Joni said, “Okay. Good.”
“I mean, it’s not like the guy doesn’t have potential. If I’m reading the situation right, I think he had a very soft heart at one time and something happened in his family that broke it. I’m guessing his Iceman image is a defensive wall to keep him from getting hurt again. Which is why I think there’s lots of hope for him with Bella.”
Joni inclined her head. “That makes sense.” She caught Claire’s gaze. “As long as you’re only working to repair his heart enough to raise a baby, not because you want something to happen between you two.”
“I already said I don’t want anything to happen between us.”
“Because bringing him far enough along that he’d be able to love you—as well as a baby—would be a big job.”
“I know.”
“And it would probably end up with you getting hurt.”
“I know that, too.”
“Just checking.”
Joni dropped the subject after that and they went to work on quickly reviewing the few cases Claire had on her desk. But when she left Dysart Adoptions, Joni’s words rolled around in her head.
She could probably teach Matt enough to care for Bella in a day or two. She hadn’t needed to take the whole week off.
Was she subconsciously trying to heal him for herself?
Did she think she could be the woman of his dreams?
WHEN Claire returned, she found Matt in the kitchen, making lunch. Bella sat in the high chair, banging a rattle on the tray. Matt stood at the grill beside the stainless-steel stove.
“Are those grilled cheese sandwiches I smell?”
“Yes.”
She shrugged out of her coat. “Really?”
He glanced over, then turned his attention back to his sandwiches. His voice was chilly as the ocean in January when he said, “I can cook. I wasn’t always rich.”
“Ah.”
“My stepfather was rich. And yes, I grew up in the lap of luxury, but I had to put myself through school. I got a job, lived in a rat hole of an apartment and paid enough tuition to put a new wing on the library just to get a basic bachelor’s degree.”
Unable to stop herself, she laughed. “Why would you want to live in a rat hole of an apartment if your family was rich?”
“I had a falling-out with my stepfather.” His voice wavered a bit, as if he didn’t want to answer, but he had.
She hung her coat across the back of a chair. Combining the conversation she’d had with Joni to this revelation, she knew it was time to tread lightly. She’d been pushing him to be sweet, to be nice, to be honest, for Bella’s sake, and it finally dawned on her how hard that might be for him. He was a guy so accustomed to getting his own way that he’d rather pay his tuition himself and live in a rat hole than make up with his stepfather. And here she was forcing him to buckle under for everything she wanted.
Of course, she was doing it for Bella.
She ambled toward the grill. She continually pushed him because Bella needed good care, but she didn’t have to be a shrew. She pointed at the sandwiches. “You wouldn’t want to share those, would you?”
“If my mother taught me anything, it was to share. I’m a great host.”
“I’d set the table as repayment.”
“I suppose that could be a deal.”
“Great.”
She rummaged until she found plates and cups, set the table and made a pot of coffee. He heated soup to go with the sandwiches and they sat at the table to eat, with Bella happily chattering in the high chair beside them.
“So how does a preppy boy survive living in a rat hole?”
He stopped his spoon halfway to his mouth. His lips quirked a bit. “Not easily.”
“I can imagine.”
“I don’t think you can. I’d never actually seen a bug indoors before, so cockroaches scared the hell out of me.”
She burst out laughing. “Good grief!”
“The walls of my apartment were paper thin. I froze in the winter and sweltered in the summer.” He smiled, almost wistfully. “It certainly taught me a lot about life.” He caught her gaze. “Real life. Not the sheltered existence I had as Cedric Patterson’s son.”
“I’ll bet.” She cocked her head. If he’d survived that, learning to care for Bella should be a piece of cake. But now wasn’t the time to remind him of that. They were making up after their argument and she would do her part. She would share a little about herself, too, so he wouldn’t feel he was always the one giving. “I actually did about the same thing.”
He frowned. “Really? You left the lap of luxury for a rat hole?”
“Maybe not the lap of luxury, but a very comfortable home. I was angry with my dad because he just never seemed to want me around, so I refused to take his money for tuition.” She shook her head. “Actually, that’s not totally true. I never asked him for money for tuition to see if he’d remember that I needed it. He didn’t. All the deadlines passed and suddenly I had a twenty-thousand-dollar tuition bill that needed to be paid immediately and no money. And I was too angry to ask my dad to please remember he had a daughter.”
Matt’s face softened as he said, “What did you do?”
“I went to the bank and withdrew my savings and paid it.”
“Ouch.”
“At least I had savings. I had the first semester’s tuition and enough for a good bit of the second semester, but I was furious. He never even considered that I’d need money. I was getting an allowance, but it wasn’t enough for tuition and books and the dorm. Just basics like one meal a day and shampoo. And I realized he didn’t even care enough about me to ask.” She swallowed back the wave of emotion that clogged her throat. “So I decided the hell with him and I went job hunting.”
“That’s when you became a nanny.”
“Yep. Changed my classes to night classes and lived in with the families I worked for so I didn’t have to worry about the dorm. And became my own woman.”
His brow furrowed. “So, we’re sort of alike.”
“A little, but my story doesn’t end as happily as yours.”
He sent her a look, encouraging her to explain. Unsure if she should, she sucked in a breath. But in the end, she decided that if she intended to push him past his boundaries, the least she could do was be honest with him.
“My dad died my third year at university. All the money he made, all the money that kept him from me, meant nothing. He had a heart attack when he was alone and, with no one to help him or even call an ambulance, he died.”
Matt reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I’m so sorry.”
“If he’d paid one whit of attention to me, I would have been there. He wouldn’t have died. But he’d treated me like an afterthought and I genuinely believed he didn’t want me around.” Bottled up feelings began to pop free, making