‘Work is fun.’ He looked up and smiled. ‘I love what I do. Don’t you love what you do?’
‘Sure I do. I really do, actually.’
Ruben, now back in position leaning against cushions, had a sly look in his eye. ‘You’re meaning social fun, aren’t you?’ he asked.
She shrugged as if she weren’t that interested. ‘I’m guessing you enjoy your guests’ company.’
‘Some more than others,’ he answered glibly. ‘But not in the way you’re thinking. You were an exception and you know it.’
Yes, but nothing could come of the flame between them—there was no future in terms of a relationship. She might bring tours here but she could avoid him completely if she wanted to.
Thing was, she didn’t want to.
But she knew that if she agreed to a fling, when it was over there’d be no contact at all between them. It was how she worked and she was pretty sure it was how he’d work too.
The thought of not ever seeing him again squeezed her vulnerable heart hard. She wanted to see him. She wanted to know how his current deal worked out. She liked hanging out, she liked the aura of freedom he had, she liked how he made her laugh. Yeah, she wanted more of his company and she shouldn’t. But if she worked out some boundaries—where she wouldn’t give too much and thus not expect too much either—then maybe she could live with it.
‘I think we should try to be friends,’ she blurted decisively. ‘We should put this on a friend level.’
Ruben choked on nothing but fresh air.
‘I’m serious.’ She smiled as she watched him gasp. ‘We have a lot in common. We laugh together. We’re similar in that work is important to us. We get on well.’
‘And your point?’
She figured she could have him in her life as a friend, or not have him in her life at all. And though she knew she probably should, given how attractive she found him, she wasn’t ready to cast him out of her life completely. She was still too curious. ‘We can be civilised, can’t we?’
‘There’s nothing civilised about the things I want to do with you.’
She closed her eyes for a second and waited for the blood to recede from her cheeks. ‘But if we have a fling what do you think will happen in the end?’
He didn’t answer.
‘What usually happens?’ she prompted.
He began to smile, that wry, rueful smile.
‘Are you in contact with any of them?’ she asked softly.
His shoulders lifted. ‘If our paths cross we smile and wave and it’s all lovely and amicable.’
‘Because they have too much pride to show you how hurt they are inside,’ Ellie said dryly.
His brows lifted. ‘Honey, I’m not with any one woman long enough for her to get hurt.’
Ellie’s laugh came out as a snort but his words made her all the more resolved—she didn’t want too few hot nights, she’d rather have long-term laughs.
‘Well, okay, what about you?’ he said firmly. ‘Are you in contact with your exes?’
As if. ‘I haven’t had as many as you,’ she said pointedly. ‘But usually what happens is I have a relationship and, not too long later, the guy moves on. I used to try everything to please him, so he’d stick around longer, but I’m not going to bend myself into any more boxes in order to try to keep anyone.’ She was never doing that again. ‘I don’t see any of them any more.’
‘So you’re not going to bend into any boxes for me?’
She shook her head with a laugh.
‘I’m feeling a little insulted,’ he said mildly.
‘Don’t be. Actually you should feel pleased. I want to stay in touch with you.’ She really did.
‘And that’s a first? None of your other men?’
‘How many do you think there’ve been?’ She rolled her eyes when she saw the amused look on his face. ‘No, I’m not in touch with any of the two hundred and eighty-four. They were jerks.’
He laughed. ‘I don’t want to be a jerk to you. I like you. I like talking to you.’
‘Exactly!’ Great, this was easier than she’d thought it would be.
‘I still want to have sex with you, though.’
Okay, maybe not so easy. ‘You’ll get over that.’
‘You’re saying you’re over it?’ He moved towards her.
She darted sideways out of reach. ‘Look—’ she held him off firmly ‘—everybody says you have to feed passion, indulge it, have so much until you don’t want it any more. But the only way to kill a fire is to starve it.’
‘And you want to kill it?’ He paused, clearly in disbelief.
‘Well, that’s best, right? Because I don’t want us to lose all contact. I like hanging out with you.’
‘I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted. You want me to be your buddy?’ His unbelieving smile became positively evil. ‘How about buddy with benefits?’
‘No benefits. Too messy. It would never work.’ She was adamant on that.
He stared at her. ‘You really want to be friends more than you want to have sex again?’ he asked, utterly incredulous.
She inhaled deeply. ‘Yes.’
‘I don’t believe you. In fact I reckon I could get you to change your mind in about a minute or less.’
‘If you put your mouth to that task, then I’d probably have to agree with you,’ she admitted. ‘But then I’d walk out of your life and that would be that. I don’t want to have a fling with you. But I do want to be a friend.’
‘You’re giving me an ultimatum?’ He sat an inch from her, clearly astounded.
‘Think of it as a challenge.’
‘Why would I put myself through that kind of a challenge?’
‘How many friends do you have?’ she asked, deadly serious.
‘I have hundreds of friends.’
‘I mean real, true, deep friends?’ she asked.
‘Friends are friends.’ He shrugged off her scepticism. ‘I like lots of them.’
‘Then this should be easy, right?’ she teased.
He sighed. ‘You really don’t want to be friends with benefits, or even just little perks?’
‘That way lies mess and complication. This way lies companionship.’
‘Companionship.’ He all but spat the word.
‘I know there’s no such thing as commitment from a guy like you, Ruben.’
He turned into a statue before her eyes.
‘To be honest, that’s not what I want in my life at this stage either,’ she reassured him with a smile. ‘Things are exciting for me. I’ve got this great job with awesome opportunities...’ She wanted to focus on succeeding with that.
‘Do you really think we can get past the physical attraction?’ Ruben really wasn’t sure that was going to be possible.
‘Sure we can. We’re adults, not animals.’
‘You like it animal,’ he taunted softly, pleased that she still blushed for him.