She pulled the Lexus over to the curb and when she turned back to him, Will could see tears swimming in her eyes. He wasn’t sure what to say. Had he caused this? Will reached out and cupped her face in his palm, brushing away her tears with his thumb. “Why are you crying?”
She shook her head and glanced away, but he forced her gaze to meet his. “Why?” he whispered, his heart aching at the pained expression on her beautiful face.
“Because there was a time when I could have talked you out of taking such risks. And now I wonder if I’m the reason you take them.” She drew a ragged breath. “Please tell me you didn’t choose that job because I sent you that letter.”
“I did choose it. But I chose it because it was a great opportunity and the pay grade was good.” He shrugged. “I save a lot of lives. And a lot of limbs.”
In truth, he’d chosen the job because it would force him to focus and he’d thought it would put her out of his head. He’d spent far too many nights thinking about her, and far too many days rewriting their history. EOD had forced him to move on with his life.
Of course, he couldn’t explain that to her. Or the fact that after seeing her again, he realized it had only been a temporary solution. He wasn’t over her at all. No, telling her that would be far too cruel.
Will drew a deep breath. “I could really use that cup of coffee right about now.”
Liv nodded and pulled the car back out into the street. “Me, too.”
BY THE TIME they reached the coffee shop, Olivia had managed to gather her wits. She chose a table near the windows and Will followed her, taking the seat that faced the door. The shop was nearly empty except for a trio of high school students discussing homework at a nearby booth.
As Will studied the menu, she watched him, barely able to contain her curiosity. She wanted to press him further on his specific injuries, on the medical prognosis for his recovery, on treatments he’d already had. It was easier for her to react like a doctor—only because it was impossible to accept what she’d done to him as a woman.
Not a woman, a child. She’d reacted to his decision to enlist like a spoiled brat, angry that he’d had the temerity to choose the military over her. At twenty years old, she had been completely self-absorbed, certain that Will’s sole purpose in life had been to make her happy. The memory made her wince.
She’d had their whole life planned out for them, the wedding, the house, the family, all without bothering to get his opinion. She’d been aware that he’d always wanted a military career, but sure she could talk him out of it. After all, how could she attend medical school if she had to follow Will around the country?
And when she’d sent him the letter, she’d meant to punish him for all the lonely nights apart and all the shattered dreams. Olivia had assumed that he’d come home on leave and they’d work everything out. But he’d never written or called. And he’d never come home. She knew he must have had the opportunity, but he’d stayed away.
After finishing college, she’d left for Chicago and medical school. And with that, the end of what they’d been was final. She had other dreams now, she reminded herself. After all, she’d just received enough grant money to set up a string of local wellness clinics for the residents of the UP, a dream she’d had since med school.
She reached out and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. “How long will you be home?”
“I’m not sure. I can’t go back until the medical board clears me for active duty. I know I’m not ready yet. I was supposed to check in at the VA hospital in Iron Mountain and then they’d check me out and find me a local doctor to handle my case.”
“I could do that,” she said.
Will shook his head. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to play doctor.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows and Olivia pictured the two of them, alone in an exam room.
“I could recommend someone, then,” Olivia countered, her cheeks warming with a blush. “I’m familiar with all the doctors in the area.” She took a sip of her coffee. “How are you going to get down to Iron Mountain if you don’t drive?”
“J.T. was supposed to take me. We were supposed to drive down this morning, but he got a job so I had to cancel the appointment.”
“I could drive you,” Olivia offered. “I have a couple days off next week. We could go then.”
“I won’t get in on such short notice.”
“I’m sure if you call, they’ll take you right away.”
“You don’t know the VA.”
“I could call them,” she said.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ll take care of it.” Will reached out and grabbed a packet of sugar. He tried to tear it open but his hand trembled. He met her gaze and she could see a flicker of frustration in the blue depths.
“It comes and goes,” he murmured. “It’s worse when I’m tired.”
“What else is going on with you? You can talk to me.”
“I don’t want to complain about my problems,” he said. “I just want to get better and get back to my unit.”
“Are you taking any medication?”
“I don’t like the drugs. They don’t help. And they make me...fuzzy.” He shook his head. “Can we talk about something else? How are your parents?”
Olivia shook her head, surprised by the ease at which he’d turned the tables on her. “You really want to talk about my parents?”
“We’re done talking about my medical condition.”
“My parents are fine. They’re divorced now, but they’re fine. My mother lives in San Diego. She’s got a studio there and she’s had a couple of very successful shows. My father retired from Michigan Tech a few years ago and he’s teaching physics at the high school in Houghton.”
“I didn’t hear about the divorce. What happened?”
“There was a disagreement between them that they couldn’t get over.”
“About?”
“My mother never bargained for a life as the wife of an unimportant college professor. She’d always imagined herself as an artist, living in an Ivy League town on the East Coast, not stuck in some frozen wasteland in the UP. She put her dreams aside to follow her husband, but after a while she decided she didn’t want to live his life.”
“Well, that clears up a lot of questions I have about her feelings toward me,” Will said.
Olivia wanted to reach out and touch him, to cover his hand with hers. The need for physical contact was nearly overwhelming, but she held back, knowing that the attraction would only lead to trouble. The whole point of this talk was closure, not to pick up where they left off. “How so?” she asked.
“She didn’t want you to follow me around. Hell, I don’t blame her. Military life isn’t for everyone.”
“She wanted me to become a doctor and she wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that—not you, not my father, not even me. She never stopped pushing. And I guess I was such a mess after you left that she finally convinced me she was right.”
“Was she?” Will asked.
Olivia thought about the question for a long moment. In truth, she’d been thinking about that question for years, since the day she’d dropped the letter in the slot at the post office. “We were so young.”
“We were in love,” he replied softly. Their gazes met for a long moment,