“You know, Mr. Soldier Stud and you would make beautiful babies, if I do say so myself.”
Jess almost spat out her mouthful of coffee. “Babies?”
How had the subject swung around to her all of a sudden?
“Oh, come on,” Bella said as she swatted her hand through the air. “Don’t go telling me you don’t want a family of your own one day.”
Her heart seemed to twinge, like a small knife had been thrown into it. She had always dreamed of being a mother, but the chance of that happening seemed less and less likely these days. It wasn’t even the kind of thing she’d let herself think about this last year.
“Maybe, Bella, but not with Ryan.”
Her friend snorted. “Why not Ryan? He’s gorgeous, funny, buff, did I mention gorgeous?”
It wasn’t like Jess didn’t agree, but it just wasn’t a possibility. “You forget that he’s a widower, a father, and oh, that’s right. A soldier. Who’s returning to his unit soon.”
“Okay, so I get the soldier part, but that’s doable. Heaps of soldiers are great husbands.” Bella paused. “The fact that he’s a widower doesn’t mean he can’t fall in love again, and so what if he already has a son?”
“I know it sounds lame, but …”
There was no way Ryan would consider a relationship with her if he knew the truth, and she didn’t want to get serious. She wasn’t ready to trust someone like that again. To put all her love and dreams into another person only to have them sucked away forever. And she didn’t intend on putting anyone through her getting sick again. It was unlikely, but not impossible, and she’d rather be alone until she at least hit the five-year remission mark.
Bella gestured at her to continue.
“It’s nothing. Let’s just talk about something else, okay?”
Her friend just laughed. Not the response she’d expected.
“Well, well. Look who’s walking toward us.”
Jess glanced up and didn’t see anyone. “Where?”
“Over your shoulder.” Bella smirked. “It’s the stud himself.”
Jessica scowled at Bella before turning. “You seriously need to get out more. You’re getting tragic.”
But she felt her own heart start to race—the flutter in her belly that started whenever she was around Ryan began tickling her over and over.
Ryan hadn’t seen them. He was walking with a young boy, clearly his son, and they were talking. Talking!
The nervousness she’d felt at him walking toward her disappeared as she watched the two of them smiling and chatting. Something major must have happened last night.
He’d be over the moon to be spending time with George.
Jessica felt her cheeks ignite. She hoped the smile on his face still had something to do with their kiss, too. It sure had her heart racing again just thinking about it.
Bella kicked her under the table. “Well? Get up!”
She glared at Bella before rising. She raised one hand, hesitantly. An even wider smile crossed Ryan’s face when he saw her. She watched as he touched his son on the shoulder and directed him their way.
“Hi, Ryan,” Jessica called out as they came nearer, swallowing away her nervousness.
“Hi.” He gave her a beamer of a smile back and put his hand back on the boy’s shoulder. “Jess, I’d like you to meet my son, George.”
The kid gave her an awkward smile. “Hey.”
“Hi, George. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“And this is Bella,” Ryan said, gesturing toward her friend.
George nodded in Bella’s direction.
“So where are you two off to?”
Ryan stepped back slightly from his son. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure him that he was doing a good job, but she didn’t dare move any closer. They were only friends, and his son didn’t need any confusing messages sent his way. Not when he was finally on speaking terms with his father.
“We’re going to grab an ice cream then walk back home.”
She was dying to know what had happened. “Sounds like a plan. I’d invite you to join us but you two probably want to spend some time alone together, right?”
George was shuffling his feet, head down, awkward. She felt sorry for him.
“Yeah,” said Ryan, obviously picking up on his son’s discomfort. “We had better get going.”
That made George look up.
“Nice to see you, Ryan,” Jess said.
“Yeah, you, too. See you, Bella.”
Bella waved and grinned back at him.
“Great to meet you, George. Have a nice afternoon,” Jess said.
The boy met Jessica’s gaze, and she wasn’t sure what she saw there. A touch of happiness perhaps, but more uncertainty than anything. She wished she could help him, talk to him maybe, but Ryan would find his way with him. It looked like they’d made some good progress. And it wasn’t about how they got there, it was about how well they connected along the way. Ryan was his father and no matter how hard he was finding it, George was his son and deep down he would want to let his dad in. No child wanted to feel alone.
They started to walk away, father and son, before Ryan turned back. His large frame against George’s slight one brought a smile to her face all over again.
“We still on for tomorrow night?”
Jess nodded. “I’ll see you around seven.”
Ryan gave her a wink and turned away again, but she hardly noticed it. It didn’t make her heart palpitate like it usually would. Because it was George’s last look at her over his shoulder that registered in her brain. The look of horror that passed through his eyes, the disbelief, said it all.
She wanted to run after them, explain she was only friends with his dad, tell Ryan that he needed to talk to his son about them. But it was too late.
She could have been wrong, but from the extra distance now between them, and the despairing stoop of George’s shoulders, she knew she was right.
He had gone from happy to be out with his father to wondering if his dad was trying to replace his mom. And if he thought Ryan had come home for her and not for him, his son, then they’d end up right back at square one all over again.
“You all right?”
Bella pulled her back to reality.
“Why does everything have to be so complicated?” Jess asked.
Hercules moaned at her feet, a big sigh that made her wish she could do the same, whinge then put her paws over her eyes to block out the world.
Bella had no idea what she was talking about, and Jessica didn’t want to discuss it. The last thing she needed was something else to panic about.
“Tell me more about Ruby, okay? Just make me smile.”
Bella frowned but didn’t push the point. Sometimes even her best friend knew when not to pry.
Ryan was starting to feel like there was a pattern developing as he drove toward Jessica’s house. His palms had started to clam up and he was getting nervous again. Not alarmingly nervous, but it was there, and it wasn’t