* * *
Joshua walked into the farmhouse’s large but cozy kitchen and closed the back door behind him, glad to be inside where the unseasonable humidity didn’t make everything stick to him. He’d waved goodbye to the last of the mourners who’d came to the house for a meal after the funeral. Their buggy was already vanishing into the night by the time he reached the house.
He was surprised to see only his younger sister Esther and Mamm there. Earlier, their neighbors, Leah Beiler and her mamm, had helped serve food and collected dishes, which they’d piled on the long table in the middle of the simple kitchen. They had insisted on helping because his older sister Ruth was having a difficult pregnancy, and her family had gone home hours ago.
The thought of his pregnant sister brought Rebekah to mind. Even though she was going to have a boppli, too, she had no one to help her on the farm Lloyd had left her. He wondered again why she hadn’t joined the mourners at his mamm’s house. Being alone in the aftermath of a funeral was wrong, especially when she’d suffered such a loss herself.
Take care of her, Lord, he prayed silently. Her need is great at this time.
A pulse of guilt rushed through him. Why hadn’t he considered that before? Though it was difficult to see her because she brought forth memories of her late husband and Matilda, that was no excuse to turn his back on her.
Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow he would go to her farm and see exactly what help she needed. The trip would take him a long way from his buggy shop in Paradise Springs, but he’d neglected his obligations to Lloyd’s wife too long. Maybe she would explain why she’d pulled away, her face growing pale each time he came near. He couldn’t remember her acting like that before Lloyd died.
“Everyone’s gone.” Joshua hung his black hat on the peg by the door and went to the refrigerator. He poured himself a glass of lemonade. He’d forgotten what dusty work feeding, milking and cleaning up after cows could be.
And hungry work. He picked up a piece of ham from the plate on the counter. It was the first thing he’d eaten all day, in spite of half the women in the Leit insisting he take a bite of this casserole or that cake. They didn’t hide the fact they believed a widower with three kinder must never eat a gut meal.
“Mamm, will you please sit and let me clear the table?” Esther frowned and put her hands on the waist of her black dress.
“I want to help.” Their mamm’s voice was raspy because she’d talked so much in the past few days greeting mourners, consoling her family and Rose’s, and talking with friends. She glowered at the cast on her left arm.
The day before Rose died, Mamm had slipped on her freshly mopped floor and stumbled against the table. Hard. Both bones in her lower left arm had broken, requiring a trip to the medical clinic in Paradise Springs. She’d come home with a heavy cast from the base of her fingers to above her elbow, as well as a jar of calcium tablets to strengthen her bones.
“I know, but...” Esther squared her shoulders. “Mamm, it’s taking me exactly twice as long to do a task because I have to keep my eye on you to make sure you don’t do it.”
“There must be something I can do.”
Joshua gave his younger sister a sympathetic smile as he poured a second glass of lemonade. Mamm wasn’t accustomed to sitting, but she needed to rest her broken arm. Balancing the second glass in the crook of one arm, he gently put his hand on Mamm’s right shoulder and guided her to the front room that some of the mourners had put back in order before they’d left. The biggest space in the house, it was where church Sunday services were held once a year when it was Mamm’s turn to host them. Fortunately that had happened in the spring, because she was in no state now to invite in the whole congregation.
He felt his mamm tremble beneath his fingers, so he reached to open the front door. He didn’t want to pause in this big room. It held too many sad memories because it was where his daed had been waked years ago.
Not wanting to linger, he steered his mamm out on the porch. He assisted her to one of the rocking chairs before he sat on the porch swing. It squeaked as it moved beneath him. He’d try to remember to oil it before he headed home in the morning to his place about a mile down the road.
“Is Isaiah asleep already?” he asked. “When I was coming in, I saw the light go out in the room where he used to sleep upstairs.”
“I doubt he’s asleep, though it would be the best thing for him. You remember how difficult it is to sleep after...” She glanced toward the barn.
His other brothers should be returning to the house soon, but he guessed Mamm was thinking of the many times she’d watched Daed cross the grass between the barn and the house. Exactly as he’d looked out the window as if Matilda would come in with a basket of laundry or fresh carrots and peas from her garden. Now he struggled to keep up with the wash and the garden had more weeds than vegetables.
Mamm sighed. “What are you going to do, Joshua?”
“Do?”
“You need to find someone to watch Levi and Deborah during the day while you’re at the shop.”
It was his turn to sigh into his sweaty glass. “I’m not sure. The kinder loved spending time with Rose, and it’s going to be hard for them to realize she won’t be watching them again.”
“Those who have gone before us keep an eye on us always.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “But as far as the kinder, I can—”
He shook his head. “No, you can’t have them come here. Not while you’ve got a broken arm. And don’t suggest Esther. She’ll be doubly busy taking care of the house while you’re healing. The doctor said it would take at least six weeks for your bones to knit, and I can’t have the kinder at the shop for that long.”
Levi and Deborah would want to help. As Esther had said to Mamm, such assistance made every job take twice as long as necessary. In addition, he couldn’t work beneath a buggy, making a repair or putting it together, and keep an eye on them. Many of the tools at the buggy shop were dangerous if mishandled.
“There is an easy solution, Joshua.”
“What?”
“Get yourself a wife.”
His eyes were caught by the flash of lightning from beyond the tree line along the creek. The stars were vanishing, one after another, as clouds rose high in the night sky. Thunder was muted by the distance, but it rolled across the hills like buggy wheels on a rough road. A stronger storm than the one that morning would break the humidity and bring in fresher air.
Looking back at his mamm, he forced a smile. “Get a wife like that?” He snapped his fingers. “And my problems are solved?”
“Matilda died four years ago.” Her voice was gentle, and he guessed the subject was as hard for her to speak about as it was for him to listen to. “Your kinder have been without a mamm, and you’ve been without a wife. Don’t you want more kinder and the company of a woman in your home?”
Again he was saved from having to answer right away by another bolt of lightning cutting through the sky. “Looks like the storm is coming fast.”
“Not as fast as you’re changing the subject to avoid answering me.”
He never could fool Mamm, and he usually didn’t try. On the other hand, she hadn’t been trying to match him with some woman before now.
“All right, Mamm. I’ll answer your question. When the time is right, I may remarry again. The time hasn’t been right, because I haven’t found the right woman.” He drained his lemonade and set the glass beside him. “From your expression, however, I assume you have someone specific in mind.”
“Ja. I have been thinking