“I told her to lie down before we went to the airport,” she continued. “El, watching my best friend collapse into a seizure was the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
He was at a loss for words. El knew that was saying a lot for Jess, considering her husband had died a few years earlier.
Shaking her head, Jess finished her bottled water. “It was awful. And I feel so bad that I didn’t believe her at first. I thought she was joking.”
“Don’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t have known.”
The doctors had told him and Jess that Avery had a stroke that affected her vision and caused her to lose her sight earlier when she was with Jess. According to the attending physician, surgery wasn’t needed, which was a relief to El. Yet there was no way to tell if the damage was permanent at that point, since Avery was still unconscious. El could only pray that it wasn’t, because if Avery lost her sight forever, it would destroy her.
Where am I? Avery heard voices, but they weren’t familiar. They were detached, stiff. Doctors? She tried to open her eyes, tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. She tried to open her eyes, but darkness surrounded her.
“Avery?” Jess’s voice in her ear immediately calmed her.
“Jess,” Avery muttered with a cough.
“I’m here,” her friend said. “You’re at the University hospital. You had us worried sick.”
Why?
Avery remembered the graduation, being face-to-face with El and the hotel room. When she felt the flutter of her lashes on her cheeks as she blinked, she realized that her eyes had been open, but she couldn’t see.
Fear welled up inside her as she tried to hone in on the sounds and sensations around her—the shrill beeping of machines, the suction of the blood pressure cuff on her arm, the foul, dry taste in her mouth, the medicinal hospital smell. Four of her senses were working, but the one she relied on the most, the one she needed to earn her bread and butter, had failed her.
Closing her eyes, she let a whimper escape and the tears followed shortly after. The muscles in her legs tightened, and the urge to flee took over. But she couldn’t move.
Avery felt Jess’s hand rubbing her arm, and she reached out to hold on to it with her other hand. Squeezing tightly, she said, “Please tell me this isn’t permanent. What’s wrong with me?”
Her voice sounded desperate to her own ears and she wondered who was in the room with her. She had to assume there were people she knew in the room with her, people with whom she’d attended medical school, but she still hadn’t recognized any of the voices.
“Calm down, hun,” Jess whispered. “Your blood pressure is spiking again.”
Avery gasped, expelling a ragged breath. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. “Blood pressure. Why?”
“You had a stroke. The doctors think it was caused by high blood pressure brought on by continued stress. The scans indicate you have blood on the brain.”
Avery knew what that meant. Years of studying to become a doctor hadn’t left her. Vision changes brought on by a stroke were hard to overcome. The likelihood of regaining her sight was low, rare. Squeezing her eyes closed, she couldn’t hold it back any longer. She sobbed openly, screamed loudly, drowning out everything around her. It was an uncontrollable, ugly cry. In that moment, she didn’t care who heard her. Nothing mattered, not appearances, not her pride.
Jess held her, rubbed her back and murmured words of encouragement in her ear. “Oh, hun, I’m here. I won’t leave. You can depend on me.”
“What am I going to do?” Avery cried. “How am I—?” She choked as the tears continued to flow.
“Avery?”
Avery froze. Turning her head to his voice, she called his name. “El?”
“Yes,” he said. His calm voice soothed like balm to an open wound.
“You’re here?” It wasn’t a question. Well, at least, she hadn’t intended it to be.
She reached out and within a few seconds she felt the stubble on his chin. She inhaled the lingering scent of his cologne, let the notes of sage, lavender and mandarin ease her mind. Her fingers traced the outline of his forehead, felt the frown lines on his forehead. She brushed the line of his nose and ran her thumb over his full lips.
She smelled the hazelnut on his breath, felt it against her cheek as he leaned in.
“You’re okay,” he told her. “You’re going to be just fine.”
Her first response to his words was to nod in agreement. Because, for some reason, she believed him. Logically, she knew the odds, but El had a way of making her believe almost anything.
The press of his forehead against her temple made her turn her head toward him. She needed a deeper connection to him in that moment. The tips of his fingers brushed the outline of her ear and she savored the touch.
The tenderness he showed her, despite everything she’d put him through, was enough to make her belly ache with yearning. He’d known what she needed right then. He always knew how to take the pain away, if only for a brief moment. When the warmth of his mouth pressed against her forehead, she held her breath and let the flutter in her stomach take over.
His proximity, his presence, was what she needed to handle the shock of her trauma. Vaguely she felt moisture drizzle down the arm Jess was holding. Her poor friend was probably a nervous wreck. Avery had to be strong. She had to figure out her next steps.
“I need answers,” Avery said, sucking in all of her emotions. Her question wasn’t directed to anyone specific, though. She sensed the quiet presence of many people in the room and she wanted to know the extent of the damage.
“It was a hemorrhagic stroke that accompanied the onset of hypertensive encephalopathy. Your body couldn’t take the sudden increase in your blood pressure,” a strange voice explained. She assumed it was a doctor. “Ms. Montgomery, my name is Dr. Thorne. I’m the neuro-ophthalmologist assigned to your case. I’ve been briefed on your history and your knowledge of medicine, so I’ll be candid. As you know, it’s too soon to ascertain if your sight will return. But based on the latest scans, there is a good chance it will.”
Avery closed her eyes and said a silent prayer to God for healing.
“Avery?” El called. “We’re all here to help. There is more testing to be done, but I’m going to need you to hold it together. We can’t afford another spike in your blood pressure right now. I know you’re scared, but try to relax and let them do their work.”
El then introduced her to every other physician in the room. Some she knew and some she didn’t. He must’ve informed them all of her background, because they spoke to her in a language only used among one of their own. Once she’d received the updates, she opened her eyes.
It wasn’t a dream. She still couldn’t see a damn thing. She darted her eyes back and forth, hoping something would give. No faces, nothing—until the glint of metal flashed into her view. It was small, but she immediately knew what it was. It was the metal on El’s watch—the watch she’d given him.
A tear slid down her cheek, and it startled her because she hadn’t realized she was crying again. She felt the pad of El’s thumb sweep across her face, then felt a soft tissue against her skin. Her emotions were all over the place but she knew she couldn’t afford to let them get the best of her. She needed to get through this so she could go back to her life. As soon as possible.
Later, after countless scans, multiple blood draws and too many