“She knows?” He stepped forward, surprise lighting his face. All Gram had said at lunch was not to hurt Alex; she’d mentioned nothing about knowing about the pregnancy. Now here was Alex, carefree and happy. He hadn’t seen that particular look on her face before, but he recognized it now. It was devoid of strain and worry. She looked like a woman who’d been given a free pass. Connor hadn’t thought it possible, but it made her even more beautiful.
“Yes,” she chirped. “I must have answered her questions satisfactorily. She’s already making wedding plans.”
Connor’s head spun. The words don’t hurt her and hungry for love echoed through his brain. He’d expected stiff resistance once she knew about the baby. Instead Gram had moved in?
“Is it too soon?”
“What?” he came out of his stupor and shook his head. “Oh. No, of course not, I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“I was too. We had a big talk this afternoon, though, Connor. Your grandmother is an amazing woman. She said she understood I didn’t know much about cooking, and when I told her I’d never gardened she said I could use a helping hand. That she’d missed it, living in her condo the way she does.”
“She did?”
“Uh-huh. And she said she’d help plan the wedding too.”
This was getting out of hand. Weddings and gardens and babies…Connor’s very logical, sensible plan was suddenly spiraling out of control. And all under the hawk-like eye of his grandmother. He agreed that she was wonderful. He also knew she was shrewd. This was her way of keeping a finger in the pie. He knew it and resented it. But he couldn’t send Johanna back to Calgary. Alex was already looking forward to the help. And he was so busy with the ranch he didn’t have time to spend with her except in the evenings. It wasn’t fair for him to expect her to while away her days all alone. If having Johanna here made her happy, he’d keep quiet. And he’d keep his eyes wide open. Helping was one thing. Meddling, however well intentioned, was another.
Besides, the less time he spent with Alex the better. Because sooner or later he’d see her looking at him like she was right now, and he’d be stupid, and kiss her like he wanted to, and complicate everything.
He changed the subject.
“She gave you your first lesson in cooking, I take it?” He looked past her shoulder to the pots bubbling on the stove.
“Yes. But she said she was going into town to have supper with a friend and not to wait up.”
“Probably Millie’s,” he surmised, naming Gram’s oldest and closest friend. And if she revealed what was going on at Windover Ranch, news of his impending marriage would be common knowledge by coffee time tomorrow.
He discovered he didn’t mind as much as he’d thought he would. For a moment he stared at Alex, picturing her in a long white dress, her mass of dark hair falling over her shoulders, and he couldn’t breathe. Alex lifted the basket again, momentarily placing her palm on the slight bubble of her belly, and his heart contracted painfully.
Connor was as hungry for love as Alex…But he could not, would not, seek it from her. She was leaving, and the one thing he knew he could never do was abandon Windover.
“MIKE’S on his way over. He’s going to run things for me today. I’ve gotta go into Red Deer after lunch.”
Connor made the announcement as cheerfully as he could, successfully hiding his dark feeling of despair. It was nice of his friend Mike to lend a hand, but Connor was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. The source of the outbreak was still being investigated. If anything tied it to his herd he’d have to cull the whole lot. Windover would be finished. And no amount of money would save it, trust fund or not.
He picked at his pancakes, not actually eating much. If Windover was finished, he should release Alex from their agreement. Yet he wasn’t ready to let go. He wasn’t giving up on Windover yet, and he wasn’t going to give up on her either. Sure, he could release her, but then what would she do? He’d made her a promise. And he’d deliver on it no matter what.
“We need to go shopping.” Johanna interrupted the silence.
Alex and Connor looked up from their breakfast to stare at Johanna.
“I got groceries yesterday,” Alex explained, her eyes darting between Johanna and Connor with confusion.
“Not that kind of shopping. Clothes shopping. You need a wedding dress, and you’re already squeezing into your jeans.”
Alex flushed. “I can manage,” she said, spinning a piece of pancake in the syrup on her plate.
Connor nodded. “Gram’s right. I’m sorry, Alex, I should have seen to it before now. But things have been…”
“Busy. It’s fine.”
He looked at her, dressed in the same jeans and T-shirt he was growing used to seeing. She’d asked for nothing, nothing at all. She had to have some new things. That was all there was to it. When he’d made this proposition looking after her welfare had become his duty, and he simply should have seen before now how threadbare her wardrobe was.
He looked outside at the rain falling. One of the reasons he’d decided to meet with John, Cal and Rick was that the rainy day meant no haying. He’d called them early, asking them to meet. They were ranchers, like him, who had everything to lose. And they hadn’t hesitated when he’d suggested getting together.
“Why don’t we go this afternoon? I can drop you off on my way, pick you up on the way back.”
Alex put down her fork. “I don’t want to inconvenience you, Connor.”
“It’s no inconvenience. In fact, I insist.” He forced a grin. “Come on, I didn’t think you’d fight me on a shopping trip!”
Johanna interjected. “A bride needs a suitable dress, and maternity clothes will soon be a must. We’re going to need a whole day, dear.”
Connor met his grandmother’s gaze, relieved. He’d been thinking that Alex had no wedding dress. She had no more than what she’d brought in that single bag. Yet he hadn’t known how to go about saying it without hurting Alex’s feelings. Coming from Johanna, it seemed less critical than he’d imagined.
“We can go this morning.”
“Really, you two, this isn’t necessary…” Alex interjected, pushing her plate away.
“Nonsense. Connor, there’s no reason why you can’t join us for the morning, have lunch, and drop us off after at the formal wear store to shop for dresses.” She winked at him. “We will spare you the wedding dress shopping.”
A morning shopping wasn’t normally what he’d call fun, but when he looked at Alex he saw reluctance mingled with a tiny bit of anticipation. When was the last time someone had treated her to a shopping spree? When was the last time he’d taken a day off?
“I’m game if you are, Alex.”
Alex had never had anyone treat her to a day of shopping, and the sheer novelty of it was exciting. Yet she hesitated to agree. She didn’t have any money of her own, and felt like enough of a freeloader already, without Connor and Johanna paying for an entirely new wardrobe.
“I’m sure Connor would like to see you in something other than jeans and T-shirts,” Johanna went on, aiming a pointed glare in Connor’s direction.
Alex met Connor’s eyes. There was nothing in the warm depths that criticized