‘I based a lot of it on the HEMS system,’ Sean explained. ‘London’s Helicopter Emergency Service is second to none and they gave me a lot good advice. Obviously, we’re working in a rural area rather than a city but the same principles apply. Time is of the essence if you want to save lives.’ He broke off and smiled. ‘Hi, what can I do for you?’
Ben felt his pulse jerk when he glanced round and saw Holly standing in the doorway. She’d changed out of her working clothes and the sight of her slender body clad in a simple denim skirt and a T-shirt sent a rush of heat through his veins. She’d pinned her thick chestnut hair into a knot on the top of her head but tiny wisps were already escaping and curling about her ears. She looked so young and lovely that he wanted to drink in her beauty and let it soak away the stresses of the day but he didn’t dare indulge in such pleasures unless he was willing to risk making a fool of himself.
He turned back to the desk, his heart pounding when Holly came and stood behind his chair. He could smell the faint aroma of antiseptic that clung to her skin—a scent they probably all carried on them—yet on Holly it smelled so seductive that his body immediately quickened. Ben stifled a groan, praying that Holly couldn’t tell what was happening. If she ever found out that the smell of antiseptic had caused him to have an erection, she’d think he was perverted!
‘Sorry to interrupt you, Sean, but I thought you’d like to know that the coach driver is out of Theatre. There’s a good chance he won’t lose his leg, too,’ she said, steadfastly ignoring Ben as she addressed Sean over the top of his head.
‘That’s wonderful! I know the prognosis wasn’t great when Max first saw him,’ Sean declared, referring to Max Jenkins, the head of the trauma surgery team. ‘But obviously things have worked out better than we feared. I don’t know if you’ve heard but Charity Adams had a baby girl. She’s been taken to the prem baby unit but they’re not expecting any major problems apparently, so that’s another success you two can notch up. Obviously, you make a great team.’
‘I’m sure the outcome would have been the same no matter who’d treated them,’ Holly said quietly, but Ben knew that what she was really trying to say was that she didn’t think their alliance had been anything special.
Was she worried in case Sean decided to team them up again in the future? he thought with a flash of bitterness. So far as Holly was concerned, he could take a long walk off a short pier and it was upsetting to realise how much she disliked him.
‘Maybe, but some people just seem to have a natural affinity and work well together. I’ll certainly bear it in mind,’ Sean stated, oblivious to the problems he might be creating.
Ben was hard-pressed to conceal his dismay. Being constantly paired up together would be a recipe for disaster if they didn’t manage to resolve their differences. When Holly turned to leave, he stood up because something needed to be done about the situation.
‘If that’s all, Sean, I’ll see if Holly can spare me a few minutes to go over a couple of things,’ he explained, ignoring the hostile look she shot his way as he followed her to the door.
‘Good idea, but don’t work too hard. Don’t forget that you’ve got to come back here tomorrow and do this all over again!’
‘We won’t.’ Ben’s jaw was aching from the effort of keeping his smile tacked into place. Holly was sending some very nasty vibes his way and he could tell that she was furious with him. He closed the office door then took her by the arm and propelled her along the corridor, looking for somewhere that would afford them some privacy. Resus was empty so he steered her in there and made sure the door was shut before he released her.
‘Who the hell do you think you are, manhandling me like that?’ she snarled like a small cat that had been backed into a corner.
‘I’m sorry but it was the only way to stop you saying something stupid,’ he shot back with a sad lack of tact.
‘Don’t you dare call me stupid.’
‘I’m sorry! OK?’ He took a deep breath and counted to ten when he realised he’d shouted back at her. Nobody had ever been able to rile him the way Holly could. She’d always possessed the ability to make him respond to her whether it was in anger or in passion.
His brain captured that last word and ran away with it. Ben’s heart raced as he suddenly recalled how it had been between them in the past, how easily their passion for each other had been roused. All he’d had to do had been to touch her—just the lightest, most delicate of touches, too—and sparks had ignited. They used to joke about it, in fact, one of those silly jokes that lovers shared about lighting the blue touch paper and standing back, and the memory brought a rush of tears to his eyes.
How he ached to relive the passion they had once shared, to run his hands over her skin and watch her body coming to life, feel her hands caressing him and making him feel whole again. Holly could make him feel as he’d used to feel, like someone who didn’t need to be afraid of what the future held. She could give him back his life and the thought filled him with despair because there was no way that he could let her do that for him. Even though his consultant had told him the prognosis was good, there was no guarantee that his cancer wouldn’t return. He could never get involved with Holly again because he wouldn’t take the risk of breaking her heart a second time.
‘Ben, what’s the matter? Ben!’
Holly could feel a lump of fear in the pit of her stomach. Ben didn’t say a word and the sight of him standing there with tears in his eyes was more than she could bear. She put her arms around him and hugged him because there was no other way she could think of that might help. Ben had always been so strong in the past and to see him looking so afraid now almost broke her heart.
‘It’s OK,’ she murmured, reaching up to stroke his hair. Ben had always worn his hair short but it was shorter than ever now, she realised in surprise, and the texture felt different, too, far less silky and a lot coarser than it had been.
Oddly unsettled by the discovery, she let her hands move down to his shoulders and was alarmed to discover how bony they felt. He was still wearing his flight-suit but not even the bulky clothing could disguise his thinness. She could feel his hip bones jutting into her, feel the hard sinews in his thighs pressing against her own, and sucked in a small breath because the intimacy of their position wasn’t lost on her. However, she was more concerned about the changes in his physique to worry about anything else right then.
She ran an exploratory hand down his back and frowned when she felt the ridges that marked each separate vertebra and rib. It was obvious that he’d had lost a great deal of weight in the past couple of years and she had no idea why. Had he been ill perhaps? She was just about to ask him when he suddenly stepped back and she was forced to release him.
‘I’m sorry…again!’ His voice was husky despite his attempts at levity and Holly’s heart was immediately touched all over again. Maybe she had spent the last two years toughening herself up but it just wasn’t possible to remain indifferent to him.
‘You don’t have to apologise, Ben.’
‘Thanks.’
He didn’t try to pretend that everything was fine and she was grateful for that. They had always tried to be honest with one another when they’d lived together, had made it a rule that they wouldn’t lie to save face or each other’s feelings. Even when Ben had told her he was leaving he hadn’t lied about his reasons, as so many men might have done. It was strange because she hadn’t realised before how much his honesty had meant to her.
‘Is it something you want to talk about?’ she asked, amazed that she could find anything positive about their parting when it had hurt so badly.
‘Not really.’
‘OK.