“Stop,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to hear it. It’s not money that I need from you.”
He looked surprised. “If you’re talking about … well, commitments, Darcy, you know I can’t …”
She looked away, avoiding his eyes. “I know that. I’m not asking you to completely change your life around.”
“So what exactly are you asking from me, Darcy?” he asked softly.
She closed her eyes. It was a darn good question. What she wanted in her heart of hearts was something impossible and she didn’t even bother bringing it up. Opening her eyes again, she turned and met his gaze. This was so important. If only she could find the right words to make him understand how very important it really was.
“I’ve tried to think this through and define what’s best for the boys,” she said. “They need a dad. You’re the first choice. You don’t have to marry me to be their dad, you know. If you could imagine just being a presence in their lives …”
Her voice choked and she stopped. He made a move toward her, but she pulled back.
“If you don’t think you can do that,” she went on in a rush, “I wish you’d tell me right away. Because I’ll have to find someone else to be their father-figure.”
His blue eyes registered shock at that. “What do you mean?”
She straightened her shoulders, regaining her strength. “I think that was pretty clear. I’ll need to marry someone. Someone else,” she added hastily.
“Someone else? Who?”
She shook her head, feeling stronger all the time. “Oh, I don’t know. There are a few candidates.”
“Kevin?” he asked, a hint of scorn in his tone.
She shrugged. “He’s a possibility. But actually, I was thinking more along the lines of …” She hesitated, wondering if she really wanted to say this, then rushed ahead. “Bert Lensen in accounting.”
“Bert Lensen?” He frowned. “Isn’t he that short, chubby, balding guy?”
“Yes. Very nice man. Not married. Seems to like me. Always asks about the twins.”
“Uh-huh” He shook his head, looking skeptical. He was beginning to suspect he was being snowed. “I don’t know, Darcy. I just don’t see you with a man like that.”
“No?” Her eyes flashed. “Well, think again. He’s perfect, actually.”
“Perfect! You’re not serious.”
“Sure. I’m not looking for a weekend fling,” she said pointedly. “I’m looking for a ‘slow and steady wins the race’ sort of guy. I need a real father for my children. I need someone reliable.”
“Unlike me.”
She drew breath deep down into her lungs. She could read a deep sense of injury in his gaze. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, just make him think a little.
“That’s not what I said.”
“But it’s what you meant.” He turned away. “Face it, Darcy. Using your criteria, I’m not good enough to be the father of my own children.”
“Mitch! I never said that!”
“You didn’t have to say it. It’s obvious.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “And damn it all,” he said gruffly, shifting back to look at her, “you might be right.”
She was not going to make a comment. And this had all the signs of a conversation going nowhere. Maybe they needed to take a break from it.
“We ought to get going,” she said, staring hard into his blue eyes.
“Sure,” he responded, holding her gaze with his own.
Something sizzled in the air between them. The air was suddenly thick and hot and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
“Why don’t you grab those binoculars and let’s go take a look at the landscape,” she said, reaching for the door handle and making her escape.
He stayed where he was for a moment, watching her get out of the car and walk over to the railing. This was just plain nuts. He’d never felt so out of control.
He’d always prided himself on being able to stay detached from the women he had relationships with. He was up-front about what could be expected. No one he’d ever dated had cause to complain—and he’d never stayed in one place or with one woman long enough to build up any sort of commitment expectations.
But everything had gone out of whack with Darcy. From the moment their gazes had met in the rainy doorway, it had been as though something were drawing them together. He’d never felt this way before. And now, when she started talking about marrying Bert Lenson … The first thing he’d felt was an ugly urge to go beat the poor guy to a pulp. The thought of another man touching her was like a knife in his gut. He couldn’t stand it. But as of this moment, he had no real claim to her.
Nothing was making any sense.
Swearing softly to himself, he took the binoculars from the glove compartment and left the car to join her at the railing.
CHAPTER SIX
“LOOK,” Darcy said, making a wide sweep with her arm. “Texas in the noonday sun. Isn’t she beautiful?”
Mitch heard the emotion in her voice and started to smile, but then he looked at what she was presenting to him and he frowned instead. He gazed at the rolling hills, the scattered stands of pecan and live oak, the rocky creek bottoms. A red-tailed hawk was circling a water hole and he thought he caught sight of a white-tailed deer flashing into a thicket.
It suddenly occurred to him that she was right. Why was it he had never noticed before? Texas was beautiful.
He’d spent most of the last few years in countries where deep green jungles and jagged mountains and turquoise water defined beautiful landscape. This was a different type of beauty and it resonated deeply with something in his inner core—his heart and soul. Texas was home. It had been a long time since he’d thought of it that way.
He turned and looked at Darcy. She was trying to figure out just where the borders of the Heartland Project stood and she took the binoculars from him to check. He watched the breeze ruffle her hair, exposing her tiny ear. It curled like a pink shell against her head. He wanted to touch it, run a finger around its curve. He moved closer and she looked up from the binoculars, startled to find him so near.
“Uh … I think we can see the border better from that ledge just through those bushes,” she said, gesturing toward another vantage point. “I’ll go take a look.”
She turned and went quickly, as much to flee from the look she’d seen in his eyes as anything else. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She pushed her way through the brush, looking back to see that he was following. And then a branch tangled with her hair.
“Ouch!” She stopped, caught by the bramble, yanking at it and only making matters worse.
“I’ll get it,” he said, reaching into her hair and prying the tangle loose.
She closed her eyes. He was much too close. She couldn’t breathe. He was going to touch her. She knew it without being told.
And there it was. His fingers were still wrapped in her hair, but his lips were on her neck.
“Oh!” she cried, trying without a lot of success to pull away. She swung around to look at him. “Don’t.”
He held her face in his hands. “Darcy, I can’t …”
Can’t what? she wondered a bit hysterically,