“What can I say? It’s all a part of the Carter Shaw package.” He bent to tie his boots, and then straightened to face her.
“Don’t do that,” she said.
“Do what?”
“Make it sound like you don’t feel things like I do.” Their gazes met and held, and he could see a depth of emotion glimmering in her beautiful brown eyes.
“What makes you believe that I could?”
“I spent the day with you, Carter. I saw a side of you that few people ever do, and I’m so glad I did.” She reached up and gently squeezed his biceps. “I like you.”
But she was still kicking him out. “Gosh, thanks.”
“Stop it. You know what I mean. I had no idea that behind that big braggart and awesome talent was a man who could see past his own ego and help me try to conquer my fears. I really can’t thank you enough.”
His jaw flexed and he swallowed hard. That was nothing. He hated that he might be even the tiniest bit responsible for her not skiing anymore, and he didn’t want to think of the winter sports without her. For him the two things were inexorably tied together. So even his unselfish move of trying to get her back on skis had turned out to be for him.
“You’re welcome,” he said at last, because he really didn’t know what else to say. There was a part of him that knew if he was an eloquent man, maybe more like his old man, he’d come up with just the right sentiment to express.
But he wasn’t that guy.
He was a tattooed snowboarder who’d been searching all his life for the next big thrill. The next adrenaline-fueled high he could find. He’d never have guessed that he’d find it in this cool Nordic blond, Alpine Super G skier who always seemed to look right through him.
“Goodbye,” he said.
He turned, opened the door and forced himself to walk away without looking back. But he wanted to see if she watched him as he left. Wanted to know if he’d had an impact on her the way she had him. But was afraid to see the truth: that he might need her more than she wanted him.
* * *
LINDSEY STEPPED INTO the boardroom at the Lars Usten lodge with more than a little trepidation. It had been two weeks since she’d sent Carter away, and she wasn’t sure if he’d be at this meeting or not. She’d been back to that little snow mound three more times.
The first time she hadn’t been able to go down the hill on her sled. The second time she’d gotten mad, climbed to the top and stood there shaking until she’d forced herself to slide down. It had been hard, but she’d forced herself to do it three more times before going home, and then yesterday she’d gone and just did it. The fear was still there, but she was finding her strength again.
This weekend she hoped to get back on her skis and actually go down one of the easier runs in the Wasatch Range. But today she had to get through a corporate meeting.
She just didn’t like having to dress up and sit in a stuffy boardroom. The lodge itself was rustic and homey. First-class luxury. She loved the large patios that overlooked the picturesque mountain vistas and the pristine ski trails.
“You’re one of the first to arrive,” Elizabeth Anders said, coming over to give her a hug. “I’m glad. I have missed our breakfasts and was hoping you’d have time for a coffee before we get started.”
Her friend was the general manager of the lodge and had recently—as in on New Year’s Eve—married her best friend, Bradley. Lindsey had been one of the bridesmaids at the ceremony.
“I didn’t know exactly when you were getting back from your honeymoon today,” Lindsey said. “I’ve missed our breakfasts, too. Too much time alone with myself and my thoughts.”
“Like what?” Elizabeth asked as she led the way down the hall to where a coffee service was set up.
“Nothing. Just some crazy decisions I made on New Year’s Eve,” she said as she made herself a cup of coffee. No way was she going to elaborate on what had gone down with Carter. But it was nice to have her friend back, so maybe for a little while she didn’t have to keep thinking about it.
“How was your honeymoon?”
“Fab. The Lars Usten Resort in the Caribbean was really nice. And it was a change of pace to be a guest and not have to always be watching for things that might go wrong.”
Lindsey laughed. Elizabeth looked polished from head to toe, like someone who had everything all together. Even when she was going through the ups and downs of falling in love with Bradley she’d still done it with panache.
Something that Lindsey never felt she had.
“That’s great.”
“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked, her brow in concern. “You don’t seem yourself today.”
Lindsey nodded. “Just nervous about this meeting. I know what the event is supposed to be but I’ve never been on a committee before.”
“You’ll do fine. It’s nothing like skiing sixty miles per hour.”
Lindsey gave Elizabeth the smile she was sure her friend was looking for. But she knew that skiing wasn’t easy, and this meeting wouldn’t be, either. Of course, she could contribute and she’d do whatever she had to to make the charity ski event a success.
The event had been proposed by Carter and had taken a lot of the resort owners in the area by surprise. The last time he had proposed something it had been to allow snowboarders on the runs in the valley; something that had gone against the resort owners’ policies. He’d won them over, and now skiers and snowboarders were welcome on the mountain, but he hadn’t exactly endeared himself to the owners with that move.
So the charity event, which would bring world-class athletes and young kids interested in winter sports together, had initially caught the higher-ups off guard. Lindsey smiled to herself at the thought of how shocked the owners had been to see their old nemesis in a different light.
Not unlike the way she was. Carter had changed, and he’d sort of changed her. She missed having him around, but wouldn’t admit it to herself or to anyone else. She figured if she had a few restless nights plagued with dreams of making love on her kitchen table with Carter, that was the price she had to pay for peace of mind.
“Hello, ladies,” he said, walking up to her and Elizabeth. Seeming to appear from out of nowhere.
She took a sip of her coffee and burned her tongue. He looked good. Polished in that roguish way of his. Elizabeth and he were chatting, but all she could do was watch him and acknowledge to herself that her dream-induced fantasies fell far short of the real man. She missed him.
No denying that.
“Well, Linds, how’s the skiing going?” he asked after Elizabeth excused herself to greet some of the other committee members.
“Great,” she said. No use telling him she still hadn’t made it up the mountain. That was her personal struggle. “How long are you here for?”
“For the next six months.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Why that long?”
“This charity event is my number one priority right now,” he said. “And I told you I was going to get you back on skis. I can’t do that from California, now, can I?”
“I think you’ve done enough. Feel free to go back to Cali.”
He leaned in close to her and the spicy scent of his aftershave wrapped around her, reminding her of how strong the scent had been when she’d rested her head on his shoulder after making love.
“I