther having to do my chores as well as her own around the house and preparations for the end of the school year, she would appreciate having fewer people at the table each night.”
“Mamm, I doubt that,” he replied with a laugh, though he knew his sister worked hard at their local school.
His mamm wagged a finger at him. “True, true. Esther would gladly feed anyone who showed up every night.” As quickly as she’d smiled, she became serious again. “But it’s also true Rebekah Burkholder needs a husband. That poor woman can’t manage on her own.”
He didn’t want to admit his own thoughts had gone in that direction, too, and how guilty he felt that he’d turned his back on her.
His face must have betrayed his thoughts because Mamm asked, “Will you at least think of it?”
“Ja.”
What else could he say? Rebekah likely had no interest in remarrying so quickly after Lloyd’s death, but if she didn’t take another husband, she could lose Lloyd’s legacy to her and his kinder. The idea twisted in Joshua’s gut.
It was time for him to decide exactly what he was willing to do to help his best friend’s widow.
Even as Joshua was turning his buggy onto the lane leading to the Burkholders’ farm the next morning, he fought his own yearning to turn around and leave at the buggy’s top speed. He hadn’t slept last night, tossing and turning and seeking God’s guidance while the loud thunderstorm had banished the humidity. A cool breeze had rushed into the rooms where his three kinder had been lost in their dreams, but he had been awake until dawn trying to decide what he should do.
Or, to be more accurate, to accept what he should do. God never promised life would be simple. That thought echoed through his head during breakfast and as he prepared for the day.
Into his mind came the verse from Psalm 118 that he had prayed so many times since his wife died. This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
At sunrise on this crisp morning, he’d arranged for the younger two kinder to go to the Beilers’ house, but he couldn’t take advantage of their generosity often. Abram Beiler suffered from Parkinson’s disease, and Leah and her mamm had to keep an eye on him as he went about his chores. Even though Leah had told Joshua to depend on her help for as long as he needed because Leah’s niece Mandy and Deborah were close in age and enjoyed playing together, he must find a more permanent solution.
His next stop had been to drop off Timothy at his buggy shop at the Stoltzfus Family Shops in the village. The other shops as well as the smithy behind the long building were run by his brothers. He asked the sixteen-year-old to wait on any customers who came in and to let them know Joshua would be there by midday. Even a year ago, he could have trusted Timothy to sort out parts or paint sections of wood that were ready to be assembled, but his older son had grown less reliable in recent months. Joshua tried to give him space and privacy to sort out the answers every teenager wrestled with, which was why he hadn’t said anything when he’d noticed Timothy had a portable music device and earphones hidden beneath his shirt.
Until he decided to be baptized and join the church, Timothy could have such items, though many members of the Leit frowned on their use at any age. Most kinder chose to be baptized, though a few like Leah’s twin brother turned their backs on the community and left to seek a different life among the Englischers.
He stopped the family buggy, which was almost twice the size of the one Rebekah had driven away from the cemetery yesterday. Looking out the front, he appraised the small white house. He hadn’t been here since at least three years before Matilda died. Only now did he realize how odd it was that they had seldom visited the Burkholders’ house.
The house was in poor shape. Though the yard was neat and flowers had been planted by the front door, paint was chipped on the clapboards and the roof resembled a swaybacked horse. He frowned when he noticed several bricks had fallen off the chimney and tumbled partway down the shingles. Even from where he sat, he could see broken and missing shingles.
What had happened? This damage couldn’t have happened in the five months since Lloyd’s death. It must have taken years of neglect to bring the house to such a miserable state.
He stroked his beard thoughtfully as he looked at the barn and the outbuildings. They were in a little bit better shape, but not much. One silo was leaning at a precarious angle away from the barn, and a strong wind could topple it. A tree had fallen on a section of the fence. Its branches were bare and the trunk was silvery-gray, which told him it had been lying in the sunshine for several seasons.
Why had Lloyd let his house and buildings deteriorate like this?
Joshua reminded himself he wasn’t going to learn any answers sitting in his buggy. After getting out, he lashed the reins around a nearby tree and left his buggy horse Benny to graze on the longer grass at the edge of the driveway. He walked up the sloping yard to the back door. As he looked beyond the barn, he saw two cows in the pasture. Not enough to keep the farm going unless Rebekah was making money in other ways, like selling eggs or vegetables at one of the farmers’ markets near the tourist areas.
He knocked on the back door and waited for an answer. The door didn’t have a window like his kitchen door, but he could hear soft footsteps coming toward him.
Rebekah opened the door and stared at him, clearly astonished at his unannounced visit in the middle of a workday morning.
He couldn’t help staring back. Yesterday her face had been half hidden beneath her bonnet, and he’d somehow pushed out of his mind how beautiful she was. Her deep auburn hair was hidden beneath a scarf she’d tied at her nape. A splotch of soap suds clung to her right cheek and sparkled as brightly as her blue eyes. Her freckles looked as if someone had blown cinnamon across her nose and high cheekbones. There was something ethereal about her when she looked up at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted in surprise. Her hand was protectively on her belly. Damp spots littered the apron she wore over her black dress. He wasn’t surprised her feet were bare. Mamm and his sisters preferred to go without shoes when cleaning floors.
Then he noticed the gray arcs beneath her eyes and how drawn her face was. Exhaustion. It was the first description that came to mind.
She put her hand to the scarf. “I didn’t expect company.”
“I know, but it’s long past time I paid you and the boy a visit.”
For