“Grandpa is the only person close to me who ever died, and his passing still hurts.”
“Losing someone you love is painful.” He still mourned his mom. He still said prayers for his infant sister, too. “You never really get over it.”
“You’re right,” she said somberly, and they finished eating. When they were done, he helped her clear the table. While she was rinsing the dishes, he stood off to the side, wishing their conversation hadn’t been so serious.
Finally she cut into the quiet and said, “I’d show you Cody’s room, but he wants to bring you in there himself. He worked really hard to clean it up. Normally it’s a mess.”
“Then, I certainly won’t sneak a peek.” He wouldn’t spoil it for the boy.
“I can take you outside if you’d like.” She dried her hands on a plain white towel. “Cody won’t mind if I give you a tour of the barn and the yard.”
“Are you sure?”
“I already checked with him.” She laughed a little. “We had a big discussion about what I was permitted to do.”
Kade laughed, too, amused by their son’s rules. “That’s quite a bossy kid we’ve got.”
“That’s for sure.” She turned to look at him and suddenly their gazes locked, their humor quickly fading.
He held his breath, feeling as if he was getting sucked into a vacuum. He wasn’t sure how he was going to sleep at the motel tonight and not think about her. If he could kiss her, he would, just for the much-needed pleasure it would provide. But he couldn’t let something like that happen, so he followed her outside, fighting the feeling.
* * *
Bridget led Kade through the back door, wondering how they could talk and laugh one minute, then stare longingly at each other the next. It was like being in one of those carnival fun houses, where you couldn’t find your way out of the mazes and mirrors. Between his penchant for speaking his mind and her desperate admission that she might’ve actually agreed to marry him, the past was coming back to haunt her in ways she’d never imagined.
But she didn’t want to think about that, not while they were standing in her yard, surrounded by her favorite wildflowers.
Determined to stay centered, to draw strength from the environment, she said, “When I was a kid, this neighborhood was part of a planned community, so most of the houses were built on one-and two-acre lots, rather than being too spread out. They never did get around to paving all the roads, though. Or maybe they never really meant to.” She pointed to the side of her property. “That road leads to where my mom and grandma live. They’re on the same street, just a few houses apart.”
“It’s convenient that you live so close to them.”
“When Mom and I are at work, Grandma keeps an eye on Cody. But it’s different now that Grandpa is gone. He and Cody spent a lot of time at the river. I love it there, too. It’s the area this town is known for, where the farms and ranches and recreational spots are.”
Kade shifted his stance. Behind him, the sky stretched like a big blue canvas. “That’s why I came here all those years ago and gave that clinic. I wanted to establish a presence with the horse breeders out that way. I never really did, though.”
“I’ll bet you’d impress the heck out of them now.”
“Yeah, I probably would. I might’ve back then, too, if I’d returned to do more clinics, letting them get to know me a little better.”
She searched his gaze. “Then, why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was because you were here and it might’ve started something that I wouldn’t have known how to finish. Maybe in some unconscious way, avoiding you was deliberate on my part.”
“And now you’re back with the prospect of being a father to the son I deliberately didn’t tell you about.”
He reached out as if he meant to tame a strand of her hair that was blowing across her face, but he lowered his hand without making the connection. “We’re quite a pair, you and me.”
A mixed-up pair, she thought, wishing he would have touched her yet glad that he hadn’t. She batted the errant hair away herself. Before things got too awkward, she asked, “Does your family know about Cody?”
“Yes, and my brother is excited that he has a ten-year-old nephew. Shocked, but excited. I think you’d like Tanner. Cody probably would, too. Tanner just settled down with his fiancée and a baby girl he’s helping raise.”
“Whose baby? His fiancée’s?”
“No. It’s Meagan’s kid.”
She started. “Your sister has a baby?”
He nodded. “Meagan discovered that she was pregnant soon after she was incarcerated. Her old boyfriend, the baby’s father, is part of the reason she stole the money to begin with, and now he wants nothing to do with her or their child. So she asked Tanner to be her daughter’s legal guardian.”
“It’s admirable that your brother took responsibility. But it’s sad that your sister is locked up like that.” And the fact that her boyfriend abandoned her and the baby was equally disturbing. “When will she be released?”
“In about two years. I haven’t seen her since she’s been in prison. I haven’t met my niece yet, either. But I plan to. The baby is about five months old now. Tanner sends me pictures to keep me up to date, and he says she’s growing like a weed. Her name is Ivy, so it seems fitting.”
“That’s cute.” Bridget thought about how quickly Cody had grown. “Are you angry at Meagan? Is that why you haven’t visited her?”
“I’m not angry, just disappointed. Meagan and I were close when she was little, but as time went on, we drifted apart. I think it’s because I’ve been gone for so much of her life. With the age difference between us, she was just a kid when I went off to college. And after that, I started traveling the way I do.”
To Bridget, that was just more proof of how his lifestyle might affect Cody in the same way. But she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she questioned him about his sister. “Are you ever going to try to get close to Meagan again?”
“I don’t know. Now that she’s in prison, I’m not sure how to do that. It’s weird how both of us are on the fringes of our children’s lives. I never thought I’d have that in common with her.”
As they passed the arena and headed to the barn, she thought about her own family ties. “My grandmother thinks I should have told you about Cody from the beginning.”
“Really?” Kade reacted with immediate interest. “And what about your mom? How does she feel about all of this?”
“She’s concerned about your character and whether you’ll be worthy of Cody. But after what she went through with my dad, she’s bound to be cautious.”
Kade turned pensive, stopping just short of the barn. “During the years he was around, did he provide any kind of support?”
“You mean financially? No. Mom never asked for anything from him. She just clung to the quiet dream of marrying him someday.”
“I want to help with Cody. I want to arrange for child support.”
“That isn’t necessary.” She didn’t want this to be about money. “I can give my son what he needs. I’ve been taking care of him since he was born.” And she wasn’t keen on changing the rules.
“If you won’t accept support from me, then I’ll set up a trust for him. At least that way, I can put something aside for his future.”