Everyone applauded loudly before the meeting broke up. There was an emergency unit to run and time was at a premium. Holly went to fetch her bag, pausing when Sean came over to speak to her. He had Ben with him and she quickly adopted a suitably neutral expression.
‘I’d like you to take Ben under your wing, please, Holly. I’ve managed to fill him in on the basics but there hasn’t been time to give him the full course of training you had.’ Sean turned to Ben. ‘Maybe you two could get together and swot up on any areas you’re concerned about. Holly was our star pupil and I’m sure she’ll be able to bring you up to speed.’
‘That would be great, so long as Holly doesn’t mind, of course,’ Ben said quietly, but Holly could hear the reservation in his voice even if Sean had missed it.
Her mouth compressed as she picked up her bulging tote bag. Did Ben hate the thought of having her act as his tutor because he felt guilty about what he’d done two years ago? Or was she kidding herself by thinking that he cared a jot?
Probably the latter, she decided, tucking the bag under her arm. If Ben had possessed even an ounce of decency then he would never have treated her the way he had.
‘Holly?’
She looked up when she realised that Sean was waiting for her to confirm that she was happy about his suggestion. Even though helping Ben was the last thing she felt like doing, she couldn’t admit that. It had been drummed into them during the training sessions that they were all part of a team and that it was only by working as a team that they would make a success of this venture. How could she blot her copy book at such an early stage by refusing to help a colleague?
‘I’ll be pleased to help any way I can,’ she said with a sweet smile that didn’t fool Ben for a second if his expression was anything to go by. Thankfully, Sean seemed oblivious to the undercurrents as he beamed at them both.
‘Great! That’s a weight off my mind. Having to find a last-minute replacement has been a real headache. I had some sleepless nights until I heard that Ben was interested in the job.’ He clapped the younger man on the shoulder. ‘I know you’ve had it rough in the last few years but let’s hope this is a turning point for you. We need doctors of your calibre.’
Holly frowned. She had no idea what Sean had meant about Ben having had a rough time. She looked enquiringly at him when Sean moved away. ‘That sounded intriguing. What’s been happening to you of late, then?’
‘Oh, nothing very interesting.’ Ben briskly changed the subject. ‘Look, Holly, I know how…well…awkward this must be for you….’
‘Awkward?’ She felt herself bridling and glared at him, unable to believe the arrogance of that statement. ‘Why should I feel the least bit awkward?’
‘Because we didn’t exactly part on the best of terms, if you recall.’ His expression darkened as he returned her look with one which held more than a hint of challenge. ‘You aren’t going to pretend that you’ve forgotten what happened, I hope. That’s nonsense, as well you know.’
‘Of course I haven’t forgotten!’ She laughed scornfully, enjoying the fact that he seemed so rattled. Good! He deserved his comeuppance after the appalling way he’d treated her. ‘What you did to me, Ben, was such a rotten, low-down thing to do to anyone that there’s no way I’ll ever forget it.’
‘I know how it must have seemed,’ he began, but she carried on, cutting off his apology if, indeed, an apology was what he’d intended.
‘But in a way I’m grateful to you for what you did.’
‘Grateful?’
The surprise in his voice was like balm to her soul and went a long way towards making up for all those nights she’d spent, sobbing into her pillow. She smiled at him, seeing the shock that had turned his blue eyes the colour of a stormy sky. Ben had always been sinfully handsome and she, like so many women, had fallen for his dark good looks. However, she felt nothing when she looked at him now, she assured herself, not even a flicker of interest. She was well and truly over him and her heart was once more whole again even if there were scars on it.
‘Yes. You taught me a valuable lesson, Ben, made me see how stupid it is to rely on anyone else for your happiness. You have to take charge of your life and do what you want.’ She shrugged. ‘That’s why I’m grateful to you because I’ll never make the same mistake again. I’m my own woman now, Ben, not someone’s girlfriend or lover. And d’you know what? It feels good to be me!’
Ben wished he could believe that but there was no way he could ignore the underlying pain in Holly’s voice. It was proof of how much he’d hurt her two years ago and there was no way he could make amends for what he’d done. He couldn’t tell her the truth, couldn’t admit that there had been no other woman, because it would lead to questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.
Finding out two years ago that he had cancer of the colon had rocked his whole world. All he’d been able to think about had been that he mustn’t let it affect Holly in any way. He’d seen the devastating effects that dealing with serious illness could have and had sworn he wouldn’t put Holly through that ordeal. She’d been just starting out on her career with her whole future ahead of her and it wouldn’t have been fair to burden her with his problems. So he’d made the decision not to tell her and had made up some story about meeting someone else.
Lying to her had been the hardest thing he’d ever done but it had been the right decision. Holly had been able to get on with her life and that was what he’d wanted so desperately. Now he had to make sure she never found out the truth because it would only cause problems. He had to forget the past and focus on the present, although it wasn’t going to be easy. Working with Holly would be a constant reminder of what he’d lost.
‘Then all I can say is that I’m glad you’re happy.’ He smiled, aiming for nonchalance and probably missing it by miles. ‘I’d hate there to be any problems about us working together.’
‘No chance of that, I assure you.’
She laughed and Ben felt his stomach muscles bunch when his mind immediately logged the sound and found a matching one in his memory bank. Holly’s laughter had been the very first thing he’d noticed about her and it was hard not to remember what had happened that day, how he had stopped on his way through Casualty when he’d heard her laughing then had turned around to go back and find her.
Memories whizzed around inside his head and he winced because it was painful to think about the past when he’d been determined to forget it. Holly had been attending to a small boy when he’d tracked her down and he could still remember how glorious her chestnut curls had looked as they’d tumbled around her face when she’d bent to hug the child. He must have made some sort of sound because she’d suddenly looked round and it had felt as though he’d been hit by a sledgehammer when he’d got his first glimpse of her face. He’d never believed that love at first sight had existed outside the pages of a romance novel until that moment…
‘Ben?’
Holly tapped him on the arm, rather hard and definitely impatiently, and he jumped. ‘What?’
‘We’ve got our first shout. Didn’t you hear what Sean said?’
She didn’t bother waiting for him to answer as she hurried to the door. Ben followed in her wake, delighted to have something to shift his brain out of its introspective mode. It was the present that mattered, he reminded himself, what was happening at this very minute, and already he could feel the excitement building as everyone gathered in the office.
‘RTA on the road leading through Dalverston Fell,’ Sean announced. ‘A coach full of tourists has overturned. There’s a five-mile tailback of traffic so we’ll be using the helicopter and the motorbike for speed. Holly, you take the bike. The police have given us a map reference so use the satellite navigation system to find a route that will avoid the traffic.’
Ben moved aside as Holly