He lifted her out of the car and carried her upstairs, passing Jace, who’d apparently fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for them. Andre smiled.
No, he didn’t have what he’d thought he wanted.
But he definitely had what he needed. And if he sometimes got pangs for things he used to want, that was okay, too. He’d make those sacrifices a thousand times over to be with these two people. No one could have it all. And he had more than he deserved.
After he tucked Evan into bed, he pulled Martine’s card from his pocket and tossed it in the trash. That past had no place in his life anymore.
Jace blinked and rubbed his eyes, disoriented for a second until he realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch. The living room was dark except for the flashing light of the TV, and the arm he’d laid his head on had gone numb beneath him. He groaned, shaking out his arm, and sat up. He glanced toward the hallway that led to their bedroom. Had Evan and Andre come home and left him on the couch? That wasn’t like them. But before he could pull his thoughts together, noise from the kitchen drew his attention.
He pushed himself up from the couch and padded barefoot into the kitchen, where he found Andre fixing a bowl of cereal. Jace leaned against the doorway, watching the quiet, efficient moves of his lover, still amazed at how differently he saw Andre now. They’d lived together as best friends and roommates for years, and Jace had put such a friend wall up that he’d blocked out the attraction growing between them. But now that the truth had come out, he found it impossible not to see the guy for what he was—gorgeous and his. “We still have some lasagna left over in the fridge if you want something more substantial.”
Andre looked back over his shoulder. “Oh, hey. No, this is fine. And sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Jace scratched his chest and yawned. “No worries. You know the rule. If you wake someone up, be prepared to get them off.”
Andre laughed. “Oh, is that right? Is this a newly minted edict?
“Yep.”
“Uh-huh. So every time you wake me up with your snoring, I should nudge you awake and demand a blow job?”
Jace grinned. “I can work with that.”
Andre’s gaze traveled over Jace’s bare chest, interest sparking there, but then he seemed to dismiss the thought, a distracted look crossing his features. He pushed himself up to sit on the counter and grabbed his bowl of cereal. “You didn’t have to wait up for us. She told you we’d be late.”
Jace shrugged and stepped into the kitchen. “The bed feels too empty when y’all are gone. Plus, I had to catch up on some work stuff anyway.”
“Work stuff,” Andre said, frowning. “Feels like that’s all we’re doing lately.”
Jace went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Yeah, it’s been a crazy few months for all of us.”
“You’re not kidding. I thought we were all holding it together pretty well with our schedules. But tonight I got a chance to see Evan at work. She’s wearing herself down, man,” Andre said between bites of cereal. “She fell asleep in the car on the way home and said she wasn’t feeling well.”
Jace straightened, that tidbit raising his concern. “Is she sick?”
“Not sure. Maybe. Even if she isn’t, she’s running herself down.” His gaze darted toward the doorway as if to make sure Evan hadn’t appeared. “I want to talk to her about it and suggest she take a break, but I also don’t want to come across like a controlling asshole.”
Jace turned, the worry in Andre’s voice becoming his own. Telling Evan to slow down would be a risky conversation. She liked to stay busy. She’d suffered from depression in her past, and Jace got the feeling that always being on the move and staying occupied were her ways of making sure it never returned. He wasn’t convinced she trusted happiness yet. Every time she’d had a glimmer of it before, it had been yanked away. So he understood that it would take some time for her to fully believe that what she, Jace, and Andre had was real and lasting.
But he also didn’t want her driving herself into the ground in the meantime. Because unlike in the past, she had him and Andre for support now. If any bad feelings tried to claim her again, they would be there for her and help her through it.
But straight up telling her she needed to take a break probably wouldn’t be very effective. Evan did a beautiful job submitting to him and Andre in the bedroom, but God help the man who tried to dictate things outside of it. Jace would have to approach it from a different angle. “Has she taken a weekend off since that Saturday we spent at The Ranch?”
A few weeks ago, they’d all gone to the private BDSM resort they belonged to and had spent the entire day and night indulging in all the kink resort had to offer. He’d even gotten Andre to play submissive alongside Evan, which was a rare occurrence. Andre was a switch and could enjoy both sides of the fence, but usually he had a hard time resisting the fun of topping Evan.
“I don’t think so,” Andre said. “And I didn’t realize how intense doing weddings can be. She’s all over the place, carrying around that equipment, dealing with highly emotional people. I feel drained from just following her around, so I can’t imagine how she must feel doing two or three of those a weekend. And for money we don’t even need.”
Jace swallowed another gulp of water and shook his head. “I swear, sometimes I wonder if she thinks we’re going to up and leave her. It’s like she’s determined to build some nest egg just in case. If I thought it would help, I’d take my damn bank account and sign it over to her.”
Andre grunted in agreement. “I know, but can you blame her? She grew up being bounced around in foster care, and our relationship isn’t exactly the picture of traditional stability. She’s too smart not to prepare for every possible outcome.”
Jace sniffed. “If this isn’t stable, I don’t know what is. We love her. We’ve collared her.”
“I know. But it’s not that simple.” Andre looked pensive, staring down at his cereal bowl. “I ran into Martine tonight.”
Jace blinked, startled for a moment by both the shift in topic and the news. “Your ex?”
“Yeah. She works with the groom,” he said, not looking at all happy by that turn of events. “And she saw me with Evan, so I told her about our relationship, since I’d given Martine the impression that I was gay. But when she heard that I’m also with a guy, I could tell she viewed the whole thing as a whim. That’s what everyone thinks—we’re on some kinky adventure that we’ll get out of our system before we grow up and set up actual lives.”
“That’s bullshit,” Jace groused, even though he knew that was what most outsiders thought. The vanilla world didn’t understand what collared meant. They didn’t understand what to do with people who didn’t match up in neat pairs.
“It is. But regardless, I’m not sure Evan doesn’t still have a little of that doubt in her mind, too. Hell”—he set down his bowl and made a frustrated gesture with his hand—“even I feel insecure about it sometimes.”
“What?” Jace said, the admission punching him flush in the gut. He set down his water bottle.
Andre grimaced at Jace’s tone. “Look, I don’t doubt that we all love each other, or that we aren’t all committed to this. Because God knows, you two are everything to me. But come on, Jace, worry has to cross your mind. I mean, sometimes I look at y’all together, and I wonder if I’m just in the way. You two could be perfectly fine without me, and