The thought was like a dash of cold water, returning her with sickening speed to the reality of the situation. And the reality was that Connor allowed nothing to come before his precious career. Nothing had ever mattered as much and nothing ever would, neither a woman nor a child. The thought helped her harden her heart.
‘Is this leading somewhere?’ She gave him a mocking smile. ‘So far we’ve covered your schooldays, your meeting with Lisa, and the fact that I have a baby. So what else do you wish to discuss?’
‘Nothing very much. I’ve covered the main topics.’ He gave a throaty laugh. ‘Funnily enough, they’re all linked. Meeting Lisa was the start, you see, then came the maths. It was easy enough to subtract the months until I got back to the beginning, which was when your baby was conceived. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’d guess it was April last year. If Isabel is six months old, it would have to be around that time unless she was premature, and Lisa didn’t mention that.’
‘I’m not listening to this,’ Lucy began, but he carried on as though she’d never spoken.
‘So assuming that Isabel went to term that means April is right. A lot of things happened that April, as I recall. We spent a lot of time together, including that weekend in Scotland. In fact, if you factor in work—which brings me back to the maths again—then I’d say you had very little opportunity to see anyone else when you were spending so much time with me. Ipso facto, Isabel must be my daughter. Am I right, Lucy? Or have my powers of deduction failed me this time?’
Lucy didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t even claim that it was like having her worst nightmare come true because she’d never dreamt that she and Connor would have this conversation. Since the night they’d parted she’d not heard a word from him—not even a card at Christmas. He had walked out of her life and that had been it. Now she had no idea how to deal with what was happening and her confusion must have shown.
‘I don’t know what you’re planning on doing but, please, don’t bother trying to lie your way out of this. It would be a mistake, because I’m not in the mood to listen to any lies. We both know that Isabel is my daughter. She couldn’t possibly be anyone else’s.’
‘Why not? I could have been seeing someone else while we were going out together.’ She stared back at him, desperately trying to hold onto her control. She had no idea why he was even interested that he had a child but something warned her that no good would come of it.
‘Not you, Lucy. It’s not something you’d do.’
The certainty in his voice almost tipped her over the edge and she had to breathe deeply to control her panic.
‘Isn’t it?’ She gave a mocking laugh and was pleased to see his eyelids flicker. Was he having doubts about her faithfulness, wondering if she might have been two-timing him? She hoped so, she really did. Connor Mackenzie needed taking down a peg or two!
‘Are you sure about that, Connor? You might be able to account for a large proportion of my time that April but you weren’t with me every single minute, were you? There were a number of nights when you were working and I was off duty. Do you know with absolute certainty what I was doing on those nights?’
‘No, I don’t. I wasn’t keeping tabs on you.’
‘Exactly!’ She laughed again, playing the role of her life. It was vital she convinced him that he couldn’t be Isabel’s father. Nothing was going to hurt her precious little girl and if that meant denying Connor’s paternity, that was what she would do.
‘You haven’t the faintest idea what went on when you were at work. You didn’t really care. Your job has always come first and I don’t imagine it would have worried you if you’d found out I was seeing someone else.’
‘So who was he, then?’ His voice grated but apart from that he seemed unmoved by the fact that she’d claimed to have been having an affair while they’d been seeing each other.
Lucy felt a knot of pain twist her heart but she couldn’t afford to admit that it hurt to know how little she’d meant to him. ‘Just someone I met one night in a club.’
‘So it was a one-night stand—is that what you’re saying?’
‘That’s right. I haven’t seen him since and I don’t expect to. He was in Dalverston on business and there’s no reason to imagine I’ll run into him again.’
‘And does he have a name? Or didn’t you bother asking him that?’
He smiled at her, his white teeth gleaming, his eyes sparkling with what looked like amusement. Was he relieved to have been let off the hook? she wondered, feeling sickly. Glad that another man was the father of her child so that he wouldn’t have to worry about the responsibilities of being a parent? The thought was almost too much to bear, but she had to bear it for Izzy’s sake.
‘I don’t see what difference it makes what his name is. He’s not part of the equation, to use your own analogy.’
‘And you’re perfectly happy about that, are you? You don’t care that your daughter is going to grow up without knowing her father?’
‘A lot of children don’t have any contact with one or other of their parents these days. I’m quite sure that it won’t make a lot of difference to Isabel’s life.’
It wasn’t true, of course. She did worry about what her daughter was going to miss as she grew up. Her own childhood had been idyllic and she hated to think that Izzy wouldn’t enjoy the support that came from a secure family background. However, there was no way that she was prepared to admit that to Connor, especially when he’d accepted her story about another man so readily. If she’d fostered any hopes that he’d ever loved her, they’d just been completely dashed.
The thought was so painful that Lucy knew she had to bring the conversation to an end. She looked pointedly at her watch. ‘I need to get back. We’re two members of staff down today so we’re working at full stretch.’
‘Of course. I’m sorry to have delayed you but I’m glad we’ve had this chat. It’s helped to clear up a few things which have been bothering me since I spoke to Lisa.’
He stepped away from the door, but instead of moving out of her way so she could leave, he stopped directly in front of her. Lucy felt her heart start to race when she saw how grim he looked. There was no sign of amusement on his face now and no hint of softness in his voice either.
‘The thing I always admired about you, Lucy, was your honesty. You said what you meant and you meant what you said, but obviously you’ve changed.’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she began, but he shook his head.
‘Of course you do. You would never have told me that pack of lies about Isabel’s father a year ago. There was no other man and we both know that. I’m her father and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for trying to hide her existence from me, but I do know that things are going to change from now on.
‘She’s my daughter as well as yours and I intend to play a proper role in her life. So if you’re harbouring any thoughts of cutting me out then I suggest you forget them. I shall do whatever it takes to be a real father to that little girl. And if that means taking you to court to gain access to her, that’s what I’ll do.’
‘Connor…!’ she began, but he’d already turned away. Lucy pressed her hand to her mouth as he strode out of the door. She’d always believed that she’d been right not to tell him about Izzy but it didn’t feel that way any more. It felt as though she’d not only let her daughter down but Connor as well, which was crazy. She didn’t owe him any allegiance. He’d walked out of her life and he had no right to think that he could come back now and create havoc!
She